it's not just you
Join Soph and Rach for honest conversations about the things everyone feels but no one really speaks about. The two friends, who met at university six years ago, discuss navigating change, embracing single life, having tricky conversations with friends, and questioning the meaning of life. Their chats are filled with vulnerability and plenty of giggles, reminding listeners that they are not alone in their experiences.
Episodes
help! he's living in my head rent free
if you’re struggling to work out whether the guy you like is actually giving you vibes back (whilst he’s living in your head rent-free) then this is the episode for you. we know this feeling all too well. but today, we’re also here to bring a little reality check: it's hard but maybe he’s just not that into you.
my insecurity is killing my friendships
todays episode is a vulnerable one as we chat about how our insecurity could be sabotaging and costing us our friendships without even knowing it. we discuss the hidden ways that comparison, insecure thinking and self doubt can create tension and distance with the ones we love most 💔 just to say people, you're not alone if you've sometimes felt like the difficulty in your personal life can seep ou
why does being a good friend feel like a full time job
we all say we want community. we want deep friendships and people who show up for us. but what happens when those same friendships start asking more of us than feels comfortable? in this episode we’re talking about the inconvenience of community. why do our friends' needs sometimes feel overwhelming? how do we balance boundaries with generosity? Join us for a big old chinwag!
i'm too busy for a relationship
can someone please explain how we're supposed to work a 9-5, exercise, see friends & fam, sleep well AND find quality time to spend with our boyfs??? today we're talking about our relationships and the battle for quality time. what does it look like to prioritise your partner when there's so many things competing for your time? join us for a rambly life update on where we're at
should i argue with my bf in front of my friends?
it's not just you who feels like interacting with your partner in front of other people isn't talked about enough! are we gonna be affectionate? are we gonna argue when we're with our mates? what are we gonna do if one of us says something the other completely disagrees with!? 👀 it can sometimes feel like pretty murky waters to navigate so today we're talking all things communicati
the full wedding debrief (rach is now a wifey) !!!
guys rach is now officially a wifey!!! 💍✨ so of course we’ve gotta debrief the wedding day with you!! in this episode we answer all your wedding-related- from how it felt walking down the aisle, to how it feels to be a wife, to what rach would do differently about the day, to trying to save money, to soph’s maid of honour speech, the list goes on! a special episode which we’re excited to share wit
thoughts every single girl in her late 20's has had
“i’m not attractive enough”, “maybe my standards are too high”, “what if i’ve missed my chance to meet someone?”. if you’re a single girl in your late 20s, chances are you’ve had at least one of these thoughts before – because we definitely have too. in this episode, we’re having an honest conversation about the pressures, comparisons, fears, and expectations that can come with being single in thi
i'm attracted to him but he's not my type
girlssss, grab a cuppa and a sweet treat, this weeks pod episode is a juicy one. today we’re asking the question...should you date someone who’s not your type? can chemistry grow? is having a “type on paper” actually holding us back from potential romantic prospects? join us for honest chats and personal stories as we dive into this weeks topic 🫶
why does maintaining my adult friendships feel so hard?
in this episode we reminisce on the 'good old days' and reflect about how friendships (and specifically friendship groups) change so much as life moves forward and the responsibilities of adult life take over. how do you 'do life' with your friends when you're in a 9-5 or when different groups from different parts of your life are demanding different things from you? 😅
how to have the best hen do
it's time for a big fat hen do debrief!!! in this episode we're telling you everything that happened at rach's hen. how did soph pull the weekend together?! what did we get up to? what are our biggest hen do top tips?! listen along for all the girly vibes as we prepare to get our rach married!
will i ever get married?
if you're in your 20s and surrounded by friends in long-term relationships or getting married, this episode is for you. we’re talking about the rollercoaster of emotions this comes with: joy, comparison, pressure. what do you do when you feel out of sync with the people around you? if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “behind”, this is your reminder: you’re not alone, and you’re not late!
i don't know how to comfort my friends
comforting a friend isn’t always easy, rightttt! so in this weeks episode, we dive into what it really means to show up for the people we care about.we talk about being the kind of friend who stays through the highs and the lows – being the one who listens without trying to fix everything, who sits in the uncomfortable hard moments, and who doesn’t walk away when the same struggles come up again a
getting into a relationship after being single for so long
getting into your first relationship after being single for so long can feel exciting.. & also a little overwhelming at times! in this episode we talk about going from being single to in a relationship and everything that comes with that change. how do you let someone love you when you're used to being independent?! what happens if you miss being single?! we're here to bring some light!
