In The News This Week (the Have I Got News For You podcast)
While the TV show is on break, this podcast brings a curated selection of news items that would have made it onto the programme. A quartet of creatives behind the scenes discuss what makes each item Have I Got News For You worthy. Hosted by Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment. A Hat Trick Podcast.
Episodes
Trump’s European Plea, Morrissey’s Meltdown & Blub the Goldfish
In Round One, the team discuss Donald Trump’s plea for
military help from Europe with Iran, his deteriorating relationship with Keir Starmer and his secretary of war’s wife’s new nickname.
In Round 2, we hear what recent event Morrissey will take a “year
to recover” from, why Winston Churchill might be replaced by a beaver and how modern-day treasure hunters still exist.
In Round 3, the Missing
Blair Wades In, ‘Ice Barbie’ Let Go & Land-Grabbing Gnomes
In Round One, the team discuss the UK government’s response to the escalating conflict between the US and Iran, Tony Blair’s latest intervention in Middle Eastern politics and whether Keir Starmer’s stance could really be his “Love Actually moment”.
In Round Two, we hear about the spectacular downfall of former US Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, from luxury deportation jets to a $50k Role
Operation Epic Fury, The Bye Keir Election & Butter Sommeliers
In Round One, the team discuss the latest escalation in the Middle East, America’s questionable branding strategy (“lethalitymaxxing”) and the political fallout at home as Reform UK’s supposedly unstoppable rise proves… very stoppable in the Gorton and Denton by-election.
In Round Two, we celebrate 30 years of Pokémon (and discover there are now 1,025 of them, including one that is literally a bag
Andrew Arrested, New Trump Tariffs & The Fly-Tipping Dog
In Round One, the team discuss the arrests of Prince Andrew and Peter Mandelson, the viral “sweating” photo, calls to remove Andrew from the line of succession and Donald Trump’s tariff plans being struck down by the US Supreme Court.
In Round Two, we hear about the Sheffield Co-op going viral for the symphonic hum of its freezer aisle and the Catford residents who installed (and then mourned) the
Obama’s Alien Slip, Liz Truss Trump Pic & Openly Gen Z Stoats
In Round One, the team discuss Barack Obama ‘breaking the internet’ by suggesting aliens are real, Liz Truss finally managing to snag a photo with Donald Trump, and Keir Starmer being accused of running a “zombie government” after yet more U-turns — from delaying local elections to the Palestine Action proscription row, plus some properly murky Westminster briefing wars.
In Round 2, we dive into t
Starmer Under Pressure, Sarwar Speaks Out & Crime-Fighting Llamas
In Round One, the team unpack the latest in Keir Starmer’s leadership wobbles, how Morgan McSweeney’s taken the fall and who could be the next knife-wielder? Angela Rayner? Wes Streeting? Or the UK’s answer to Zohran Mamdani, Ed Miliband…
In Round Two, we hear about Australia’s commemorative coin that somehow makes the late Queen look like Wayne Rooney in fancy dress, and the Armenian party propo
More Epstein Files, Starmer's Football & Almond Moms
In Round One, the team discuss the fallout from 3 million more Epstein Files being released and the potential implications for Peter Mandelson, Prince Andrew and Bill Gates.
In Round 2, we learn about the exorcist who makes his job sound mundane and the museum that revels in personal failure.
In Round 3, the Missing Words Round, we hear about how a ‘big baby’ boxer was recently embarrassed in the
Burnham’s Ban, Kemi’s Quotes & Camels Causing Chaos
The team discuss Keir Starmer’s controversial decision to block Andy Burnham from running as an MP, reportedly over fears it could threaten his leadership, before playing the ‘King of the North’ game. They then cover Kemi Badenoch’s appearance on Desert Island Discs, Suella Braverman’s defection to Reform and Labour’s plans to create a UK police body similar to the FBI.
In Round 2, we learn more a
Starmer on hold, Jibes at Jenrick & Shrunken Bull Balls
With Donald Trump continuing to campaign for total control of Greenland and now threatening tariffs on the UK, the team ask the question: Is Starmer tough enus? Meanwhile, they also discuss Kemi Badenoch’s biggest moment yet to sack Robert Jenrick before his defection to Reform and Nigel Farage’s likeness to a duck.
In round 2, Jack reveals how one renaissance artist’s paintings had to be censore
Greenland, GROK & The Return of the Great Asparamancer
The team kicks off the new year and new series by taking a look at Donald Trump’s attempts to establish his new world order, prompting an ambitious plan to thwart him involving Jupiter, King Charles and a fake spaceship.
