Elis James and John Robins
Join the UK's youngest and most relevant broadcasters Elis James and John Robins for your twice-weekly dose of big laughs and top quality #content. Hilarious, welcoming and unashamedly ashamed, let these two best friends keep you company every Tuesday and Friday.
Episodes
#568 - Laxative Links, Wow (Cubed) and A New Low For Freezer Storage
In significant happenings John reveals the longest relationship of his life and what has caused it to break down. Namely, a Boggle addiction. We also discover the silent reality of what it’s like to be his neighbour.Elsewhere, Dave has gone to a cuddly toy exhibition in Harrogate but we plough on in his absence. However the occasion where Dave can’t cut the tension when Elis tries to prove John wr
#567 - Bilking, A Glis Glis Stakeout and Old Uncle Yogsley
It’s a very prison-based episode today, as John reveals he might be going there for petty crime, and Elis draws parallels between Albert Camus’s prison-residing outsider Meursault and Johnny JR. Was Camus foreshadowing the life of our favourite Bristol-born broadcaster?But don’t worry, it’s not all highbrow existentialism. John discovers another self-penned story on his hard drive that involves fa
#566 - The Infinite Diversion, Screaming In My Car and Hell Is Close To Stow-on-the-Wold
Robins has had a disaster. The sort of disaster that should only besiege Elis James. But what could it be? Tardiness? Something indicative of cognitive decline? Or maybe far worse?We also receive some very weak vindication for Elis after the mockery he received for his book openings, and we ask, would a 20 year old with a heavy goods vehicle licence be permitted to drive The Sportage?Got a £7 bag
#565 - Clive The Unwell, 30 Dairy Farmers and The 17:02 to Faversham
Well, well, well, well, well. Elis has officially completed the best gig of his life, and that’s even without his routine about Black Bart the pirate. A mere five and a half hours away by train, we have discovered his emotional hinterland: the Eisteddfod in Pembrokeshire.But away from the crowds, the choirs and the clog dancers, away from the druids and the dairy farmers, can our Welsh Hero handle
#564 - I Tire of You, Glowing in Welsh and Chris Edwards’ Bad Skin
The literary world has been set alight after a new best selling author was unveiled 30 years too late the other day. Is John Robins about to redefine the grounded motoring sci-fi genre for the 21st century? The first step is getting pointers from someone who’d consider 'thousands' of book sales to be small fry. Elsewhere, Elis is being consistently told how hot and sexy he is by the British p
#563 - Thatcher’s Playlist, Neil The Alien and The Bag of Digital Death
Elis may have been struggling with delayed trains, but fear not - it turns out our Producer Dave has a hotline to the Big Dog himself: Bandy Urnham. Nothing a quick phone call can’t fix…Plus, if you thought John's now-legendary Bag of Death was but a distant memory, think again, as the boys uncover the beginnings of a creative endeavour that our Thornbury wordsmith began at the age of just 13. And
#562 - The Riff Ripcord, No Joy in a Tesco and Loyal As 10,000 Dogs
John has shaken up the show at a big meeting in Elis’s absence. He should be prepared. In the meantime, comedy fans have been getting the true Elis James stand up experience: Having your joggers called s*** and then introducing Chris McCausland. Get ready Albert Hall. Maybe the mojo does need to return. Plus, the words reaping and sowing once again come to mind, as Buckinghamshire’s most hubr
#561 - Foxer & Foxee, Count Connection Face and Silly Sausage Britain
Welcome to the silliest podcast around. It’s headphones filled with custard, it’s microphones made of cake, it’s stink bombs in the studio. And all because we have one of the nation’s silliest sausages in our midst: The Prince of Pranks, the goofiest goofball, Mr Elis James.After all the hijinks and japes it’s down to serious chat: Elis and John map out the future of AI, which worryingly ends with
#560 - The Messi of Englyns, Warranty Wallies and Garth Olwg or Bust
