
Things Musicians Don't Talk About
Hattie Butterworth and Rebecca Toal host a podcast about the hidden realities of life in classical music and the arts. Each episode tackles subjects that are rarely discussed openly, including mental health, physical injury, discrimination and the pressure to be endlessly productive. Through interviews with guests, the show mixes personal testimony with practical insight and moments of vulnerability. The aim is to open up classical music's culture and offer comfort, solidarity and change for those working in the profession.
Episodes

113. Empower: Hannah Seymour and Sinéad Walsh
What happens when two young musicians decide to create the opportunities they can't find elsewhere? Sinead and Hannah, founders of Empower, join us to talk about building a platform for women in music from the ground up – from a student concert during the pandemic to a growing organisation supporting performers and composers. They discuss ambition, advocacy, funding, burnout and the challenge

112. AI: the final blow for classical music?
Ending careers or enhancing performance, where will AI lead us next and who will monitor its impact?We speak to experts Daniel Lewis and Florian Koempel about their thoughts and observations on the boom of AI, including how it will affect commissioning and programming in the future. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

111. Jessica Duchen: activism, power and politics
We couldn't be more pleased to be releasing this interview with legendary journalist Jessica Duchen. Hosted in her beautiful home, we speak about her path into writing, how personal challenges have affected her outlook on life and journalism, and her decision to no longer be "muzzled". Her commitment to uncovering classical music's uncomfortable truths has resulted in some iconic articles, includi

110. The future of TMDTA
This was never going to be a fun episode to make. After some months of sitting on this decision, we are sharing with you the news that TMDTA will come to an end in June after six years of beautiful conversations. In this episode, Becca and I discuss the reasons why and look back over the six years. Thank you thank you for all your incredible love and support – we are so grateful for this community

109. Surviving ballet: Louise Bennett on change in the industry
What REALLY goes on in the world of ballet and specialist ballet schools? And how different is it to the world of classical music and what can we learn from ballet dancers as musicians?Louise Bennett is a former ballet dancer and Artistic Director of the London Vocational Ballet School. She Hattie and Becca about the current climate within ballet, experience at the Royal Ballet School, as well as

108. The Break Down: predicting, reflecting, replying.
Hattie has "trouble in everything", Becca has been living the Lady of Leisure lifestyle. They look back at 2016, forwards to 2026, and reply to an email from a reader/listener who reached out about feeling gaslit by their music college professor. -------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follo

107. Thangam Debbonaire & Eleanor Turner: The Political Musician | Live at RSM
What role do musicians play in the political landscape? And how safe do they feel about speaking out without damaging their career prospects? In this episode, live from the Royal Society of Musicians, Hattie and Rebecca are joined by cellist and former Labour MP Thangam Debbonaire and harpist and activist Eleanor Turner. They explore the barriers musicians face to championing their political cause

106. Lizzie Ball: Classical Music for Contemporary Society
We bring you a special filmed episode from Ronnie Scott's legendary London jazz club where we speak with the fabulous Lizzie Ball. Alongside pianist James Pearson, Lizzie will be curating the much-anticipated classical series Upstairs at Ronnie’s. We chat about the series, and then onto Lizzie's backstory of becoming an improvising violinist, coaching musicians with performance anxiety, and what c

105. Dr Anna Bull: class and classical music
Dr. Anna Bull is a Senior Lecturer in Education and Social Justice, Co-director of The 1752 Group and a former professional pianist and cellist. We return to Zoom to speak with her about class and socioeconomic issues in the classical music industry, and pick her brains about what, if anything, can be done. She also tells us about her work on sexual harassment in music conservatoires, and why the

104. The Break Down: Depression, donors and misogyny
Trigger Warning: suicidal ideation from 13:50 to 18:00Is it ethical that musicians feels 'owned' or controlled by their donors? Today in The Break Down, we are discussing philanthropy in classical music and opera, Hattie's recent experience of depression and the strife of misogyny, sadly still in some of Rebecca's orchestral experiencesWatch this episode on Youtube here.---------------------------

103. The Break Down: Saudi Arabia, Hopelessness & Activism
Welcome to our rebranded 'chatty episodes' - now, with middling irony and an exaggerated sense of self-awareness, called The Break Down.Hattie brings our Classical Strife newsletter segment to the podcast, we chat about The Met x Saudi Arabia's hot new #collab, we dis/agree on activism, and come to the usual conclusion that mental health is difficult.Like, subscribe, review (if it's nice), and sha