They also talk about Grok, the AI companion on Elon Musk’s social media site ‘X’, before the team assess Labour’s latest U-turn triggered by furious pub landlords, Jeremy Clarkson
Trump in Trouble, Keir’s Ultimatum & The Rampaging Goat
In this festive series finale, the team unpick the limited learnings from the heavily redacted Epstein files and Vanity Fair’s exposé of Trump’s inner circle, before turning to rumours of an ultimatum involving Angela Rayner, Louise Haigh and Morgan McSweeney – as Labour MPs brace for what could be disastrous May elections under Keir Starmer.Next, Emerald reveals that all three of the UK’s Norths
Council Fines, Transport Tidings & The Sausage Bandit
Producer Diggory steps in to reveal the heartwarming details of Buckinghamshire’s newest school – built in a millionaire’s garden before Queenie reports on the sausagey mystery gripping Bristol’s local Facebook scene. Next, Emerald offers her 2025 Transport Tidings complete with a train miracle fit for Christmas and the news that the UK’s biggest pothole has finally been filled. To finish, we play
Carpet Museums, Terrifying Mascots & Old-Old-Old Rice
Mike reveals why Zack Polanski didn’t appear as scheduled on the TV show this week before delivering the sad news that the Kidderminster Carpet Museum will be closing its doors. Next, Queenie reports on MPs demanding an upgrade to the parliamentary gym and Jack takes us through Japan’s catchphrase of the year, featuring Rihanna-levels of work, a terrifying mascot and some very old rice. In the Mis
Footballing Nuns, Batmen for Justice & George the Parrot
Producer Diggory returns to the podcast to sift through listener comments on Spotify before Emerald leads one of her famed Odd One Out rounds, this time featuring Batman, a footballing nun and robots with “ominous” Northern Irish accents who may all have links to Fathers for Justice…Next, Jack whisks us back to the so-called “golden age of air travel” as he unpicks Sean Duffy and the US Department
Celebrity friends, ‘Quirky’ Driving Habits & Piggy Tourists
After receiving messages from several Scottish football fans, Mike apologises for his comments about their World Cup qualification prospects from last week, before taking us through the story of Mark Bryan from Redbridge, who was interviewed by the UK press after eye surgery left him hallucinating “Baywatch-style” women at all hours of the day.Queenie then reports on an Australian inmate pleading
Quirky Side Hustles, Vending Machines & Genius Dogs
The team chat about where the TV show was last Friday before Jack takes us through Tesco Mobiles poll of 1400 people with ‘quirky side hustles’ – some are legit, others less legit and the rest are total bullsh*t. Queenie then investigates a National Folklore survey that claims you’re more likely to be visited by a ghost if you’re under 35 and Mike reveals all about the university testing for geniu
Peppa Pig Syndrome, True Gentlemen & Jackie Potatoes
The team briefly touch on Kim Kardashian’s new, critically panned TV show All’s Fair and The Traitors finale, before Jack (eventually) explains what 'Peppa Pig Syndrome' is whilst unpacking a Times survey of 10,000 teachers that concludes Americanisms are sweeping across UK classrooms.Later, Mike introduces us to the newest and greatest movie star on the planet (and no, it is not Jackie Potatoes),
Political Panto, Sponsor-A-Mouse & Snail Box Farms
Mike sends in a voice note with some juicy behind-the-scenes insight from the TV show, after the recording was interrupted by the breaking Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor news. The team then discuss the strange, snail-related tax-avoidance scheme spreading across London (slowly) and play Emerald’s latest game, ‘Tax Avoidance or a Load of Pants?’Later, Queenie takes the team through the story of a teach
Toilet Bats, Banned Black Cats & "You Can't Do That?!"