If you like your podcasts jam-packed with top quality content, then boy do we have a show for you.First up: what’s it like to be in a creative powerhouse couple? A quite stressed Elis lifts the lid. And he explains why he needs Daniel Kitson to pull his finger out.Next John talks about being a lion of the plains, and walking into a saloon wearing all black. Admittedly it is quite confusing, but st
#559 - Here We Hit It, The Calmru Connection and Darwin’s Flatmate Dave
Sad news everyone, Elis is retiring. We thought Johnny JR would go first, but Elis has beaten him to it. He’s peaked. He’s reached his zenith and there ain’t nowhere to go from there. But worry not, because he’s referring to his DJing career and not his podcasting one…Then it’s onto kids' parties and the big question: is John’s conduct in the Bureau de Change of the Mind the best training gro
#558 - Drip Feeding Dross, Dave Kanchelskis and Oiling The Engine of Love
John, Dave and Calvin Harris are with you today to discuss all things DJ’ing. Incidentally, Calvin Harris can only DJ when there’s another wifi connection. If there isn’t then he rings his indie disco mate and the air turns blue. As well as hearing about all the hottest dance gigs, Dave drops an absolute bombshell within seconds of starting the record. Something he’s held back for years amids
#557 - Live at the Crossed Wires Festival
It’s not often you get to experience a world first. But here you go, you’re about to hear the first ever documented Sheffield-first, podcast-second, terrestrial-radio-third broadcast. Is this a defining moment for podcasting? For entertainment? For global culture as a whole? Only time will tell.Elis, John and Dave recently graced the stage at Sheffield’s Crossed Wires festival, and here for your l
#556 - Un-Air Conditional, 296 Johns and A Pitta Pocket or Two
Our trio are on the old remote tricast today and John is, again, incredibly keen to emphasise just how well he is getting on during Operation Heatwave. But it’s also hot hot hot broadcasting as we hear of tupperware audits and controversy in the Dads Race. Does Elis remain unbeaten? Also, sound the Heartwarming Radio Bell as one of the team shares a delightful addition to his week.
#555 - Consent Cushions, A Cuddle Bath and Sitting Quietly in Ghent
It’s been a big old week for Johnny JR, but has he won again? Well it’s one in the win column for his much anticipated return to the small screen. But it would be helpful if he could remember the name of his own TV show…And then there’s the small matter of updating the firmware on the CarPlay in the Sportage. Will John win against 2017 technology? Or will Theresa May-era software prove his downfal
#554 - A Cream Spiral, Nude Dave and Dignity then Dignitas
It’s an evening pre-record this week, and it would be a little bit more jazz, a little bit more Soho and a little bit more laid back…if Dave’s train hadn’t been held up by cows, and John’s stomach wasn’t in confusion mode.And yet there’s no denying that we are totally committed to ‘keeping Britain moo-ving’ as we share treatments for tricky skin, reflect on Elis’s bed time pork pies and give yeast
#553 - The Orbit of Peel, Potentials & Tangentials and WD-Phwoarty
After doing what Status Quo failed to do, breaking America, Elis thinks it fitting to introduce the world of EJJR to those living stateside. So behold some dodgy accents, references to ‘mom’s apple tart’ and Elis, John and Dave’s personal Mount Rushmores.But having made his name doing what he does best, Cymru Connecting, how will Elis fare with all this added pressure? Will the weight of American
#552 - Gloop, Love Bees and It’s Me Or The Lathe
The heat’s great isn’t it. As John points out, it’s no longer twee and fun headlines, instead it’s “Phew You’re All Going To Die Quite Soon”. What japes! Luckily we’ve got the cool cucumber balm of content for those toasty ears. And may we say, there’s some top notch correspondence today pertaining to love struck albums, lathes and crucial public health information on getting your bits checke
#551 - Bumsyl, A Mind STD and Switchblade and Porky in Space