102. Ophelia Gordon: living though anorexia and divorce
Words hold huge power, and for a long time the word 'anorexia' felt dirty to pianist Ophelia Gordon. First experiencing its wrath while studying at the BRIT School and watching her parents' divorce unravel her life, anorexia would return two years ago when Ophelia separated from her husband. She joins Hattie and Rebecca to uncover the story of her eating disorder, the trauma of divorce and the way

101. Jessica Curry: when things fall apart
'If it could have gone wrong it has gone wrong'. The last five years for Jessica Curry, a composer of contemporary classical game music, has been marked by severe illness and personal loss. She joins Hattie and Becca on Things Musicians Don't Talk About to share her journey being diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis and subsequently shielding during the pandemic. She explains the emotional toll o

100. We listened to our old episodes… and immediately regretted it
We have reached episode 100 and so decided, as a celebration, we'd take a wee look back... we might now regret it! Listen as we react to the first episode we made together, now over four years ago! Becca also tests Hattie on five years of hot takes – who said what and when?Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X&nb

99. Lauren McQuistin: eating disorders in classical music (live)
*Trigger warning: discussion of eating disorders, alcoholism, addiction*From our live event at the Royal Society of Musicians on 22nd May 2025Lauren McQuistin has been running the Instagram account @brutalrecovery for years now. Her advocacy for honest recovery discourse has resonated with many alcoholics, particularly with her with her trademark eloquence and dry humour. Lauren now shares her exp

98. Performative workaholism, surviving criticism and intuitive eating
Hattie and Becca discuss the need for many creatives to prove themselves to others online, often sharing data about their work. Do we need a structure and numeric guide for practice or can it be intuitive? And how does this link to intuitive eating? They also go on to discuss the complexities of dealing with criticism, where that sensitivity comes from and how Hattie copes with empathy for perform

97. Jamie Barton: embodying pride
Mezzo-soprano Jamie Barton has been fighting the corner of the marginalised in classical music now for over 10 years. From a marriage breakdown to a queer awakening and struggles with learning repertoire, Jamie joins Hattie and Becca to discuss her experiences as a queer woman in America and her journey to discovering her ADHD. She also shares powerful insights into body positivity, her approach t

96. Back again, but different
Entering our YouTube era...! And we're talking about returning to things we didn't expect to: Hattie to America and Becca to the harp. We also have a good ol' think about child prodigies, faith and praying, and Becca obsesses further about JULY. We've got some absolutely stellar interviews lined up for release, so stay tuned.Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of

95. Meditation for musicians: calming the inner critic
After a performance we term as 'bad', it can be difficult to return to a sense of confidence in our playing. In this fourth mediation, Ruth Philips leads a meditation to disarm the inner critic and restore a sense of peace and acceptance in our performing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

94. Meditation for musicians: connecting with your audience
Our aim as musicians is to communicate generously and freely to our audience but we rarely turn towards ourselves with the same degree of care. In this meditation, Ruth Philips leads a loving kindness practice, exploring how it might be to extend that kindness outwards towards our audience Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

93. Meditation for musicians: reconnecting with your instrument
This meditation aims to bring you closer to your instrument and aid in healing any sense of disconnect you may be feelingDiscover Ruth Philips *Ruth Philips and Lucy Russell are running a course 'Mindfulness for Musicians' at Benslow Music from 13-15 June. More information here*-------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the R

92. Meditation for musicians: pre-performance anxiety
A meditation for musicians lead by cellist and mindfulness meditation teacher Ruth Philips for use to calm the mind around stage fright and performance anxiety. Discover Ruth Philips -------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.---------

91. I wasn’t as good at the cello as I thought I was
'On returning from America, I listened back to lots of my old recordings and discovered a paradox: I had no confidence but also thought I deserved more – thought I was better than I really was'. Hattie sits down to share reflections from her trip to America from health anxiety and Curtis, to self-love and deleting dating apps Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

