Listen Very Carefully - The ’Allo ’Allo! Podcast
A fan podcast dedicated to the classic British sitcom ’Allo ’Allo!, hosted by cast members Kim Hartman, Guy Siner and Richard Gibson. Each episode revisits an episode of the series and offers listeners the chance to send in messages. Later episodes feature interviews with other actors and people connected with the show.
Episodes
S3 E22 Prior Engagements
Thanks to the limitless ingenuity of Michelle of the Resistance, the Airmen have been packed into wine barrels, ready to be floated down a sewer. Wait and see whether or not it will work… To make relations between the locals and the occupying forces appear cordial, Captain Bertorelli is set up to marry Edith, which he approaches with great enthusiasm. And she proves to be quite appreciative of his
S3 E21 Leg it to Spain
Kim, Guy and Richard reminisce about the recording days of ‘Allo ‘Allo!, and regularly being refused entry to the studio by the BBC Jobsworths. Kim and Richard recall their unacceptable behaviour as teenaged bartenders, and Guy remembers going to a party with an elephant.
S3 E20 The Spirit of Nouvion
The women of the town are dressed in their finest as they compete to be the Spirit of Nouvion pin-up in the local paper. Lots of fun in the cellar as Flick and Helga have a lovers’ tiff and let rip at each other. John Louis Mansi as von Smallhausen surpasses himself in this episode, especially with this sinister impression of Peter Lorre. Meanwhile, in the office, Gruber reluctantly defeats the Co
S3 E19 The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic
Flick and von Smallhausen are finally rescued from the monastery by Helga, who whisks them away on an enormous tricycle. The chat around Kim’s table covers a generous range of topics, including General von Klinkerhoffen in stockings and suspenders. Someone in the make-up department has given Monsieur Alphonse’s moustache and eyebrows a sprightly extra twirl this week. Michelle of the Resistance sh
S3 E18 Up the Crick Without a Piddle
Despite having no memory of this episode at all, Kim, Guy and Richard soon warm up to it, and all agree it is one of the very best episodes in the entire series. There is a surprise appearance from the late, great Sam Kelly, reprising his role as Hans – only this time he is working for British Intelligence, and the whole episode is helped along by some stirling performaces from a range of guest ar
S3 E17 Fleeing Monks
Any mention of monks in this show is sure to feature scourging, and the writers do not disappoint. Helga arrives on a large tricycle at the monastery where Flick and von Smallhausen are held captive. The Germans have awarded René a medal for bravery, which does not make him popular in the town – even the pigeons have taken against him, and have rewarded Edith with an unpleasant deposit. The Airmen
S3 E16 An Almighty Bang
Now that the old couple have finally landed back on earth, they find themselves trapped behind a wall and have to be released by Monsieur Alphonse with some gelignite. Flick and von Smallhausen get caught in the crossfire and are blown to shreds once again. Gruber and von Flockenstuffen have cpmpleted the improvements to the Colonel’s office, and it is now a delightful shade of coral pink. Kim del
S3 E15 A Quiet Honeymoon
Welcome once again to Kim’s kitchen, where we settle in to watch the start of a new season – a year on from the last podcast. We take our hats off to the new writer, Paul Adam, who has taken over from David Croft for this series. The old couple, Fanny and Ernest, come down to earth after floating away on their bed, powered by a helium balloon, then take off on a stolen motorbike. Gruber and the hi
S3 E14 Rising to the Occasion
As Fanny and Ernest are towed out of the church – still in their bed – after their wedding, the two airmen are looking as lovely as ever in their bridesmaids’ dresses and moustaches. Kim shows us a delightful model of Flick and Helga, made by a fan. As usual, there is much talk of the road trip to Norfolk, which had so far not materialised, but looks to be getting closer all the time. Von Smallhau
S3 E13 Crabtree’s Pogeon Pist
This week’s pod celebrates the outstanding comic talent of Derek Royle, who plays Ernest Leclerc, the brother of Roger, played superbly by the late Jack Haig. We are treated to the usual Gruber back passage references. Von Smallhausen is starting to get a bit above himself – making hay while Helga is away. Another stunning corset for Helga, as she joins Herr Flick in pratfalls in the dungeon. Crab
S3 E12 The Crooked Fences
The sun is shining and the door to the garden is wide open. Just the weather for a cooling glass of Prosecco. Around Kim's table, the chat, as ever, covers the whereabouts of the famous painting. Plenty of shenanigans as René collaborates with the Germans in trying to convert the stolen gold into cash, including masquerading as a priest in the confessional. Crabtree gets a girlfriend, Derek Royle
S3 E11 The Airmen de-Nicked
This week’s frlolics in Nouvion, witnessed by Kim, Guy and Richard, involve a secret winking code between Gruber and René. Flick and von Smallhausen, after being arrested, are forced to drag their chains and carry their balls. Helga has another spectacular bedroom scene – this time with Bertorelli – which does not please Herr Flick one bit. Potty Corner is officially launched, with a limerick each
S3 E10 The Nouvion Oars
More merriment in Kim’s kitchen. Laughs aplenty in Fanny’s bedroom as Michelle sets up a radio disguised as a dummy buzzard. Some might say it was not the only buzzard in the room... There is a lot of splashing about as the whole town takes to the local lake for another of the Resistance’s hare-brained schemes. Richard recounts a schoolboy prank, involving a pack of beagles and an aniseed trail.