After a bout of promiscuous and unprotected thinking, John’s been in a panic sphere. He’s only gone and given himself a mind STD, but could some watermelon body wash be to blame?All this leads to a full circle moment for Elis. He might be headlining the Royal Albert Hall next year, but is the realisation of his long-touted ‘health podcast’ actually his career zenith?Listener JB sends in a cracking
#550 - By The Heart, CBDTea and Laughing in the Yurt with Charlize
It has been decreed that this is a football free zone. Well not until John nips out for a vape. Then when he returns, Elis, Dave and the production staff are all attentive and silent.But in this chill zone we imagine a chill world. One in which John has 5.2m followers overnight and has a wellness brand whilst dating a Hollywood heavyweight. You might think it’s a leap but rather a reality that was
#549 - Creativitine, Daily Life Stings and Ossification & Death
Who’s that co-hosting this week’s podcast; is it Jean-Paul Sartre? Is it Hannah Arendt? Is it Ronan Keating? Sure, they’ve all opined on the nature of existence, but has our very own philosopher Johnny JR finally hit the nail on the head?John presents a new thesis for existence, but Elis and Dave aren’t buying it…After watching a room full of people cheer Paul McCartney’s every word, Elis is inspi
#548 - Two Mice, Scrabble With Dixon and Leeds Train Baguette
Elis is fresh from the jolly japes of being surprised with being made to do a headline set in front of 5,000 people at an iconic venue. He’s just soooo totally cool about it.“Feel free to leave if it’s bad, but give the guy a chance.” So if you want to miss the rush during the gig then stay til the end. John revives an old, and at times deeply criticised, feature. We also hear some more good
#547 - Pressure is a Privilege
Today’s show is all about one man: one of Wales’s greatest sons, one of the football terrace’s greatest sons, one of podcasting’s greatest sons. We’re talking about none other than the the cycling extraordinaire, the cagoule aficionado, the Cymru Connector-in-Chief, Mr Elis James. And what one thing does Elis hate above all else? Surprises. And what do we have in store for him? A surprise so
#546 - Jimmy Corkhill, €57 of Tapenade and Remembering John’s Misdeeds
The UK’s stagnant economy is about to have a huge injection of growth, because Elis has got a big idea and a big observation. Strap in and let’s make millions.Whilst becoming billionaires is in the air, you know what are also in the air? Questions. Questions such as would you rather be a long boy or a boxy boy or a baggy boy? Is Christ going to be on Jools Holland? And do you have to ask what John
#545 - AudioDog, Jibber Jabber Media and Rubadubdub Productions
Today’s podcast is brought to you by a couple of big cheeses, a couple of real movers and shakers in the audio game. Because Elis and John have redefined what it means to give a keynote presentation at a podcast industry event.Elis will be pushing back on whatever you say, and John won’t be wearing no lanyard for no one; he’s the Lou Reed of the podcast-first-radio-second generation.But what of Pr
#544 - The Golden Texter, Wheels Through Wales and Common Zense
A few weeks ago Elis refused to accept the Buddhist idiom ‘the glass is already broken’. In so doing, did he set back mindfulness 10,000 billion years, or did he inadvertently birth a great podcast-first feature? We’re hoping it’s the latter; welcome to Common Zense.And top-tier podcasting doesn’t stop there, because Elis and John have also gone and created the Golden Texter, the Eagle Topic. Comm
#543 - Lovely Pen, The Lumley Route and Unchopped for 15 Years
It’s a show that asks more questions than it answers. For starters, could Elis and John host Strictly? How are the boys related to classic board game Guess Who? And can you spell catastrophe without top rate cash?These amuse-bouches are followed up with meatier questions: why was John interviewed at a law firm? Why has Elis been under London’s strongest thumbs? And why is Dave telling a man called
#542 - Junk Kerplunk, Big Low Bum and Is It Time For =?