Mike gives the team an exclusive preview of what to expect from Friday’s Halloween episode of Have I Got News for You, before they wrestle with another tricky Odd One Out from Emerald - featuring a UK crocodile sighting, a toilet bat and creepy crawlies scuttling amok in Google HQ.Later, Mike takes us through the unbelievable British laws you didn’t know you could be unwittingly breaking, before Q
Anti-Aging Studies, Smelly Stamps & Apathetic Aliens
Mike returns to the pod to reveal some top behind the scenes treats from working on the TV show before the team discuss the papers’ obsession with anti-aging studies, the UK’s newest pothole filling vigilante and the latest theory as to why humans haven’t be contacted by intelligent, extraterrestrial life. Later, they fill in some missing words from headlines about the French post office, Swansea
AI Friends, Porridge Champions & Clairvoyant Cats
The team discuss how one in five Brits see their AI companions as ‘friends’, the takeaways from the world porridge making championships and Emerald’s Trump-themed ‘Metal Matrix’ game… Later, they chat about why Stephen King’s marriage was on the rocks, top tips from the World Wine-Tasting Championship and a tarot card reading cat going viral online…If you enjoy the podcast, please give us a 5-star
Homebound Nuns, Dossing Detectives & Smuggled Woodlice
The team return for another series of the podcast – this time alongside the TV show! They tackle a tricky odd one out involving Austrian nuns, Russian bears and a confused Canadian in the UK before learning about dossing detectives and the UK’s hottest new pet trend: exotic woodlice…Later, they chat about the real root of a suspected gas leak in Lancashire, the name of the new train destined to de
Migrant Protests, Rayner’s Third Home & The Oldest Chicken
The team discusses the major party’s reactions to the anti-immigration protests taking place outside hotels, Angela Rayner’s new home and holiday photos and Trump’s ramping up of the use of the National Guard.Later, they chat about Gen Z’s work-based plan to combat loneliness, the boy addicted to jacket potatoes, and how – despite all the odds – Pearl the chicken has lived long enough to be crowne
Zelensky's Meeting, Best Diplomat Jokes & Skibidi Toilet
The team discusses Volodymyr Zelensky’s meeting with Donald Trump at the White House, the ‘crack team’ of European leaders who came to back him up and which country’s diplomat has the best joke.Later, they chat about backpack-wearing cyborg cockroaches, Nigel Farage’s new football shirt for sale and explain how to correctly use the newest word in the Cambridge Dictionary: ‘Skibidi’.Your hosts are
Trump's Date with Putin & No to Squid and Chips
The team discuss Kemi Badenoch's school snitching admission, unpick the mass pensioner imprisonments from the Palestine Action protest and compare the two greatest bromances on the international stage: Trump & Putin and JD Vance & David Lammy. Later they explain how Fantasy football works, why an Argentinian man received $12,500 in compensation from Google and provide an update from Aalborg Zoo...
Yvette Cooper, 'Lawless Britain' & The Teesside Mega-Rat
The team discuss Trump’s hideous $200 million White House ballroom extension, Labour and Yvette Cooper mimicking Nigel Farage’s call to have criminal suspect’s ethnicity and immigration status revealed and the many, many books written by Reform UK’s newest member, Rupert Matthews. They also chat about Tesco’s viral (and sad) birthday cake sandwich, the Squonkerpalooza Festival celebrating everyone
Lionesses’ win, Trump’s Golf Trip & Buttered Cats
The team discuss the lionesses back-to-back Euros triumphs, Trump’s questionable golf game on his trip to Scotland and the Online Safety Act – if Big Busty British Women dot co dot UK are reading this please do get in touch about that sponsorship... They then go on to chat about a kleptomaniac cat in New Zealand, the intern fired from a prestigious law firm for biting her colleagues and if the UK
Tory Reshuffle, The End of Ofwat & Girl Guide Badges
The team get together in person for once to discuss parliament breaking for recess, the scrapping of the water regulator 'Ofwat', Kemi Badenoch raising tories from the dead in her reshuffle and Reform's 'big' law and order policy ideas...Then they chat about the 72 new badges available to girl guides, the 6 million dollar banana artwork eaten again and pay tribute to late great Pauline Richards, t
Trump, Angela Rayner & The Club World Cup
The team talk about Donald Trump’s realisation that Vladamir Putin might actually not be a good guy after all, his decision to arm Ukraine and strange trophy lift at The Club World Cup. Later, they discuss Angela Rayner’s spat with Unite, question what could turn a pigeon green and ponder how they would spoil their plushies should they take them to a 'Plushie Hotel'… For updates on the show and to
Macron’s State Visit, A New Political Party & Jeremy Hunt’s Toaster
The team go through Keir Starmer’s to-do list – starting with the immediate issue of Emmanuel Macron’s state visit, sorting out the economy, and handling threats from other political parties – both old and new… Later, they bring you all the latest fashion news from the Oasis reunion, the £500,000 full stop and Jeremy Hunt’s toaster.For updates on the show and to get involved in future 'Missing Wor