S3 E9 The Gestapo for the High Jump (2)
Rene opens the episode with a massage. As his ankles disapear behind is ears, who should come in but – you guessed it – Lieutenant Gruber. Outstanding makeup effects as the café staff disguise themselves with the help of the make-up artists of the horror star Boris Karloff. Georgio the cat makes an appearance in Kim's kitchen, while two lovebirds canoodle beak to beak outside the window. Lots of f
S3 E8 The Gestapo for the High Jump
It’s anyone's guess why this episode is called The Gestapo for the High Jump, as there is very little Gestapo, and even less high jumping, but perhaps there were once some scenes that have since been cut. Interspersed with behind-the-scenes yarns, the Peasants share fond memories of the days when domestic holidays were the norm, and en-suite batrooms were not. Listen out for some observations on
S3 E7 Desperate Doings in the Graveyard
The more sharp-eyed of our viewers will notice change in the appearance of Monsieur Leclerc. With the loss of Jack Haig between series, his place has been taken by the magnificent farceur, Derek Royle, in the role of his brother, Ernest, and a mighty fine job he makes of it. A high spot of this episode is the magnificent swahbuckling sword fight between Royle and Kenneth Connor, which showcasess t
S3 E6 All in Disgeese
Talk in the kitchen turns, as it must from time to time, to sausages – Gorden’s handling of them, and the fact that the saucy innuendo and naughty sight gags went over the heads of the children watching. When Gruber commandeers Helga’s uniform, the patrons of the café are treated to another of her spectacular corsets.
S3 E5 Down the Drain
Gathered once more around the kitchen table, the talk turns to Kim’s vexation, lasting 40 years, at being cut from this episode, while Richard learns that he too has been excised. But they manage to put on a brave face, and are soon chuckling at Monsieur Alphonse, whose dicky ticker and tricky truss are put under strain as the ladies of the cafe appear in their scanties. Gruber does not relish sea
S3 E4 Wedding Bloss
Interesting episode this week, as David Croft aand Jeremy Lloyd stood aside to welcome two new writers – John Chapman and Ian Davidson. The trio discuss slight differences in style, and the verdict overall is deemed to be positive. Much hilarity at Kim’s kitchen table as Guy treats us to impressions of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and a horse. Gorden deftly covers a minor setback, and the team d
S3 E3 An Enigma Variation
As we reach the 50th episode, agreement is unanimous that the writers Croft and Lloyd are on top form. At a ball for the generals, attended by all the regular characters, Mimi is hidden in a double bass case, while Yvette hides with Monsieur Alphonse in the piano – forcing his dicky ticker into overdrive. Flick and von Smallhausen, disguised as maids, display their pretty ankles, and René risks be
S3 E2 Train of Events
In this TV episode, the actors are squashed on to a train set (not a trainset, though not much bigger), and talk about the fun of miming rolling carriages. Richard, believing his scenes were all pre-filmed, plays truant from the studio on a holiday with his fiancée, and Is forced to make a breakneck journey to get back for an unscheduled scene. Guy recounts working with Johnny Depp, and lots of fu
S3 E1 Flight to Geneva
After a lengthy hiatus, Kim, Guy and Richard are overjoyed to find themselves back in the studio – or kitchen as some people call it – together with Ron and the cats. Subjects under discussion range from marvelling at Gorden’s delivery of his opening monologue, to Kim flipping her knickers on to a hatstand, and an encounter with the New Zealand police while on tour with Su Pollard from Hi de Hi!
Bonus Episode – Willing Spirits Pilot
Now that the podcast is on a short hiatus at the end of Season 2, we bring you a bonus episode – Willing Spirits, a the pilot for a radio sitcom that we created during lockdown, using smartphones and zoom. The cast was scattered across the globe, from Australia to Kent, via Herfordshire and the Cotswolds. This presented a number of challenges, and the quality is not as polished as it would be had
S2 E20 Land Mines for London
Gathered around Kim’s table once again, the Peasants talk about Kim removing Richard’s trousers, sharing a jacuzzi with the red hot 1980s’ band Curiosity Killed the Cat, and many other matters of world importance. As they toast the final episode of Season 2 of the podcast with a glass of Prosecco (any excuse), Richard is made to drink his from a plastic cup, as he is not to be trusted with glass.
S2 E19 Puddings Can Go Off
Plenty of the usual lively chat from Kim’s kitchen. Monsieur Leclerc puts in a brief appearance as an exploding pudding seller, but is ejected before he has a chance to speak. In a scene involving Lieutenant Gruber, the writers are powerless to resist a “they eat faggots for breakfast gag”. Kim’s unusually tanned complexion and the liveliness of the acting hint at a recent break from filming. Disg
S2 E18 Money to Burn
The episode commences with a duet from René and Edith. Needless to say, one of them is more in tune than the other. The airmen, concealed in a pair of large mines, are being trained in how to release themselves in mid-air by unscrewing their nuts. Once again, despite elaborate groundwork by Michelle of the Resistance, things do not go according to plan. In the kitchen, Kim’s hospitality towards h
S2 E17 Going Like a Bomb
René has arrived at the café still wearing his hospital gown after last week's escapade. The fun starts right away as Gruber makes an entrance, and René tries to avoid turning around. Flick orders von Smallhausen to be smuggled into the mortuary, disguised as a corpse, Bertorelli’s trousers are used to hide the money, and the Colonel impersonates a French peasant on the telephone. Despite starting
S2 E16 The Exploding Bedpan
The Peasants have to persuade themselves to come in from Kim and John's sunlit garden to record this week’s pod. But it turns out to be no hardship, as the episode gallops along. Monsieur Alphonse finds himself in Herr Flick's cellar, being questioned by Helga in connection with the money from the bank robbery. But the sight of her stocking tops is too much for his dicky ticker, and he soon finds
S2 E15 A Duck for Launch
Life doesn't get any simpler for René – as ever. While the long-distance duck is made ready for launch, carrying microfilm of the German plan for the invasion of England, she produces a clutch of ducklings. As the Colonel and Gruber divvy up the bank robbery money, Helga takes exception to being short changed over her share. Out in the town square, Crabtree orders a pound of “wonkles” from Flick a
S2 E14 – The Reluctant Millionaires
Life doesn't get any simpler for René – as ever. While the long-distance duck is made ready for launch, carrying microfilm of the German plan for the invasion of England, she produces a clutch of ducklings. As the Colonel and Gruber divvy up the bank robbery money, Helga takes exception to being short changed over her share. Out in the town square, Crabtree orders a pound of “wonkles” from Flick a
S2 E13 Ribbing the Bonk
The team marvel at the inventiveness of the writers, David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd, who had to deliver a continuous series of 26 episodes with no outside help. The scale of the task boggles the mind, and yet there is tons of plot, gags aplenty, and lots of disguises. These include, once again, Mimi and Herr Flick in prams, dressed as unlikely babies, pushed by René in the garb of a priest and Helga
S2 E12 Who's for the Vatican?