Redemption for Elis James. After unspeakable failure 12 months ago, he rises from the ashes like a phoenix at this year’s charity football match. John also wears running shoes in goal and gets his baps out.Plus, we hear of some of your late relationship icks, Dave’s been sent to jail with Gok Wan and would John actually like to be the COO of a medium sized business? He’d get reserved parking, but
#541 - Hi Jacob, Big Brynn the Hill and 14 Connections by Tenby
After spending the last few weeks in the shadows of two of this country’s greatest runners, one podcaster has finally stepped out to make a name for himself.Elis James, the great Cymru Connector himself, has saddled up and attempted to cycle the great nation he calls home. And somehow, despite raising bucketloads of cash for charity in the process, it’s left him in dire financial straits…But he’s
#540 - Hate Merch, (Non-Predator) and Institutional/Pedantic Failures
“Life’s too short to drink bad wine, when people are wine, and drinking is being near them and having them in your life.” Another wise and pithy quote from the mind of John Robins. You’d think that’s included in his wise and pithy autobiography about alcohol. In fact it’s not, because he gives them out for free here. Gratis.Speaking of all the relevant pith, John’s a bestseller! Isn’t that neat. N
#539 - An Odd King, The Lash Lament and Not Everything’s Istanbul
We’re living in a Johnapalooza. With the release of his Blubography (trademark: Elis James) last week, John’s been touring the country. But do any of his shows bear resemblance to the hallowed 1976 Sex Pistols gig at the Lesser Free Trade Hall? Elis and Dave do their best to draw parallels. Away from book and tour shenanigans, Elis threatens to swear enough to make the show unusable in a bid
#538 - Gareth Birthday, Ron Robins and Chapinhanding Tucci
It’s John Robins day. John Robins Contentaggedon. You simply can’t move for Robins. Because John sits at the crest of a content wave. Megatisation, another podcast series, marathon, birthday, millions of interviews and book release have all come as a quick flurry of jabs to the midriff. But is he all tuckered out? Is it all too much? Clearly not because he’s got another mad mind game on the go tha
#537 - Johning, But Cyriously and Lovers Gonna Love
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It’s a tale of two anecdotes today, and in a way both of them fall into the latter category. Elis has been donning his corporate hat on no sleep and nearly no thumb, while John has been encountering some very public acts of love.With the dust finally settled on all things marathon, we’re back to regular programming: a Cymru Connection that’s lit
#536 - A Cup Final You Can’t Lose
They did it! The marathon has been conquered by the bravest and youngest boys around, Messrs John Robins and Dave Masterman. And due to the circular nature of this show’s recording schedule, just 5 days later we can finally bask in the glory of their amazing achievements! So strap in for a marathon debrief like no other, including a squat competition (which is the real quiz) that has disastro
#535 - Heck & Mess, John’s Grave Lecture and A Walk-Walk Technique
It’s a funny old episode today due to the circular way this podcast is recorded. In one sense you could say that John and Dave HAVE run the marathon (indeed post-mara John does make a brief appearance), but in another, very real sense you could argue that they HAVEN’T run the marathon.Did they finish it? Who knows (yes they did). How did it go? We’ll have to find out (John was caught lubing his ne
#534 - Berating The Hips, #TeamCharles and National Growers of the Year Awards 2011
It’s T-2 until Marathon Day. The trainers are being laced. The talc is being applied. And the Ass Magic is getting to work. This is the pre-game build up. That half an hour where Carragher and Neville talk about a variety of hypotheticals.Do you find the marathon talk boring? Well it’s what we’re doing, so ‘jog on’. But that does mean we’re getting very close to the final boss of Running To Win an
#533 - Backing Brittin, Destination Bloob and Dormice! Dormice! Dormice!
Two towering national figures dominate today’s podcast; bloobs and David Attenborough. Bloobs because John has realised he lives in heaven and he backs the Chilterns. Attenborough because John’s been watching his new (filthy) TV show and Elis has been having nightmares about knocking him down the stairs.Three other culturally significant totems also feature: First there’s the new DG who meets John
#532 - Cat Yoghurt, Snatching Defeat and David’s Got 19 Bikes
Huge news. Elis has nearly got into a fight. He nearly lamped a bloke because he confused Llanfairfechan with Penmaenmawr*. Of course he didn’t. Rather he was being a stand up citizen protecting this nation’s highways. But heroism doesn’t pay, because it’s also time for the semi-regular spousal Elis James rinse. Isy's been talking about Elis on other platforms, which means great insight for u
#531 - Trauma Shirts, Pavarotti the Hamster and Paula Radcliffe
Quick hypothetical Q: If you’re running a marathon for the first time (because you’ve realised your bones actually aren’t too heavy to run) and you want to get advice from someone, who do you turn to?Roger Bannister? Not possible. Forrest Gump? Not possible again. Oh, what about the world class athlete who held the record for the fastest women's marathon for 16 years? What, Paula Radcliffe? Yeah,
#530 - Mid-Table Rhino, 4:55pm Double Curry and The History of The Buffet
Elis has a hot chest and feels spacey, whilst John’s got his thrice a decade hay fever, which is a real problem now he’s in full vis. So that’s a great start to the second ever Megatisation era episode. Today’s a day for big questions, including and not limited to… Are their filthcentric studio sharers the antichrist? Has John nearly completed YouTube? Can he also win an Oscar with his sizzli
#529 - Running Noises, Cubist Javelin and Elis & Johndgerbread Men
It’s a big/normal day! Everything in Elis and John world just got bigger/stayed exactly the same as before! All praise the Brave New World/status quo!John’s dressed up in a suit and tie to mark the (non-) occasion, and there’s a 100 points on offer to the listener who can decipher John’s scripted intro.Beyond everything changing/staying exactly the same, Elis and John try to find the best non-thre
EMERGENCY: Elis and John Megatisation Alert!
Emergency! Emergency! Elis and John just got Megatised. We repeat, Elis and John just got Megatised.PATREON VIBES IN THE AREAOur brand new Patreon channel will feature our flagship offering of The Adventures of Elis and John - a monthly visualised series too daring for TV that will feature excursions, activities and escapades from our favourite todgers. Subscribers will also get fully visualised p
#528 - A Remembersplore, Miserable Coat Man and The Early Human Scene
Strap yourself in because boy do we have a highbrow show for you today. Quoting Heidegger? Check. Ruminations on the nature of the present? Check. Elis S’ing himself in a park in Cardiff after a night on the Red Bull mixers? Check. John Wins Again throws up some interesting morsels: John reveals his latest bedtime snack, and one of John’s wins leaves Elis literally speechless. Elsewhere we meet El
#527 - Ab Merchants, Bleeding VAT and Ladybirdaggedon
It’s a rollercoaster of a show for Elis James. He has the opportunity to rectify recent Welsh footballing disappointment by becoming the only player in Cymru Connection history to connect with 5 people twice.National pride can be restored, as long as Elis opens his eyes and doesn’t go down a Cymru cul-de-sac. Come on El, a (potentially imaginary) listener’s haircut depends on it!Plus John plays ha
#526 - Huw Bris, Sir Psycho Sexy and Your Mexico 86
“You were hungover thinking about darts.” “You are scum.” “You are a waste that has wasted himself.” “How do you like that John?” “Why don’t you just melt in the park you never walked through enough 21 years ago?” “You complete piece of S.”From that exchange you wouldn’t think it would be a philosophical episode. However it is. It's deep. It’s a privilege, despair, sadness, nostalgia fest. And for
#525 - Lostalgia, Fornication Nation and Narberth to Nefyn Nude
Elis has come off the back of a midi week but that’s not a problem, because the hive mind has another great TV format to which the networks can say “I love it, so I’m going to say ‘no’.”‘John’s Thoughts’ arrives much to Elis’s confusion, during which John’s also come up with an emotion that’s more complex than nostalgia. “What is this?” asks the Assistant to a Thought Leader about the feature. We
#524 - The Purple Pill, Hits & Mems and John Robins In The Manosphere
It’s all Hits and Mems today as we imagine two media worlds that John Robins could have inhabited. These being: Bristol local radio (1-4pm) and the manosphere.Traffic, travel and the afternoon countdown to the pub, or grifting? Two forks in the road he could have gone down, but thankfully hasn’t. Safe to say his imagination is in fervent overdrive as we also hear of a world where he has $10 millio
#523 - Tender Thomas, A Good Beast and Checkout Confidential
The confidence of one of the great confidence players takes a battering this week. What starts off as some light-hearted fun around the London Marathon (after Johnny JR reveals some exciting news), turns into a head-in-hands moment that curses Elis for the entirety of today’s show.How does his misstep affect his Cymru Connecting performance? Will the unassailable points gap in Made Up Games get ev
#522 - Fast Twitch Diplomacy, Jeez & Onion and To Do With The Weavers
The studio is wafting with sandalwood and intense male musk because Dave’s got a new scent, something which is causing John much nasal fascination.But yet again, the big story is a huge Elis James week. What a run he’s on by the way. He’s had a completely genuine standing ovation at one of London’s coolest comedy gigs. Further still, he’s performed the finest bit of house jobbery he’s ever done, w
#521 - Subversive Regional, Call Roger Bannister and All At Sea in a Brandscape
John Robins feels enormous. His Christmas Day, Ryder Cup and Tax Deadline Day have all come at once. That’s right, a new supermarket has opened near his house, and he’s primed and ready to make content that no one else would dream of making. Strap in for some gonzo journalism; it’s Fear and Loathing in Rural Bucks.Supermarket excitement aside, we tackle the big questions: Did Elizabeth I wish she’
#520 - Moheathcliffe, #FindTheFlax and Che Guevara On QI