Glastonbury, Another U-Turn & Robot Football
The team gather at a pork pie buffet to cover Rod Stewart’s Glastonbury set, another humiliating U-turn for Starmer and Nigel Farage’s aspirational aftershave...Plus: JD Vance’s baby photos, China’s first AI football tournament and succulent Chinese meals…For updates on the show and to get involved in future 'Missing Words Rounds', make sure you’re following Have I Got News for You on Instagram, T
Trump's Outburst, Labour Rebellion & 'Cake in Post'
The team discuss Donald Trump’s outburst at Israel and Iran after both sides accused each other of breaking a freshly agreed ceasefire - before diving into Keir Starmer’s growing Labour rebellion and trying to decode Nigel Farage’s so-called ‘Robin Hood Tax’ (which even he admits he’s not clever enough to explain).They also unveil a Battenberg-based policy that could sway any electorate, predict t
Pentagon Pizzas & The 'Special' Relationship
The team chat about how pizzas at the pentagon led to correct predictions of rising tensions between Israel and Iran, schoolground antics at the G7 (otherwise known as the G6+1), Starmer’s papers pickup and Trump’s pathetic military parade…They also report on Van Gogh’s broken chair, Uri Geller’s insistence on his psychic powers and play Middle Earth’s greatest game: ‘Mordor or More Door?’… If you
The Spending Review, Pensioner's U-Turn & Zebras on the Loose
The team return to discuss Labour’s Winter Fuel Allowance U-turn, the lack of police funding in the latest spending review, Greta Thunberg’s intercepted flotilla and Ed Miliband's rap name.They also report on the closing of the gates to Hell, a 200-year-old condom and the dramatic capture of Tennessee’s most wanted fugitive – Ed the Zebra.If you enjoy the podcast, please give us a 5-star rating on
Welfare Cuts, Reform Infighting & Prize-Winning Pie
The team discuss Keir Starmer's recent polling after his response to developments in the war in Ukraine and how his numbers could be affected by Rachel Reeves' planned welfare benefit cuts, the prospective overhaul of the civil service and changes to planning permissions. They also talk about infighting in the Reform Party, fishy webcams and the result of the 'UK Pie of Pies' competition...EXCLUSI
Oval Office Spat, Prime Ministers' Oscars & The Mouse of Lords
The team discusses the recent White House fallout between President Zelenskyy, President Trump, and Vice President Vance, how the media's response has differed between the US and the UK, and the unlikely group that has benefitted the most from the saga...Later, they hypothesise over which prime minister would be best suited to win an Oscar, a faulty lighthouse and complaints from the House of Lord
Trump Meets Macron, The German Elections & Not-So-Stupid Emus
The team answers the question 'Who is Friedrich Merz?', discuss the rise of the far right following the results of the German election, before reporting on Trump and Macron’s press conference on Ukraine.In addition, they provide an update on Liz Truss and Nigel Farage at the Conservative Political Action Conference, chat about a Bigfoot bill proposed by a Californian politician and reveal which bi
Competing Peace Talks, Trained Human Sniffers & The Unlikey Asteroid
The team discuss the two sets of peace talks taking place over the war in Ukraine, Keir Starmer’s aspiration to be a bridge between the EU & US and Kemi Badenoch’s recent blunder in PMQs along with her performance as leader of the opposition.They also chat about the ‘trained human sniffers’ employed to smell ancient Egyptian mummies, big hockey game brawls, a not-so-earth-bound asteroid and Ringo
Reform's Rise, Dodgy WhatsApps & The Superb Owl
The team discuss how Labour and the Tories are responding to Reform’s recent rise in the polls, sacked Labour ministers leaked WhatsApps chats and Angela Rayner’s alleged comments about Keir Starmer and Prince Andrew. They also chat about the closure of the UK’s National Poo Museum, the research into the best way you can boil an egg and a feathery alternative to the Super Bowl…EXCLUSIVE NordVPN De
Tariff Tantrums, Sexy Potholes & Free Pints
The team discuss the fallout from Trump’s tariff tantrums, the new behind-the-scenes book on Keir Starmer's rise to power and North Korea reopening its doors to foreign tourists (because who wouldn’t want to visit a 'food stuff' processing factory?) Later, they chat about Britain’s obsession with potholes, Elon Musk's space junk and how Nottingham Forest single-handedly cost a local pub thousands
Starmer's Big Call & Reeves' Heathrow Runway
The team chat about Trump and Starmer's call to 'get to know each other', Rachel Reeve's plans to build a third runway at Heathrow, the emergence of DeepSeek, prehistoric fish puke, clever footballers and much more! EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/inthenews Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!If you enjoy the podcast, please give us a 5-star rating on Apple Podcas
Trump's Back, Melania's Hat & Boatloads of Gravy