Following the fiasco in the previous episode involving the mix-up with the generals and their disguises, Gruber and the Colonel are in big trouble with the top brass, and make a plan to hide out in the Vatican until after the war. Needless to say, things do not quite go according to plan. As René makes himself handy with some bricklaying, Guy and Richard recall their days doing building work in be
S2 E11 Confusion of the Generals
As René puts it in his opening speech, it is just a normal Tuesday in wartorn France. After nearly blowing Herr Flick to smithereens, he prepares to flee Nouvion, but is saved at the last minute by Lieutenant Gruber. Herr Flick, following his ordeal, is in bandages and chains – which Helga wastes not time in yanking. Yvette and Michelle of the Resisitance have a heart-to-heart about their feelings
S2 E10 René Under an Assumed Nose
In spite of Bertorelli’s efforts with his pistol in the previous episode, the homing duck turns out not to be dead – just having a little rest. Monsieur Alphonse attempts to take its temperature in an intimate fashion, and is rewarded with a faceful of feathers. There is high entertainment when the duck turns out to be a she, and lays an egg in Fanny’s bed. René masquerades as a French general, co
S2 E9 Watch the Birdie
Welcome once more to Kim’s kitchen, where there is fun to be had with René and the staff, trying as ever to please the Resistance as well as the Germans. In the mcourse of a summit meeting at the chateau of a collection of German generals, René has been ordered by Michelle to photograph a map of their planned invasion, using a prosthetic arm and a little knob under his apron. Kim, Guy and Richard
S2 E8 The Arrival of the Homing Duck
Plenty to chat about, as ever, starting with respectful recognition of a dazzling performance by the duck. After recording so many episodes, the tripod realise that there are moments they have completely forgotten, and are watching them as though for the first time. Mimi does an oiutstanding turn in the café, with high kicks and tapping, to thunderous applause. To escape the Communist Resistance,
S2 E7 No Hiding Place
Following their slightly lukewarm review of the previous episode, the trio are back in fan mode. René attempts to leave the country disguised as an ancient Jehovah’s Witness, which fools no one, but offers the opportunity for a Jack Haig impression. Gruber and Helga get into disguise as a pimp and his lady, in a plan to protect René in his complicated relationship with the Communist Resistance. Ca
S2 E6 A Marriage of Inconvenience
Kim and Richard begin by suggesting that this was not the best episode ever. Guy challenges them robustly, and after finding plenty to talk about, the tripod agrees that it is pretty good after all. René and Edith reminsce about their early romance, and how she was the most beautiful girl in the town – in fact, the only girl in the town. There is the capture of René by the Communist Resistance, an
S2 E5 Otherwise Engaged
Crabtree is is caught up in the demolition of the town convenience, and we are treated to a glimpse of an evening at home with the Flicks. Phoebe Scholfield, who usually plays Henriette – stalwart member of the Maquis Resistance – seems to have changed sides, and appears this week with the Communists. The production team do not seem to have noticed… The airman have some solid scenes this week, whi
S2 E4 The Dreaded Circular Saw
Much to enjoy this week. Kim marvels at the pace of Gorden’s opening monologue, and declares it an example of dynamic playing for all actors. She also pretends not to get excited about the numbering of the podcasts. Kim and Guy notice for the first time that this episode marks the beginning of a romance between Helga and Gruber that will eventually result in marriage and children. Boohoo Herr Flic
S2 E3 Dinner with the General
Despite the fact that his episode is entitled Dinner with the General, there is very little talk either of Dinner or the General. Instead the chat covers a range of topics, loosely around the making of 'Allo ‘Allo! – including a fire practice at the studio with the cast of Doctor Who, and the madness of working on the tv series by day and onstage in the West End by night. Guy proves himself to be
S2 E2 The Camera in the Potato
What better setting for an episode about a potato than Kim's kitchen? The usual fun and laughter, as the trio are joined by Ron Hartman for vital insights. Gruber is surprised in his bath by René, as Helga lets down her hair for Herr Flick. Kim tells of her first theatre job as a smoke squirter and mouse puller, and Richard and Guy discuss their first encounters with the paparazzi. Meanwhile, Edit
S2 E1 Desperate Doings in the Dungeon
Following the success of the first Listen Very Carefully season, this episode introduces the much-awaited Season 2. While the podsters talk about the Desperate Doings in the Dungeon, Kim’s kitchen transitions into a studio, as the pod launches for the first time on video as well: https://www.youtube.com/@HelgaGruberFlick/videos
Viewers are treated to the sight of both René and Herr Flick chained t
Bonus Episode – Gorden Kaye Interview
We present a special bonus episode, sent to us by Christopher Beswick, of a full-length interview he conducted with Gordon Kaye in 1991, when he had returned to work following his life-threatening accident.