90. Lucy Humphris: embracing otherness
This week we interview trumpet player Lucy Humphris about her journey through music college and the contemporary music scene. We speak about the institutional barriers Lucy and others face as a female brass player with a non-traditional career trajectory, sharing her experiences of feeling "othered" and misunderstood. From battling expectations of orchestral conformity to navigating the complex la

89. Rigid control, guilt and returning to exercise
Eating disorders and intense practice obsession have a lot in common. How do we move from an 'all or nothing' mindset to something structured and regular? Becca shares the start to her return to exercise following healing from an eating disorder and Hattie shares the parallels to the toxic relationship she has to the cello and hours of practice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more infor

88. Beyond the 'woman' conversation: Gillian Moore and CN Lester Live at RSM
There are statements made time and time again when you approach the topic of women in music: 'but historically music by men is just better', 'I'm sick of this wokeism in classical music' and 'people won't buy tickets to concerts of just women's music'. CN Lester and Gillian Moore join us live at the Royal Society of Musicians to unpack these statements and uncover the truth to performance, program

87. Emily White on grief, teaching and the joy of letting go
10 years ago trombonist Emily White lost her husband after a prolonged period of illness. She was thrown into the worlds of death admin and loneliness, but out of it discovered a perspective on what was important as a musician. She shares with Hattie and Becca an insight into her grief journey, as well as her infectious joy of teaching and hatred of the word 'should'. Emily also takes them through

86. Book Club: anti-psychiatry and doublings
Is capitalism to blame for the mental health crisis? Should we separate the art from the artist? Rebecca and Hattie have been reading non-fiction. And they are sharing two of the books with each other. Naomi Klein's Doppelganger won the Women's Prize for Non-Fiction in 2024 and has had a strong impact since it hit the bookshelves. The pressure for us to 'perform' online is overwhelming, and Becca

85. Mark Brierley on being seen, classical music marketing and the origins of RSM
Mark Brierley came to the world of classical music via journalism and without any prior knowledge of the industry. Now, as Head of Membership and Communications at the Royal Society of Musicians, he spends every day hearing from musicians about the reality of their lives. He speaks with Hattie at the RSM headquarters about the origins of the 'Fund for Decay'd Musicians', his perspectives on the in

84. Musical theatre and emotional regulation
It's Becca's turn to sit down for a solo check in with the help of some listener questions. The grief journey continues, as does the freelancing, and Becca reflects on emotional regulation, balancing her various jobs, and processing the death of an abuser.Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Fa

83. The ambition trap and entering into stagnation
Hattie sits down for a late night chat about everything on her mind this Christmas. New Year's resolutions, jealousy, musician guilt, ambition and the illusion of festivity are chaotically unpacked. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

82. Linton Stephens on living authentically with a public platform
We asked Linton Stephens to come and speak about authenticity for our first live show at the Royal Society of Musicians. A musician and broadcaster who has been naturally unapologetic about his identity in all corners of his career, living authentically is just part of Linton's everyday. But classical music's fragility means that this type of openness can be hard to find. We discuss Linton's early

81. Jalayne Mitchell: Classical Wellness
Back in February we talked with the legend, Jalayne Mitchell. It was such a special episode that we had to keep it brewing for many, many months. Jalayne has since taken a break from Classical Wellness but her message is still so vital and timely.We talk about starting an instrument 'late' and playing catch up, starting a bold project outside the norm, the paralysis of performance anxiety and cult

80. Grief, talent and ethical dilemmas
CW: death; brief mention of disordered eatingWhat happens when someone dies? How do you talk to someone who's lost a parent? What's wrong with the word 'talent'? Do you take on work that makes you uncomfortable? Why are we so scared of Freshers Week? We answer all these questions with absolute authority this week on Things Musicians Don't Talk About!Grab a cuppa, walk the dog/child, endure the com

79. The unedit: my 2017 nervous breakdown
The start of an unedited series of podcasts.TW: mental illnessHattie shares the story of her 2017 nervous breakdown and reads a blog she wrote about it back in August. She also answers questions about breakdowns and whether she worries about them returning Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

78. Matthew Barley on psychosis and healing through ayahuasca
When cellist Matthew Barley was 16 he tried to take his own life following a drug-induced psychotic episode. He then went on to channel everything into music until in 2019 the trauma of the event resurfaced.We speak to Matthew about his experience of psychosis, looking back on his experiences and the process of trauma therapy and the impact of ayahuasca. He takes us through writing music for his n

77. London Podcast Festival with Ayanna Witter-Johnson
This was a big one for Things Musicians Don't Talk About: our first live show!!!! We are so grateful to the London Podcast Festival for inviting us to take the stage with the exceptional Ayanna Witter-Johnson.Hattie and Becca talked a little bit about the conception of the podcast and their own mental health journeys, and then chatted with Ayanna about her background and career in music. Ayanna ta

76. Laure Chan: bridging cultures and breaking norms
We're back with our first interview after the summer! The brilliant Laure Chan speaks with Hattie and Becca about her cross-cultural, genre-bending creative endeavours and her journey to musical authenticity.How did Laure get into composing whilst already being an established violinist? How does she explore her own identity through the medium of music? How did her shoulder injury affect her outloo

75. Blog Special | What if I continue putting on weight forever?
Trigger warning: eating disorders, weight (no specific numbers)A different format of episode this week! Becca reads out her latest blog on her body, her identity and her fears about the possibility of a life of ‘sizing-up’.She answers some questions afterwards about the blog, talking about the male gaze, the concept of numbers in recovery and the physicality of trumpet playing.--------------------

74. Returning to places of trauma
Reflecting on recent trips back to our former music schools and colleges, we chat about the complex emotions that arise when revisiting places of past trauma. We discuss the challenges of addressing mental health in educational settings, wondering if our message is relevant to current students, and the lasting impact of architecture and locations on our wellbeing. We also explore the nuances of lo

73. Ruth Philips: non-violence and the art of rest
When cellist Ruth Philips was 29 and studying in America, she left her room as she wanted it to be found after her death. So certain was she that the performance approaching her would be the end of her life.Now, Ruth is sought after for her whole, integrative approach as a cello teacher, mindfulness practitioner and performance coach. She speaks to us about her journey towards discovering mindfuln

72. Q&A: TMDTA origins, music schools & workplace politics
We thought we'd celebrate hitting 3,000 Instagram followers as some sort of milestone in this crazy journey to cultivate much-needed honesty in the music industry! Every follower, every listener we connect with feels like a little headway in making change in the culture. In this episode, we take some time to look back on our podcast journey so far, reminiscing about how we became a duo and how TMD

71. Chloé van Soeterstède: conducting through pregnancy & motherhood
In this episode of Things Musicians Don't Talk About, Becca sits down with Chloé van Soeterstède in her dressing room at the Royal College of Music. Chloé shares her personal experiences of working as a musician alongside pregnancy and then motherhood. She walks us through her journey - from figuring out with her manager when might be the best time to get pregnant, to performing while visibly preg

70. Queerness and power abuse in classical music: Tár & Maestro
Another chatty episode for you lovely lot! This was recorded for our last Voices radio slot in February 2023. Hattie and Becca chat about queerness in classical music, exploring our opinions on the films Tár and Maestro, and how we feel power dynamics and hero-worship were portrayed in them. As we've seen over the past few decade or so, teacher-student relationships can be such a dangerous environ

69. Zygmund de Somogyi: burnout, belonging, and community in composition
This week we come to you (unintentionally) from the Royal Opera House! We speak with composer, theatre-maker, and journalist Zygmund de Somogyi about growing up with Autism Spectrum Disorder, not fitting in to the classical music world, discovering the world of composing, their experiences of imposter syndrome and feeling disconnected from the world around them. Zyggy is now studying opera composi

68. Callas, fatphobia and surviving sexual assault
TW: sexual assault we do discuss an experience of sexual assault/harassment about halfway through the episode so feel free to skip through / give this one a miss <3 We recorded this episode as part of our Voices Radio residency after the hazy summer of 2023. We took a break from the podcast for a couple of months and reflect on our individual experiences of said break. But just because *we wer

67. James Partridge: childhood nostalgia
A very Happy New Year from us at TMDTA! To kick off 2024, we have an episode recorded waaaaay back last year with the joyous James Partridge. We speak to him about his very unique career, bringing 'primary school bangers' to the masses and what life is like as a social media sensation. Why do these primary school hymns unlock 100% FEELS in us and what does James think about music education? Find o