i wish i could tell my younger self this
today we’re getting nostalgic thinking back to our younger years and the things we wish we had known sooner! we’re chatting about everything - from the deep, to the light hearted life lessons we wish we had a big sis to guide us through. what would you back and tell your younger self!?
i'm in my twenties and i'm worried my friendships aren't going to last
it's not just you that wants to have friendships that go the distance. but lets be real guys, sometimes friendships can be haaaaard work 😅 but they are so so worth it, right 🥹 so how do we have friendships that withstand the test of time? the ups and downs, the awkward miscommunications and expectations unfulfilled – we're chatting about it allllll in todays episode.
i've been rejected and i feel awful about it
rejection hurts. whether it’s the guy you like, the dream job you hoped for, or friends leaving you out, hearing 'I don’t want you' can sting. in this episode, we talk about how to face rejection without spiralling. how do we process it in a healthy way and move forward with confidence? rejection isn’t always the end, sometimes it’s the redirection that leads you somewhere better!
life's too short to not take risks
at the start of 2026 we took a HUGE risk and quit our 9-5 jobs to pursue this podcast, eeeeek! it's been a wild journey so far & today we're asking YOU: what are the little thoughts, passions or ‘what ifs’ lingering in the back of your head? maybe you want to learn to dance, to run a race, to start a business, to move city. how would it feel to reach the age 80 and think ‘why didn’t i
how do i learn to like my unedited appearance?
is natural beauty even natural anymore? in this episode, we’re talking about the way subtle 'micro' treatments, invisible filler, and “undetectable” tweaks have created a beauty standard that just feels unattainable. if you’ve ever looked in the mirror and wondered why you don’t look as 'naturally beautiful as the girls on your feed, this is for you! we need to stop comparing the way w
am i where i should be at 27?
we have a birthday to celebrate. yes our very own soph has turned 27!!! in this week’s episode, we have an honest, unfiltered chat about how soph is really feeling as she approaches her late 20's. the excitement, the pressure, the comparison, the quiet “am i behind?” thoughts that seem to get louder. we're addressing it allllll. so, to all the 1999 babies turning 27 this year, or anyone questionin
how do i know if he's the one?
how do you know that the person you're with is the right person for you?! today we're hearing rach's story: how did she know she her fiancé was 'the one'? is there even such thing as 'the one'?! we're getting real and questioning whether 'romanticised' ways of thinking are always helpful or not.
our unfiltered opinions on going to the gym
let’s be honest, social media can often give us unrealistic expectations of what going to the gym looks like. from influencer lies, gym anxiety and the pressure to look like you know exactly what you’re doing, we’re sharing our completely unfiltered opinions on gym culture. if you’ve ever felt intimidated, or straight-up confused at the gym: this one’s for you!
how to survive a medium-distance relationship
as you may know, soph just got into her first relationship at 26..and her and her boyfriend live in different cities. so come along for the ride as we chat about the realities of medium-distance dating: the hard bits, and the unexpected positives. because honestly… it’s not all bad. welcome to season five of the it's not just you podcast!
would you rather: best friend edition
to wrap up season 4 we play a good old game of 'would you rather'. we chat about having access to each other's camera rolls or messages, boyfriends who are bad at gifts or bad at compliments, turning up overdressed or underdressed for an event and more. stay tuned for a *big life update* at the end of the podcast too ahead of january 2026! we love you guys ❤️
getting into my first relationship at 26 years old
yep. you read correctly. our very own soph is no longer a single queen!!!! 26 and getting into a relationship for the FIRST time. HOW did this happen?!? what's it like to start dating when you're 26?! listen a long for a good old story time!
the truth about university freshers
we relay our university fresher experiences: the good, the bad and the ugly. freshers gets hyped up a lot, but the reality doesn’t always match the expectations. for some, it’s the best week ever, for others it’s not so much. whatever your university experience, we're here to remind you: it's not just you.
living through non-stop change in my 20s
at the ripe old age of 26 we feel like we’ve learnt a couple of things about being in your twenties. does the change ever stop? what do you when new opportunities come your way but you still feel like you’re 15 years old? how are you supposed to juggle staying fit, having a social life, progressing your career and getting enough sleep? come and join us as we chat all things twenties!
rach is engaged !!!
she’s a fianceeeeee !!!!! guys, todays ep is a little bit of a different one because our very own rach is gonna be a wife 🤯 we’re giving you a full debrief on the whole engagement story, start to finish - from both perspectives! so buckle up, get comfy, grab a cup of tea and lock in for the next 35 mins of engagement goodness.