S1 E28 The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law
This episode marks the end of Season One, and we celebrate with a surprise guest and a “guess the mystery voice” game. Although this episode is called the Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law, no one can decide what the episode is actually about – as we encounter the people from the café treading grapes, and various other antics around Nouvion – as well as von Smallhausen savouring his rare moments of reve
S1 E27 The Sausage in the Trousers
The podders attempt to keep track of the sausages. After the first twenty they give up, exhausted. Kim entertains with a tale of pranks on tour. Christian Dyall gets a bit of worship for his imaginative and lavish costumes. But where is the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies? Did the writers even know?
S1 E26 The Flying Nun
As Mimi takes to the skies as an airborne nun, it is an astounding week for cast impressions. Guy treats us to a Bertorelli, as well as a Michelle of the Resistance, and Kim delivers a terrifyingly realistic von Smallhasuen. A double disguise for Herr Flick – first as a gypsy playing the fiddle with gloves on – then into Helga's uniform to fool no one as Frau Kinkenrotten. Kim entertains with a ta
S1 E25 Good Staff Are Hard to Find
This week, despite distractions from Alexa, a photographer called Rowan and a bottle of Prosecco, Kim, Guy and Richard maintain their usual level of sober professionalism while discussing the episode in which the new characters of Captain Bertorelli and Mimi la Bonq are introduced.
S1 E24 Camp Dance
Is there such a thing as an episode-numbering nerd? Or geek? Or both? Question: Who literally cares which season or blinkin' episode this is? Answer: Kim, as well as some of the show's most militant archivists. Anyway, this is Pod 24, and the fun starts long before we unveil our literally special guest. Tune in and meet her/him/them. The series says farewell to Sam Kelly as Hans, as he is catapult
S1 E23 Prisoners of War
The committee starts to get strict about overuse of the word "wonderful" – which is likely to have little effect. More fun and frolics in the prison camp, and the trio celebrate the rare privilege of seeing Richard Marner do the Can Can, Gruber dressed as a nun, and Helga singing a long-overdue Lili Marlene.
S1 E22 The Great Unescape
Amid panto reminiscences from our pod trio (tripod), we discover that Fanny's pet name for her lover van Gogh was Bobby. While Guy and Richard get all knowing about the McGuffin device in detective stories, Kim insists it is a burger chain meal deal. They discuss the lengths that some performers will go to in order to secure a close-up, including gaining access to the camera scripts (some of them
S1 E21 Pretty Maids All in a Row
British airmen dressed as ladies of the night; Maria and Yvette disguised as ancient crones; a melodramatic fake murder scenario during a flamenco performance by Edith in the café; a plan to smuggle the airmen into the prison camp via a tunnel from the mortuary; a priceless van Gogh that has been hanging unnoticed in the café and turns out to have been a gift from the painter to Fanny during a pas
S1 E20 The Gâteau from the Château
More nuggets from Kim’s kitchen, as the trio mull over the events of the double-length Christmas Special – involving attempts from all sides to bump off General von Klinkerhoffen. Sam Kelly receives a well-deserved round of applause from the studio audience for his virtuoso speech about “the pill in the till, the drug in the jug and the Gateau from the Chateau”. There is talk of a crashing air bal
S1 E19 Flight of Fancy
Now that René has recovered the painting, Michelle plans to catapult the airman away in a glider, using elastic from men's braces. But collecting them in the dead of night presents yet another problem for the long-suffering café owner. A runaway steamroller flattens Herr Flick's staff car, which is only insured third-party. As the village clock chimes eight outside Kim' cottage, it's time for our
S1 E18 The Fallen Madonna
Rene is busy in the cellar, bricking up the painting, while Flick and Helga have their first date in the back room. But this episode is well out of order – it was the third one of the series, instead of the 18th, but who really cares anyway? The Big Boobies get their first mention, accompanied by an on-air mime, and the team are impressed by the modest grace of Carmen's movement.
