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Simon Mayo's Confessions

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media 134 Episodes Jul 24, 2026

Simon Mayo's Confessions is a podcast where listeners share their most embarrassing and hilarious secrets, seeking forgiveness from host Simon Mayo and the Confessional Collective. The show features tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes, including confessions too risqué for broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio. Expect a mix of humor and heartfelt moments as sinners unburden themselves.

Episodes

Beach baby & other tales
Beach baby & other tales Jul 24, 2026 00:44:53 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Holy collective. We start with a World Cup watch party that turns into the most awkward buffet raid imaginable..Storm Doris exposes “mum and dad time” evidence. Sarah “borrows” her brother’s badly behaved dog on Brancaster beach and denies everything. And we finish with Herb's show off moment, that causes chaos in a local village.Got a confession?
Confessions from the Crypt Special
Confessions from the Crypt Special Jul 17, 2026 00:27:09 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for another “Confessions from the Crypt” special — lock the doors and grab your torch.Maria Callas (from Middlesbrough, obviously) reveals how a snowbound dash for the only train to London ended with her welded to Eric Cantona’s chest… Then one anonymous parent admits to a decade-long lie involving their daughter and a micro
There she goes  & other tales
There she goes & other tales Jul 10, 2026 00:43:28 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for 80s burger-van feuds, a keyboard prank that goes wildly “professional”, and a revenge plot involving five pounds of fish and three pints of maggots.Ellie relives a small-town grudge match, a school-disco “sex god”, and the moment her arch enemy gets sacked while she keeps very quiet about the free burgers.Plus: Wifey swa
He’ll have to go & other tales
He’ll have to go & other tales Jul 3, 2026 00:40:39 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for RAF police “Batmobile” patrols that terrorise midnight Cluedo players… and accidentally spotlight the boss.Max relives a 1989 traffic jam, a suspiciously wide-necked Apple-Aid bottle, and a lay-by moment that ends with an unfortunate “gift” for a grateful hitchhiker.Then Jani’s missing neon tetra is found in the worst po
You’ve been, you’ve been thunderstruck & other tales
You’ve been, you’ve been thunderstruck & other tales Jun 26, 2026 00:37:47 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for sibling “rugby practice” that ends in A&E, a holiday comeback that goes painfully wrong, a Dolly Parton impression and a truly grim Vaseline mix-up.Nick relives 1984: a beanbag tackle bag, a perfectly executed “chop tackle”, and a sister’s head meeting a handmade doll’s house — followed by a bunk-bed cover story… and
In through the out door & other tales
In through the out door & other tales Jun 19, 2026 00:43:24 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for exam cheating in a lucky jumper, a welding lesson that goes catastrophically… south, and a nursing “snapshot” you may not want to hear while eating. First, Homer admits to a very 70s kind of malpractice: smuggling fully-loaded notes into a final exam on official paper and somehow ending up a headteacher. Then apprentice welder Ste
Oh! This is the greatest show & other tales
Oh! This is the greatest show & other tales Jun 12, 2026 00:40:19 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for naked ramblers, dodgy “shampoo”, and a circus moment nobody in grey trousers will ever forget. Jamie and Sara take a sat-nav shortcut straight into a countryside encounter with a group of naturist ramblers — and a hedge full of nettles. Don’t look… but you will. Then Tim rewinds to bath night, 1968: a seven-year-old, a
Hello clouds, hello sky & other tales
Hello clouds, hello sky & other tales Jun 5, 2026 00:43:15 Step into the confessional with Father Simon and the Collective for a police mishap, a fishing adventure, a boarding school caper and a teacher prank. First Joe DiMaggio has an eventful break with his fellow police colleagues involving a broken pool cue. Then Steven’s going on a fishing adventure, but watch out for the fish hooks. Plus: Julie is asking for forgiveness for a prank on a fellow teac
The wind beneath my wings & other tales
The wind beneath my wings & other tales May 29, 2026 00:39:44 Step into the confessional with Father Simon and the Collective for soup-based horror, airborne football crimes, and one truly catastrophic “wind” in an operating theatre.First, a classic from the crypt: Lorraine’s 80s tin-code mix-up leaves a brother eating chicken soup… plus a black, gelatinous blob of mould, followed by two days in hospital that nobody even notices.Then Alf’s military hangover
Don’t go chasing waterfalls & other tales
Don’t go chasing waterfalls & other tales May 22, 2026 00:45:47 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for a vintage school-days reckoning, a Wembley fishbone emergency, lockdown jigsaw vengeance, and a fairground waterslide disaster.Nigel relives the wild early-80s logic of collective punishment after a playground scuffle leaves a classmate dangling from a fence — and an innocent kid caught in the mix for reporting stolen tr
All day long, all day long on the chaise lounge & other tales
All day long, all day long on the chaise lounge & other tales May 15, 2026 00:42:46 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for an episode full of sibling sabotage, supermarket shame, and the perils of damp underpants.Tim admits to a targeted reign of terror on his little brother. John’s 1999 CFAX football obsession ends in disaster, Richard loses control of some “loose grapes” at Sutton Safeway, and Mike’s sixth-form skinny-dipping leaves a very
Put the kettle on and make some tea & other tales
Put the kettle on and make some tea & other tales May 8, 2026 00:46:14 Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for another batch of confessions.In a classic from the crypt, a lonely trucker accepts one Guinness too many… then points a hopeful Beryl to entirely the wrong big red lorry.Then it’s Jan’s rabbit escape that ends in an axe, a fingertip flap, and a grandad who chooses bunny retrieval over first aid.Plus: a prison officer’s catastrophic

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