my best mates started dating each other
it's always weird when two of your friends decide they suddenly fancy each other. one day you're a trio, the next you're a third wheel & in this episode we discuss the shift that happens when your friends start dating each other. what do you do when you miss how things used to be? how do you deal with feeling left out? we're here to tell you it's not just you.
i’m single and all my friends are getting engaged
whether you're single or dating, people getting engaged can bring up weird feelings. sometimes jealousy, sometimes sadness at the idea of change, sometimes annoyance that you weren't involved in the proposal! feeling these things is pretty normal, it's how you push through these feelings and show up for your friends that matters.
no one told us we'd miss uni this much
there was a time when your best mates lived five steps away, plans were made in the kitchen at 11pm, and your wardrobe was basically communal. now... everyone’s busy, plans need two weeks’ notice, and borrowing a top isn’t just casual anymore – it actually requires asking. in this episode, we’re talking about the weird grief of post-uni friendship and all the things we miss, it's not just you
would you do these things with your best mate?
it’s time to chat about amber flags in friendships. would you share your mates toothbrush? pants? hold their hand? is having your friends on ‘find my friends’ normal or weird? this episode is a laugh as we contemplate the things people do with their friends that either feel normal or slightly concerning to us
i'm 26 and i've never had a boyfriend
we're back with a fan favourite, a follow up from an old episode 'i'm 24 and I've never had a boyfriend' – two years later and she's still living the single life 🤯 soph discusses why she's never been in a relationship and we conclude it's really not that strange. it's not just you who's wondered if you're the only one who's never dated or if there
i can't stop comparing myself to my best friend
we know comparison is the thief of joy but what happens when you can’t stop comparing yourself to your best friend? in this episode soph opens up about a difficult season of our friendship where she felt like every aspect of her life was falling short next to rach’s. from relationships, to friendships, to career, it felt all consuming. if you’ve ever felt like you're measuring yourself against som
i have big dreams and i feel stuck
ever struggled to feel content in the season you’re in? or felt like you have big dreams but have no idea how to pursue them? you’re not alone! today we’re joined by our visionary of a friend, connie. she shares her story, including the way she went from being made redundant to moving to london and getting a dream job in the creative industry with steven bartlett.
i struggle to let people love me
letting people love you can be hard sometimes. don’t get us wrong, it’s such an amazing gift to have people in your life who are kind and generous, but sometimes it can be hard to receive their love as a gift without feeling guilty. it’s important to learn how to do this 🫶
everyone in the group is closer to each other than they are to me
ever feel like you're competing with the people in your friendship group? ever feel like everyone knows each other better than you do? friendship groups can be full of weird dynamics and today we want to chat about them! hopefully you can relate and and take comfort in knowing it’s not just you.
i find making close friends hard
today we’re discussing close friendship. as adults, creating and building close friendships can be difficult. how do you meet new people? what do you do when you move to a brand new city?! join us as we share some of our friendship story, including we went from being total strangers at uni to the closest of friends!
my birthday stresses me out
find celebrating your birthday lowkey stressful? feel pressure to have the best day of your year? it's not just you! from choosing a way to celebrate, to deciding who to invite, to making sure everyone has a good time, birthday's can be a lot!
how to get through long distance
rach shares about the challenges in her long distance relationship. how did you get through it? how do you show someone you love them when you're far apart? how do you navigate communication across different lives, routines and maybe even time zones?! even though it's hard, there's loaads you learn from doing long distance and loads you gain!
the world of skincare stresses me out
ever felt totally and utterly STUCK when it comes to buying skincare products? same. today’s episode is essentially a half hour rant about the world of skincare. why are there thousands of the same product? why do we all feel the pressure to have a 10 step skincare routine? how does anyone know what to buy? looking after our skin is important but also surely there are more pressing things to focus
the reality of being single in your 20's
are you one of the only single people in your friendship group, circles, work place or maybe even family? we talk about some of the frustrating realities of being single when everyone around you is in a relationship (or maybe even married) with the hope of reminding anyone who needs it that they're not alone!
it's january and i'm struggling
it's not just you who struggles at the beginning of a new year. christmas is over, it's freezing cold and sometimes you're just not feeling attempting 5 *unrealistic* new goals. listen along as we chat about times we've struggled in the new year and things that have helped us get through january!