What do Sir Steve Redgrave, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, David Beckham and John Robins have in common? None of them were asked on QI. Elis has though, and it’s clearly going down very very well with all parties.But today feels significant as we rope in a special guest to digest Elis hammering his friend using his fast twitch fibres. On top of that, John’s having a big day -
#519 - Big Seed, Big Sad John and Big Voiced Clive
John is not going to dance to their tune. Who’s tune? The people who design the layouts of supermarkets, that’s who. Sure, they can play their seductive little ditties, but Johnny JR ain’t dancing.But someone who is dancing to a tune is Elis James, and that tune is Welsh music (general). With St David’s Day having just passed, the pressure is on Elis to contribute to the national mood. Can he turn
#518 - An 18 Yard Sprint, Sovereignty Not Dominion and Big Diolch Energy
Elis is in the middle of a megaweek. He’s about to do a 100m race for charity that he wishes could be 18 yards, he’s been to 10 Downing Street because Sir Keir is in love with him, and he’s been accosted by a roomful of Welsh people wanting to connect with him.But amongst all this he has also been betrayed. For there was a Paul McCartney-based event that he wasn’t invited to, despite another membe
#517 - A Peruvian Exit, A 14 Pocket Scenario and A Neyland in the Coffin
Elis has Barrel of Eggs’ed it. Or more accurately, Isy has. The new car has met its match in the form of inner-London car park tight corners. But for a show that holds content on the highest pedestal possible, this can only be seen as a good thing.Not only has Elis got a damaged car, but he also has a damaged connection rate in the Cymru Connection. Can youth-based listener Holly be the ticket Eli
#516 - Master of The Memoir, French Flag Fancy and I Am Full of Eggs
It’s Melvin Brain in the chair today as we go all Radio 4. What is thought? What is the self? High. Brow. This is the Best Comedy show at the British Podcast Awards 2025. Parenting Hell simply isn't doing this. There’s even an academic called Dr Loevenbruck involved.It is a full spectrum of vibes today. From deep psychology to S’ing yourself twice in a heartbeat.Elsewhere, John has a hollow coldne
#515 - Lads FM, Acquire It and Do you Want Vibes with That?
It’s a shame this year’s Oscar nominations have been named because John’s new film idea could have swept the board. Watch out John Ford with your record 4 wins for Best Director, watch out James Cameron with your highest-grossing films, there’s a new auteur in town.However, it isn’t all positivity for our Robins. After the highs of creativity, the lows of having your heart broken by someone you th
#514 - Chinese Geese, Caribbean Soaks and Emre Can Headspace
It’s limbs in the studio as a box of brownies and a couple of books have lifted Elis out of a funk. What great news for bookworms with low blood sugar. But the internal glucose alarm isn’t the only one going off as a fire alert causes chaos.We also get psychological as the boys unpick the idea of the inner monologue, and with that the terrifying engine steering John under the bonnet. Would Freud e
#513 - John Laughter, Alan Giggles and Pierre Novellie
Due to factors it’s another ride on the remote record train as the Bucks-Hulme-Palace trifecta is enacted once again. But fear not, for geographical limitation does not lead to content limitation, and the show’s exemplary badinage level is kept high.The trifecta briefly becomes a quadfecta through the addition of comedian and protocol penner, Pierre Novellie. Yes, the man who made it his business
#512 - Stasi Mealtime, Clown Stance and There’s A Lot Going On With You
Today we discover there’s a lot going on with John. “News to me” you might say with an eye roll planted at the front of your visage. However, we’re in the more physical realm for once, as his clown feet and crisps ankles hone into view.Elsewhere, Dave is having technical problems because of the need for interrogation-level lighting being installed. And Elis is broadly fine.In some excellent corres
#511 - Chorister Humour, The Veg Guesser and What a Husband!
How well do Elis and Producer Dave really know their wives? After being asked about Hannah’s hopes and dreams a few weeks ago, Dave finally returns with the answers, and Elis can’t resist trying his hand at nailing down Isy’s favourite things.Elsewhere, Elis finds himself in Cymru Connecting heaven and discovers a new brand of humour, while John unearths his latest non-monetisable talent in a game
#510 - It’s Not A Drawer, Creosote i Bumry and The Spirit of Shelford
Today is all about bravery. Lord Nelson levels.John’s back is playing up. Why? “Oil rig level” dangerous activities in cleaning his below knee height fridge. So he’s wheeled in on a big telly for a London-Buckinghamshire simulcast.John has also been listening to The Witches in bed. Which is also brave because it’s scary. Elis has also been in the wars at 5-a-side with an injury apparently akin to
#509 - Cognitive Incline, Watching Swans In Watford and The World’s Rarest Goose
“Caernarfon Heritage Steam Train, why must you forsake me?” Now that’s a taste of what to expect on this episode. The next step in Elis’s English language stand up return has hit the buffers as he plays a room which isn’t Europe’s best gig. Just how can he produce laughs from wealth managers when Llanfairfechan Community Centre is some of the best stuff in his arsenal?Fear not however, because the
#508 - Megabed, Five Salmon and Evidence of Beavers
John has had a nice time. So join us on a journey as Britain’s most normal man goes on holiday to Scotland. Now, we’ve been here before, and we can promise that this time it involves far less emotionally intense visits to various Celtic car parks.Elis’s return to English language stand up also continues apace. It’s going so well that he’s going to play a room where the average age is about 22 and
#507 - A Rice Mouse, Digital Fruit and Josh Widdicombe
It’s a definition bumper pack show today as we cram as much goodness as we possibly can into a single podcast episode. Think of us as one of those fruit shots; it’s pure podcasting distilled into a single hit.The main ingredient is friend of the show Josh Widdicombe, who pops by to talk all things pop culture. He’s adding a new wing to his podcast empire and Elis and John have suggestions. Josh al
#506 - Well Well Well Well Well
Who’s that unrecognisable figure sat across from John!? He looks full of beans, he looks young and vibrant. Why, it’s Circuit Elis! And he’s so back.After playing the country’s most bafflingly playable gig, Elis’s mood and confidence are at an all time high. He’s perfected his opening gambit, he’s got the country’s best bullet-pointed set. That is until John bursts his bubble…John on the other han
#505 - Head House, The Malzeard Option and Deep Blue John
Today’s show is one of peaks and troughs as everyone experiences their ups and downs. John puts forward a very questionable defence against a hypothetical crime, and Elis rails at scoring badly on an intelligence test.On the flip side, the state of John’s brain receives numerous plaudits, and Elis tells an Oscar-worthy joke. It’s classic light and shade.Elsewhere, Dave takes the team down memory l
#504 - Re: Hell, Quezzies and The Cancellation Tapes
2026 is a big year for Johnny JR as he sets his sights on winning the London Marathon. And with Dave lacing up his cheating shoes to pound the P of London’s streets as well, the team have quezzies.Luckily today’s episode features a man who is more than capable of answering said quezzies: friend of the show and running guru Ben Parkes. It’s his job to help John hack the London Marathon. Godspeed Be
#503 - Succulent PBs, Bless Warwick and 8 Billion Johns
Could 2026 be the year that Elis and John change beyond recognition? And we’re not talking spiritually or even emotionally; we’re talking physically. Because Elis aims to bolster his handsomeness across the calendar year, and John toys with the prospect of going bagless under the old peepers.Cosmetic surgery aside, John has written up a 28 point plan for if he became World King. Luckily he lost co
#502 - Cheating Shoes, A 46% Complaint Ratio and New Year Old John
It may be a new year, but it’s an old John we find on today’s podcast. An attempted new year’s resolution meant the odd tear was shed, and now he’s in hell. But it’s not all bad, because he does have the cleanest crotch in show business thanks to a hand sanitiser mishap.Spirits get lifted by a visit from our in-house statistician, our very own Andy Zaltzman, Statman Ross. He reveals that John’s Ma
#501 - The Best of 2025
The year 2025 will forever be remembered as the year of Elis and John. It will be remembered for John's wins and losses, for Elis's car antics. It will be remembered for Tim Key's John snub, for Elis cementing the Cymru Connection into the Welsh psyche. It will be remembered for James Acaster's searing takedowns, for Dave's alarm disaster, and for the four words: 'it was oil again'.As Elis and Joh
#500 - Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker
Put the wrapping paper down, turn off Home Alone and stop stressing about a glorified Sunday roast… the true meaning of Christmas has finally been revealed to us, and would you believe it, it’s Elis and John!Yes, everything in this festive period has been leading up to Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker, and boy does it deliver on festive cheer. Because what’s more Christmassy than a debate about T
#499 - Digital Oil, Peak Christmas and Love Shakes Piles
John's eaten two helpings of pancakes and we’re in a race against time. Can this bantercast cram in enough badinage before one of its hosts succumbs to a sugar crash? It’s a question that’s been asked many times before, and one that will no doubt be asked again, but it’s a critical question nonetheless.Elis has spent the week telling his wife Isy that he ‘must be alone’ in order to finish John’s b
#498 - Chilli Rice, Grieving Upside Down and Thames!
You might detect a slight difference in Elis’s demeanour this week; a bolstered confidence, an increased self-worth, a man with a purpose. Elis has tasted power, and he ain’t looking back. This is the new Elis, Elis 2.0, Elis ‘You’ll Do What I Say’ James. Because Elis has looked after 4 children on a school trip to The Monument. This feels significant.Meanwhile John thinks we’re molly-coddling the
#497 - Badiography, Gunge Limitations and Snippy WhatsApps From The 1pm Bath
Today we ask the question: what would a world without Dave look like? A Daveless world. Imagine a sliding doors moment where a sterner producer was given the reins in 2014. Fast forward to late 2025 and in the studio, almost certainly, Elis would still be eating or have forgotten to come in. John would have vape hot boxed himself into a coma. Do not underestimate his impact.No Dave and no wise wor
#496 - Cloud 7, 40 Guffs and Elements of Edmonds
What does an already packed show need to make it feel complete? That’s right, it’s an 8 minute intro (or just under a 5th of an Edinburgh show...) and an 8 minute Noel Edmonds apologia. This show is nothing if not disciplined.Once we’re all intro’ed and up-to-date on the elements of Edmonds, it’s content content content. John does some winning and losing, Elis does some Cymru Connecting, and every
#495 - Oil Gangs, Fiddler of the Roof and Bags In The Sex Shop
Oil rises to the top of the content liquid again, primarily because of its lower density. It’s hard to remove as we know, so there’s a slick across the episode clogging our feathers.So what are your oils? More importantly, what are Adrian’s oils? And will John insist on going through all the smoke points of all the oils? Questions that are all answered within.Plus, Elis has got deep into a karaoke
#494 - Classic 6 7, The Best Brazil and Will Punk Tomorrow
With something being filmed just outside the studio we’re lucky Elis and John made it in for today’s episode. John was very nearly accosted to fill the leading role, and Elis was just about able to peel his eyes away from potential live blunders. Thank goodness for the boys’ dedication to #content.Away from the glitz and glamour of a film set, Elis and Dave have both been battling with bed bugs, o
#493 - Yeovil Creatives, Scared of My Mate and What Are Your Oils?
John has had enough of apologies. He wants action and results. Combine that with John being notified about every business expense, and you get a very scared Elis and Dave.But sometimes it’s fear that instils results - or more importantly top quality content. This is how Sir Alex would want it.Meanwhile the more be-thighed of the two has had enough of clouds. He doesn’t ever want to look down at th
#492 - Transit Guffs, Ania Magliano and Mr Big Boggle
As John returns from yet another triumphant, nay groundbreaking eye-climbing tour of the Alps, there are a few questions on everybody’s lips: What records did he break this time? Was he able to stick to the confusing speed limits of Swiss roads? And more importantly, what would the future of the BBC look like under the tutelage of the great eye-climber himself, Johnny JR?Wins are totted up, losses
#491 - The PM, 10 Downing Street and A Big Chinese
It’s a big big week. No phoning it in this time. No no, as this is the most politically significant balanced podcast in the UK.Finally, the call of the nation has been answered. John Robins has been in the corridors of power. If you notice general efficiency being raised by 0.12% in UK PLC this week then you have one man to thank - external factors notwithstanding.He brought up the economy. He bro
#490 - Tom Rosenthal, Thrown by Doves and Adjust or Leave
Elis and John are joined by the UK’s ‘most confusing prospect’, aka Tom Rosenthal, to talk affairs, internet fads and conspiracy theories. We also learn what their respective approaches to golf can teach us about John (The James Milner of golf) and Tom (The Diego Maradona of golf).Elsewhere there are revelations and tears in the Cymru Connection, and a Made Up Game that tests just how much Elis an