66. Jess Hands: when music soothes
On our Voices Radio slot this month, Becca interviewed DJ Jess Hands about her experiences with mental illness and how making music has been a healing distraction from her struggles. We hear her honest account of what it's like to go through mental health crises, bipolar disorder and to get to grips with simultaneously working as a DJ. Jessica's bio:"My name is Jessica Hands, DJ name Jess Hands, a

65. Simon Höfele: breaking the norm
Welcome back! This week we speak with astounding trumpet soloist, Simon Höfele, taking a peek behind the scenes of his stunning international career to discuss the reality of it all. We chat about Simon's fortunate journey to becoming a soloist and how his ultimate love is for creating music (especially the contemporary kind), using the trumpet as a tool to achieve that. Simon also works part-time

64. Gavin Higgins: Tourettes, OCD and surviving opera
Composer Gavin Higgins found that music was the only thing calmed his severe facial tics as a young kid. After an assessment at the Maudsley Hospital, Gavin was diagnosed with Tourettes and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He was put on Prozac and told to snap a rubber band on his wrist to take away his intrusive thoughts.A lot has changed in the treatment of mental illnesses, but what's the reality

*Patreon Preview* Spooky Scary Feedback
It's our first sneaky peaky Patreon preview! Welcome through this little creaky door in the paywall to hear 5 minutes of exclusive content that we recorded last Halloween!In this episode, Hattie, Katy and Becca scare the living daylights outta themselves by reading feedback ranging from grade 8 to graduate scheme rejections. We also have a little rant about assessing music as a subjective art form

63. Koshka Duff - Abolishing the Police
This episode is dedicated to Koshka’s wonderful piano teacher, Niel Immelman, who sadly passed away since it was recorded - and who made it all possible.TW// sexual violence and assault, physical assault, police brutalityBecca first came across today's guest when she stumbled upon her collection of essays, Abolishing the Police. Philosophy professor, Koshka Duff (University of Nottingham), was lar

62. If Lewis Capaldi was a classical musician
For TMDTA's July Voices Radio appearance, Hattie and Becca discuss Lewis Capaldi's Glastonbury set and how this might translate in the classical music world. They also chat about their experiences of saying no as employees and as freelancers, Hattie's new adventures on bass guitar and Becca's new therapist. In the original show, the first half of Paul Denegri's episode played after their discussio

61. Aaron Akugbo: BBC Proms, art and identity
Our amazing friend, trumpeter Aaron Akugbo, is about to make his BBC Proms debut with the Chineke! Orchestra - but there's more to his story. Determined to be unapologetic about his identity, Aaron takes us through the weird world of brass 'lad' culture, through to the rise of Black Lives Matter and navigating the brass world as someone facing direct and indirect discrimination for being both blac

60. Paul Denegri: multi-faceted by accident
Becca catches up with her former teacher, Paul Denegri, from his stay in an old farmhouse. The humblest of the humble, Paul takes us through his journey to where he is now: revisiting his unexpected appointment as Head of Brass at Wells Cathedral School; his feelings of imposter syndrome and disillusionment with the freelance musician lifestyle; and staying true to his identity. Paul's trademark o

59. Post-nap epiphanies
Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now generously supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!The Royal Society of Musicians is Britain’s oldest music charity and our aims remain as relevant today as they were in the earliest years – to provide vital financial assistance, advice and guidance to those professionally active in the world of music but who are unable to work due to accident, illness,

58. Gosia Garstka: the stigma of suicide
Tw: Mentions of suicide and it’s preventionIn a society opening up conversations around mental health, suicide is still severely stigmatised and misunderstood. Today we meet pianist Gosia Garska who volunteers at the Listening Place - a charity set up to hold space for people struggling with suicidal thoughts and ideation.We discuss common myths around suicide, as well as how the Listening Place s

57. a May Q&A: behind the scenes of the podcast
WE PASSED OUR VOICES RADIO TRIAL! Here's our most recent episode-show where we answer beautiful questions from our Insta followers (thanks you guys!). We chit-chat about our favourite and least favourite memories of TMDTA, Father Christmas and Wendy Christmas, a slightly different origin story of the podcast, the power of sharing our stories on social media, balancing pod commitments, Becca's wet