5 questions to ask your friends before 2025
what’s the bravest thing you did this year? who poured into you that you’d like to thank? we asked each other five interesting questions about 2024 and let’s just say this episode got emotional. how was your 2024? use these five questions to get conversation flowing with your friends or fam! ❤️
don't do this in front of the guy you like
we're having a bit of a laff in todays ep, as we totally expose ourselves with some of the embarrassing things we wouldn't DREAM of doing in front of the guy we liked. this one feels pretty vulnerable, so pleaseeee drop us a like and comment if you #relate.
the moment we realised our friendship had become unhealthy
we’re getting vulnerable today as we chat about how our friendship has had to change over the last year. ever realised your friendship with your close mate has become lowkey unhealthy?! we have! join us as we chat through the boundaries we had to put in place to keep our friendship thriving!
am i actually attracted to him?
sometimes someone is your type on paper but in reality you just don’t vibe. sometimes someone couldn’t be further from the kinda guy you’re usually attracted to but you just hit it off. when do you know if you actually fancy someone? if you’re getting the ick every other minute maybe they just aren’t the person for you!
i'm never going on a group holiday again
why can it be SO difficult to organise a group holiday?! different budgets, accommodation ideas, availability, will your holiday EVER make it out the group chat? join us for a real laff as we analyse and reminisce on some of our group holibobs experiences!
i've realised my parents aren't perfect
navigating your relationship with your parents can be kinda complex right?! as you grow older, you have a moment where you realise your parents are humans just like you and this can be difficult at times. how do you disagree well? how do you love them when it’s hard?
i need to ask for help but i can’t
today we're joined by our first ever MALE podcast guest. he brings the 'it's not just you' topic and shares about his struggle in asking for help. why do we avoid asking others to help us? how can shift our perspectives when approaching friends, family or colleagues in moments of need? after all, a problem shared is a problem halved!
why won't he notice me
it's not just you that tries to impress boys with the way you look. hands up if you've ever spent a little too long planning an outfit, redoing you hair for the 100th time or trying to achieve the perfect 'no-makeup makeup' look for a certain someone. today we’re here to tell you you’re not alone!
i need to confront them but i don't know how
tricky conversations is the topic today! whether it's a partner, friend, colleague or neighbour, difficult chats are part of life. so let's not shy away from them – if you hate conflict or confrontation we hope this episode gives you some help navigating those 'crucial' conversations.
i feel like i'm in competition for a friend
have you ever heard someone else call YOUR best friend THEIR best friend!!!??? in this episode we talk about those defensive, territorial feelings that creep up on you when your friend suddenly appears to have another close mate. whatever the situation, we talk about the reality of competing for a friend and how to stop feeling the need to prove yourself.
i feel pressure to drink
this episode is a bit of a different one as we talk about the pressures around drinking. whether you're teetotal or love a drink we hope this episode encourages you reflect on your relationship with alcohol!
i've lost my friend to their relationship
a new relationship can come with all sorts of things to navigate but today we're specifically talking about how to balance your boyfriend with your bestie. join us as we share the ins and outs of having to work through this new season of friendship and how we've adapted to the change.
help! i don't look good in anything i wear
anyone else struggle to find clothes they feel confident in? today we’re discussing fashion fails, the struggle to find clothes that fit well and our own personal style journeys. whether you're an absolute fashionista or you couldn't care less, sit back and enjoy!
i don't get on with my best friend's boyfriend
it’s not just you who can struggle to connect with a friend's significant other. sometimes it's a clash of personalities, sometimes they’re not treating your mate well & sometimes you just find them straight up annoying! if you relate to any of the above then this conversation is for you.
i'm never going to be beautiful enough
anyone else feel like it's impossible to keep up with the ever changing beauty standards for women? it’s exhausting to try and keep track of what’s ‘trending’ and match what the media says we 'should' look like. join us for an honest conversation with zo ross–waddell where we share our personal battles and discuss the way we need to learn to accept our appearance. who we are is more important than
i think i'm catching feels
we're back !!! to kick off season 2, we're going to be talking about the 5 signs that you've caught feelings for someone. whether you've just met or you’ve realised you have feelings for a friend you've known for years, this episode is the one for you!
six questions to ask yourself before the new year
join us for a big old reflection on the last year. we talk hopes, fears, relationships and everything in between as we prepare to enter 2024. listen along and answer the questions yourself!
i find christmas quite hard
we love christmas but know it can be a hard time of year for loads of different reasons. join us as we get real about all things christmas related; from not knowing what to gift your dad, to struggling with being single at christmas time, to missing those who can't be with us to celebrate.
i’m in my 20’s and everything keeps changing
anyone else feel as though there 20’s are full of change? whether it's friendships, living situations or work, things can feel like they're all over the place! join us as we chat about the unsettling nature of the 20’s and try to work out how we can embrace change.