S1 E17 The Sausage in the Wardrobe
Maria is sent to Gruber's quarters at the chateau with the real Fallen Madonna for him to copy, but is intercepted by von Klinkerhoffen. René and Edith, and the Colonel and Hans infiltrate the chateau to steal back the painting, and a suit of armour with a distinctive limp joins the trail. Helga performs the strip of a lifetime – causing Kim to put her back out.
S1 E16 Gruber Does Some Mincing
Monsieur Alphonse’s ransom loan is repaid in notes forged by Monsieur Leclerc, as the Resistance smuggle out the motor from General von Klinkerhoffen's lawn mower in Madame Fanny's wheelchair. Gruber’s little tank makes its debut with its feeble little horn, while its owner is delivered to Herr Flick’s cellar rolled up in a carpet. Anna Stubley gets a special mention for her magnificent costumes,
S1 E15 The Nicked Knockwurst
Rene delivers his opening monologue from the bath, Monsieur Alfonse slurps his soup and passes out, Madame Fanny fits four in her bed, and Paul Cooper makes his debut as Herr Flick’s tailor. When the knockwurst is snatched by Gruber’s dog, the chase turns into one of the most outlandish horizon shots of the series.
S1 E14 Herr Flick's Revenge
Once again, the team claims this as a favourite episode. The classic dungeon scene features Herr Flick on his mighty organ, as Helga lets down her hair and turns the wheel to bring the ceiling down on their captives. Gorden supplies a severed head in the rehearsal room, and John D Collins knocks himself out and breaks both ankles. Meanwhile, Monsieur Alphonse’s wooing of Madame Edith continues una
S1 E13 The Duel
More fun and laughter as we discover Edith selling tickets to the duel between Rene and Monsieur Alphonse, Helga trying to eat peas while handcuffed, share tales of von Smallhausen’s beginnings in a strip club, and hear of the origins of a famous catchphrase.
S1 E12 The Policeman Cometh
This week’s pod introduces our first surprise guest – guaranteed to entertain.
S1 E11 Swiftly and with Style
Monsieur Alphonse challenges Rene to a duel, Monsieur Leclerc nicks knickers, and a cow rides by on a tandem.
S1 E10 The Wooing of Widow Artois
This week’s round-table discussion brings news of a famous fan, while Guy pulls a face for the listeners and the King calls Kim a ghastly creature.
S1 E9 Six Big Boobies
The talk this week around Kim's table turns to the three Fallen Madonnas and all their attributes, and Edith's search for a new husband. Tribute is paid to Secret Army, on which 'Allo 'Allo! was based.
S1 E8 The Dance of the Hitler Youth
As this week's chat takes in a rare sighting of Rene's back passage and Kenn Oldfield's inspired choreography, the whereabouts of the Fallen Madonna begins to get complicated.
S1 E7 Reds Nick Colonel
Welcome, once again, to Kim's kitchen, where the convivial chat covers subjects as diverse as the Colonel's vanishing pistol and Marie Antoinette's bosom.
S1 E6 The Funeral
This week's pod brings more stories and observations about Episode 5. Kim laughs at Richard being pranked in the now classic clods of earth scene, and the team fan worship Kenneth Connor – not for the last time.
S1 E5 The Execution
Kim, Guy and Richard bring plenty more chat, stories from the 'Allo 'Allo! coalface, and some extra content in reply to a listener's message about Rose Hill and her singing. If you enjoy it, please encourage your friends to follow us.
S1 E4 Savile Row to the Rescue
Kim, Guy and Richard pay tribute to the composer and musical director, Roy Moore, celebrate the arrival of Hilary Minster as General von Klinkerhoffen and a flying tailor, and enjoy some exploding chickens.
S1 E3 Pigeon Post
Kim is joined in her kitchen once again by Guy and Richard, and an appearance by her husband, John, brings with it a special bottle of gin...
S1 E2 The British are Coming
In this second podcast, Kim, Guy and Richard talk about the pilot episode, and share their favourite moments and observations on the other members of the cast, the set, the costumes, and their hopes for the future of the series.
S1 E1 Introduction to the Series
This first podcast, hosted by Kim, Guy and Richard gives an introduction to the series, how it came to be made, and how we all came to be in it. We will be launching a new pod each week, in which we will look at another episode, and talk about anything that comes up. There may even be the occasional laugh.