56. Emily Ashton: on getting arrested & musical protesting
This week we speak with the inspiring Emily Ashton, baroque cellist, viola da gambist and climate activist. Emily is a founding member of XR Baroque, a group of early music environmentalists who perform at Extinction Rebellion protests. We discuss how we process the overwhelm and anxiety that come with thinking about climate change, the murkiness of being a freelance musician and staying true to y

55. Kathryn Williams: the flautist on life as a single parent & discrimination at work
On this episode, Hattie speaks with flautist Kathryn Williams, co-author of the Independent Society of Musicians's (ISM) Dignity at Work 2 study, which looked into the experiences of discrimination among those working in the music sector. They also speak about Kathryn's experiences as a single parent 11 years ago, navigating studying at the Royal Northern College of Music whilst being the sole car

54. Back by Popular Demand: arts cuts, audition burnout and performance anxiety
In this episode of Things Musicians Don't Talk About, Hattie and Becca chat from the cosiness of Hattie's new-ish house and perfect podcasting room. We have a candid conversation about the recent arts cuts and the precarity of freelancing, plus Becca's recent feelings of audition burnout, and how we've both experienced and dealt with (or not dealt with...) performance anxiety in the past.Join us a

53. Joe Hastings: Music Minds Matter
Where do musicians go for support in a crisis? For many years Help Musicians UK has been the main source of advocacy, funding and research for musicians facing crises of health and finances in the UK.In response to the increase in need for mental health support post pandemic, last autumn Help Musicians launched its subsidiary charity, Music Minds Matter to focus in on the mental health provision f

52. Ingela Onstad: on being more than 'just' a singer
Today we are coming with a fascinating episode with Ingela Onstad, who is a psychotherapist and performance coach, as well as a professional soprano.Both Rebecca and I have been interested in getting to know a musician who is also trained as a psychotherapist and were curious to understand how she deals with boundaries in her job. We explore all of this, asking for Ingela’s insight into diversifyi

51. Kate Kennedy: the biographer on how playing injury can lead to eating disorders
***This episode deals covers topics including eating disorders, mental illness and the Holocaust. Kate talks about them incredibly respectfully and not in graphic details, but for listeners that would rather sit this one out, we understand***It's our last episode of 2022 and this time, we're speaking to the exceptional Dr. Kate Kennedy, broadcaster, academic, cellist and writer, who specialises in

50. Three in A Bar: podcast twinning
This week we are coming from a North London living room with our wonderful friends from Three In A Bar Podcast. Verity Simmons (cello) and Seb Philpott (trumpet) join us for a 2-part series of collaborative podcasting and incredible company.We talk about how podcasting has altered their lives, who writes the emails, their careers and experiences as freelancers and the Three In A Bar podcast genesi

49. Katy Ehrlich: the uncut edit
Introducing our producer, the wonderful flautist Katy Ehrlich. We are so excited to introduce Katy to you all and for you to hear the journey of her incredible life, and role in the pod, through county youth orchestra to Manchester University and then to the Royal Academy of Music for masters. Katy's journey uncovers a lot of the difficulties with music college environments and we discuss how hard

48. Betty Makharinsky: on life as a singer and organising the Vache Baroque Festival
‘It’s easy to slip into a mode of being where you think your life is happening to you and you’re stuck…you think you have to carry on xyz trajectory because that’s how it’s been for so long…’ This week’s guest is the soprano Betty Makharinsky who spoke to me (Hattie) during a day of rehearsals for the charity and organisation she co-founded, Vache Baroque Festiva

47. Hannah French: living & working with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome
This episode we are sharing the space with BBC Radio 3 presenter and flautist, Hannah French. Recorded in a North London office space, we listened as Hannah explained to us her journey to a diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a collagen deficiency which affects the soft tissue and has impacted her ability to walk, play the flute and live life as she once knew it. She took us through the reality o

46. Guy Withers: behind the scenes of Waterperry Opera Festival
This week on TMDTA, Becca and Hattie chat with Guy Withers, Artistic Director, founder and CEO of Waterperry Opera Festival, about this year's upcoming festival which will celebrate it's fifth anniversary with an innovative eight-day open-air collection of eight productions in Waterperry, Oxfordshire. As usual, Becca and Hattie want to know more about what's going on behind the shiny facade of suc