i like my friends more than they like me
have you ever wondered if your friends secretly hate you? or whether they're just not as invested in your friendship as you are? you're not the only one! let's chat about how we can become more secure in our friendships.
why am i so embarrassing
we’re #cringing because today we’re talking about our most embarrassing moments. join us as we share humiliating stories from our past and chat about those small, everyday things that can feel completely and utterly cringe worthy!
i'm 24 and i've never had a boyfriend
this episode is for all you girls who've never dated before! it's not just you who's wondered if you're the only one or if there's something wrong with you?! soph discusses why she's never had a boyfriend and we conclude it's really not that strange.
what not to do on a first date
let's talk failed dates, dream first date experiences, our different approaches to dating and the little things a guy can do to make a date extra special. has to be said, this is one of our fave episodes yet!
i'm tired of having fomo
the fear of missing out is so real. when you can’t make social plans or you’re just too tired to hang out, it can be so hard to watch on from afar! how can we can we overcome fomo and stop letting fear dictate the decisions we make?
is it weird to stalk someone on social media?
it's not just you who's done a deep dive on someone's social media and wondered if it's weird. have you ever met someone in person and already known random details about their life from their instagram?! or found yourself scrolling through someone’s tagged pictures from 10 years ago. in this episode we're discussing the weird and wonderful world of social media and hoping someone out there can rel
how do i show a guy i like him?
it's not just you who doesn't know how to flirt. that's right, in this episode we're chatting all things: flirting. how do you make it clear you're interested in someone without cringing yourself out?! join us as we die of embarrassment discussing this topic and conclude we don't have a clue.
i don't want to share my best friend
please say we’re not the only ones who’ve struggled seeing their bestie have other close friends?! it’s pretty gross to admit but it sometimes we can get a little possessive over our friends. we hope this chat is one you can relate to!
am i the only one who feels alone?
have you ever found yourself surrounded by people yet still felt alone? maybe you’ve just started uni or moved to a new city and feel like you haven’t found ‘your people’ yet. or maybe you’re got plenty of great people around you but sometimes wonder who actually knows me? loneliness is a very real feeling and today we want to chat about it!
what should i be doing in my twenties?
should i be travelling the world or settling down? should i be spending my money or saving for the future? should i be single or starting to think about getting married? in this episode we're chatting all things: 20s! whether you're loving your 20s, hating them, or just finding them a little confusing, we're here to say: it's not just you.
do i look as good as my friends?
have you ever looked at a mate and felt like they're way better looking than you? have you ever wished you could look more like someone else? in this episode we talk comparison, beauty standards, boys and how we can try and be secure in our appearance, exactly as we are!
i just got rejected by the guy i like
it's not just you who's been pied off by the guy you're interested in! today we’re talking about those vulnerable moments where you put yourself out there, you share your feelings and sadly things just aren’t reciprocated. how do you stop yourself from going into a hole of despair?!
we used to be friends and now we’re not
there's a lot of chat about romantic breakups, but what happens when a close friendship breaks down?! whether it's a result of an argument, a friend moving away or just gradual distancing over time, losing a friendship can feel so hard! when do you keep on fighting for it and when do you just need to let go?
my friend's going through a breakup and idk what to do
it’s not just you that’s had to support a friend through a breakup! in this episode we discuss the reality of coming alongside someone who's going through heartbreak. how are you supposed to interact with their ex? how do you support them well as they go through a tough season?
my body's changed and i don’t like it
it's not just you who struggles with your body changing. we've all looked back on old photos and longed for our body to look like it used to. but what would it look like to focus less on our body and more on who we're becoming?!
how do i know if i'm in the right relationship?
it's not just you who's wondered if the person you're dating is totally right for you. how do you know when to make compromises (cos no one's perfect) and how do you know when someone just isn't the one? we chat about useful questions to ask yourself whilst dating!
i want to be happy for them but i just feel jealous
whether it's a job promotion, amazing grades or a brand new boyfriend it can sometime feel hard to celebrate your friend's success. what do you do when all you feel is jealousy?! in this episode we discuss those 'what about me?' thoughts and ways to try and be truly happy for those around you!
why can friendships with guys be so complicated?
it’s not just you who can find friendships with guys confusing. do i fancy them? do they fancy me?! in this episode we chat about our experience of guy friendships and share some thoughts on how we can try to make things clear!
i can't stop talking about people behind their backs
no one likes to admit it but let’s be honest, we’ve all spoken about a friend behind their back. in this episode we chat about the fact it can be sooo easy to speak unkindly about people, even our mates! the reality is, tearing other people down doesn’t actually make you feel good, so how can we stop gossiping?!