The team unpack everything about Trump's inauguration from Melania's hat to Mark Zuckerberg's wandering eye before discussing Darth Vader bugs, yellow cards on trains and lots of gravy...EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/inthenews Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!If you enjoy the podcast, please give us a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and make sure y
A.I. Overload, Rachel Reeves & Pineapple on Pizza
The team discuss Rachel Reeves' promise to take the UK economy "further and faster" (off a cliff?), Tulip Siddiq's resignation from her post as Treasury Minister and Keir Starmer's plan to make Britain an AI superpower... Whatever that means. Next, they talk about the newborn baby named Lucifer, pineapple on pizza and the greatest threat to podcast hosts everywhere...If you enjoy the podcast, plea
Ed Davey, Elon Musk & Mysterious Bananas
Join your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment as they discuss Ed Davey's time on Have I Got News for You, Elon Musk's recent outbursts on Twitter (or 'X' - whatever...), the curious case of mystery bananas in Nottingham and introduce the first edition of our new 'Missing Word' round...Make sure you subscribe or follow the podcast to not miss a single episode! For upd
Trump Wins "Bigly" & The Joy of Bins
In this post US election special, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller and Emerald Paston (with the help of a voice note from the absent usual co-host Mike Rayment) discuss Donald Trump's triumph over Kamala Harris, how Labour politicians are already cozying up to the next US administration and the bin-related activity that ranks amongst the greatest thrills in British life...
Make sure you subs
Keir's Sausage Slip-Up, The Great Rat Hunt & Rod Stewart News
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment discuss Keir's sausage slip-up in his speech at the Labour Conference in Liverpool, an island-wide rat hunt taking place in Antarctica and the sheer amount Rod Stew
HIGNFY US, Three-Word Slogans and Big Autumn Energy
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment go behind-the-scenes with Jack Harris to discuss the debut of Have I Got News for You US, unpack the fallout from another assassination attempt on Donald Trump and answer the qu
Winter Fuel Allowance, Dating Jeremy Corbyn & Super Sweet Peaches
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston, and Mike Rayment unpack the controversial vote by MPs to support the government's motion to slash the Winter Fuel Allowance for pensioners, the latest casualty in the Tory Leadersh
Tory Leadership Merch, Sidewalk Stew & The Never-Ending Cruise
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston, and Mike Rayment guide you through the latest twists in the Tory leadership contest, a disastrous work trip, Belfast's stranded cruise saga, and the new (terrible) social media tre
Keir's Economic Eulogy, Misleading Milk Bottles & The Best Oasis Insults
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
In this episode, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment react to Keir Starmer's morbid address to journalist's in Number 10's Rose Garden, discuss misleading bottle tops and marvel at the reunification of Oasis...
Labour Backtracks, Biden's New Bedtime & Enough Of Boffins
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment discuss how Labour's honeymoon period post election may now be over, the highlights so far from the DNC in the US and why 'boffins' are still trying to convince us
Tories, Turds & Extortionate Antiperspirant
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment discuss Jack's time kicking off Have I Got News for You US, the Tory Leadership race and both political and pooltical vandalism...
Make sure you subscribe to the po
Civil Unrest, Kennedy's Bear and Sneaky Seagulls
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment discuss the riots taking place across the UK following the horrific attack in Southport on 29th July, the updates in the Presidential election in the US and how to
Rachel Reeves, The Olympics and Larry's Nemesis
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment discuss Rachel Reeves plans to tackle the financial hole in public finances, round up the best stories from the Olympics and reveal who Larry the Cat's new nemesis
Kamala Harris and the Asparagus Oracle
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment discuss Joe Biden removing his candidacy for the US Presidential election, his endorsement of Vice President Kamala Harris and the Asparagus Oracle that predicted i
Trump, Vance and the National Trust Thought Police
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment discuss the assassination attempt on Donald Trump, his new presidential running mate JD Vance and the National Trust Thought Police...
Make sure you subscribe to th
Long Live Larry the Cat
Join some of the team behind Have I Got News For You as they take you through the serious (but more often not-so-serious) stories In The News This Week.
This week, your hosts Jack Harris, Queenie Miller, Emerald Paston and Mike Rayment discuss Labour's first week in power, new tourism opportunities for fans of the royals and wheelie bins...
Make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss
