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Three Bean Salad

Three Bean Salad

Three Bean Salad 200 Episodes Sep 16, 2026

A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.

Episodes

Dancing
Dancing Sep 16, 2026 01:13:32 We are not the only species that dances but we are the only one that has Dancercise. With that in mind, perhaps it is worth reflecting on the often misquoted words of 17th century poet and scholar John Donne: “Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Dancercise. Therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” Thanks for Sandor of the other side of wherever
Taxis
Taxis Sep 9, 2026 58:41 Taxi drivers in the UK are exempt from having to wear seatbelts so that their passengers have one less thing to strangle them with mid-journey - a sobering little fact and one which perhaps illustrates the nature of the relationship between cabbies and their fares through the ages. Thanks to Phil of Utrecht for suggesting taxis as this week’s topic for the podcast (which has always been and remain
Musicals
Musicals Sep 2, 2026 01:05:22 It is known that EVERY event is better when punctuated by songs (hence hymns, national anthems, Auld Lang Syne etc). It stands to reason therefore that the musical is the apogee of human endeavour. Can you imagine then the excitement of the beans when this week’s topic was barfed out of The Bean Machine and musicals is what it turned out to be???!!!! Thanks to Sophie of somewhere probably for this
August Anti-sode
August Anti-sode Aug 5, 2026 10:11 No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
Fifth Wednesday Ersatz Episode
Fifth Wednesday Ersatz Episode Jul 30, 2026 02:20 No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of Andy Burnham)
Frogs
Frogs Jul 22, 2026 01:02:40 Whatever happened to The Frog Chorus? Were Paul McCartney’s erstwhile collaborators merely one hit wonders? Or, more than four decades on from the release of their smash hit single “We All Stand Together”, might we see them dusting off their vocal sacs and hitting the road alongside so many other ’80s pop sensations? Mayhap they’ll headline next year’s Glastonbury? No way of knowing. And this is c
Stationary
Stationary Jul 15, 2026 01:05:40 Can anything ever truly be still (apart from David Blaine)? Perhaps this is what Lou of Bend, Oregon would have the beans ponder by suggesting “stationary” as this week’s topic. Or perhaps Lou is in the middle of getting stalked by a brown bear and, while playing dead and only able to operate a mobile telephone from inside the pocket of a pair of waterproof trousers, thought posting this suggestio
Village Fêtes
Village Fêtes Jul 8, 2026 01:02:00 Samuel of 84a High Street selects village fêtes as this week’s topic for the beans. You may well ask yourself why Samuel has made this choice and wonder if perhaps Samuel was never voted as Village Fête Prince or if Samuel’s motorised float never podiumed or if Samuel shoved his hand in a lucky dip barrel and pulled it out again expecting to be holding a prize only to find his fingers had been rep
The Roman Empire
The Roman Empire Jul 1, 2026 59:17 Plumbers. Noon. The Planets. Just a few of the things that probably wouldn’t even exist today if it weren’t for the Roman Empire probably. And here’s another one: Luke from Bolton via Bremen. Little wonder then that he chose it as this week’s topic for the Three Bean Salad Podcast (which definitely would have existed either way).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.p
Seaside Towns
Seaside Towns Jun 24, 2026 55:48 Seaside towns have had a shaky reputation ever since the people of Hastings lifted the rope for those meddlesome Normans. Almost a millennium on is it time their notoriety was reassessed? Owen of Rhyl thinks yes and that the people for the task are beans three.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merc
The Circus
The Circus Jun 17, 2026 01:03:08 People often say it’s not the size of a clown’s trousers that matters but the state of the custard pie in the clown’s pocket. Perhaps that’s something we should all reflect on more deeply with peak circus season fast approaching. No doubt that’s what Charlotte was thinking when she luzzed “The Circus” into the Bean Machine for use as this week’s topic.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonu
Agatha Christie
Agatha Christie Jun 10, 2026 01:04:49 Agatha Christie has had her works translated into more languages than any other author in history according to the most superficial of Googlings. But would she have given a monkey’s? It’s impossible to know and fruitless to ask so why Alan of the Surrey Borders entered her name into the Bean Machine is a mystery the likes of which even Jack Reacher would struggle to solve but we’re here now so let

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