45. Cliodhna Ryan: panic attacks on stage
Hattie and Rebecca are joined this week by violinist and podcaster Cliodhna Ryan. Delving into the years Cliodhna spent in the busyness of London, Cliodhna talks about her move back to Ireland and the creative projects that sprung from the move. Violinist in the Irish Chamber Orchestra, Cliodhna speaks about the realities of freelance life, as well as her experiences living with panic disorde

43. Declan Costello: vocal health and injury
Today we are joined by consultant laryngologist, voice disorders specialist and singer Declan Costello! We speak about common vocal injury among singers, the technicalities of his practice, what happens in vocal surgery and whether some injuries are irreversible. Check out Declan hereDeclan's BiographyMr Costello studied music at St John's College, Cambridge, where he was a choral schola

42. Rosie Bennet - Part 2 surviving anorexia
Trigger warning: eating disorders and mental illnessPart 2: We return to Rosie's story to hear about both the rock bottom and how she moved onwards and upwards past it. We would recommend listening to part 1 if you haven't already (released only a couple of days ago!) as this'll make a lot more sense with the rest of Rosie's story. We feel so incredibly honoured and grateful to Rosie for her time

41. Rosie Bennet - Part 1 surviving anorexia
Trigger warning: eating disorders and mental illnessPart 1: We are extremely grateful to guitarist Rosie Bennet for letting us into the nooks and crannies of her life story. We talk about Rosie's musical training and her travels all over the world, and the subsequent dark periods in her life that culminated in a breakdown during her years at music college. The way in which Rosie speaks about

40. 10k Q&A
We reached 10,000 downloads which we think sounds a lot so we did a celebratory Q&A episode! Admittedly we didn't get as many questions as we'd expected (for some reason we thought number of downloads = number of questions with no effort required ) but we still had a nice chat and an orange san pell on Hattie's bed. Thanks as ever for your support and for your continued listenership, and here'

39. Vic Isfryn: pregnancy discrimination
Oh hey there again and thanks for joining us for episode 39!I could listen to Vic talk all day, honestly. Today, we present to you our chat about life as a freelance musician parent and Vic's experiences of pregnancy discrimination - a very real but seldom talked about topic. Vic herself is an amazing trumpet player who frequently appears on TV as well as performing to a live audience. She's perfo

38. Rakhi Singh: a new path
Today we are thrilled to release our conversation with violinist and co-founder of the Manchester Collective, Rakhi Singh.Speaking with Rakhi was so joyful and restorative. We discuss her life within the Manchester Collective, how they continue to push boundaries and what ‘daring collaborations’ mean. We go on to talk about chamber music and the ways in which we can feel restricted in the definiti

37. Cara Houghton, CUKSN and Burnout
Hattie and Rebecca are joined by the chair of the Conservatoires UK Student Network, Cara Houghton to speak about their Burnout Campaign in collaboration with Healthy Conservatoires, starting this week from 21-26 March. Rebecca and Hattie go on to discuss their own experiences of burnout, the difference between mental illness and burnout and Hattie’s experience living in a convent to get away from

36. Jocelyn Lightfoot: identity and grief
Wow, what a conversation we had with Jocelyn. We discuss the London Chamber Orchestra's recent-ish decision to drop their dress code, but before we get into that we talk about her life before being appointed the Managing Director of LCO, and now the CEO of Three Worlds Group. Freelance life is a struggle at the best of times, and we are so so grateful to Jocelyn for speaking so powerfully about he

35. The One Where They Actually Record Everyone in the Same Room
This episode, Hattie and Becca are joined by BOP* Stuart Beard. They chat (unsurprisingly) about life as a freelance musician, Hattie’s big move to London, the Sunk Cost Fallacy, turning opportunities down and general other chatty topics.Listen wherever you usually get your podcasts, and if you can, please leave us a review and subscribe!*(Boyfriend of the Pod)Transcript of this episodeFollow us o

34. Frances Wilson, The Cross-Eyed Pianist
Frances Wilson, publicist and writer/blogger extraordinaire talks to Hattie and Rebecca about her blog and other work, her love of live music, lack of creative motivation in lockdown, and what it's like to get to know the artists behind the music. She is most famed for her wonderful blog, The Cross-Eyed Pianist, and her popular series of written interviews, Meet the Artist, that is about to turn 1











