The Academic Imperfectionist
The Academic Imperfectionist combines philosophical analysis and coaching insights to help you dump perfectionism and flourish on your own terms. Your host is Dr Rebecca Roache, a coach and Senior Lecturer in Philosophy at the University of London.
Episodes
#136: Stop chasing that 'finished my homework' feeling
Do you often have thoughts like, 'I just need to finish X, then I can relax'? Except that when you finish X, you still can't relax, because along comes another obligation - and before you know it, you're face-to-face with burnout. If that's you, you're not alone, and you're not incompetent. You're simply approaching your work in a way that has served you wel
#135: Do this instead of comparing yourself to others
We all have that one person, don't we, whose success makes us painfully aware of our own shortcomings? A person who serves as a reminder of all the great things we could have been, but aren't. Hearing news of their latest achievement is liable to ruin our entire day, as we rush headlong into reflecting on how flawed and disappointing we are. But what if it's not that simple? What if
#134: Defeat perfectionism with one weird trick
Yeah, okay, clickbaity title, but I really do want to share with you a helpful way of reframing perfectionism that I've been thinking about recently. Perfectionism happens when our lack of confidence in our ability to succeed meets our lack of knowledge about what success requires. Overcoming it requires filling in the gaps in our knowledge and finding constructive ways to respond to our lack
#133: Academia is just a job!
Do you ever worry that you're not serious enough for academia? That you're constantly playing whack-a-mole with hiding your many frivolous and unimpressive traits as you try to convince everyone that you deserve your place at the table? That you're a big old fake because you need to curate yourself so much in order to seem like you belong? If so, you're not alone - and it'
#132: Backpacks, bias, and your unrealistic summer plans
You know how, when teaching finishes for the summer, you feel all-powerful and end up vastly over-estimating how much you'll be able to get done before the new academic year? And, have you ever noticed that the opposite happens once term starts up again: you're overwhelmed, you panic because you don't think you're going to manage to do everything, but then you surprise yourself
#131: Your binary thinking is trying to tell you something
Binary thinking is that horrible all-or-nothing approach that holds us back by convincing us that any positive change we consider will inevitably lead to disaster. You know the sort of thing: 'I should be more assertive, but if I try, I'll end up being an arrogant psychopath who everyone hates', or 'I should get out for a walk every day, but if I do, I will neglect all my dutie
#130: The bonkers mental gymnastics of your writing anxiety
We all know how hard you have to work to sit down and write. You'll do pretty much anything to avoid it. Have you ever noticed, though, that avoiding your writing is no less exhausting than just bloody doing it? Weird, right? Well, actually, not weird - at least, not when you understand how hard your poor, anxious brain is having to work to trick you into getting your words down. You care dee
#129: The hidden burden of decision fatigue
Are you frustrated with yourself because you just can't get on with the work you care most about? Do you find it easier to make progress with emails and marking than to get your writing done? Is your procrastination out of control? Are you just unbelievably lazy?Take a pause, my friend. There's a reason why you struggle to make progress on the important things, and it's not what you
#128: Professor Katrien Devolder on why you're wrong about laziness
Is it bad to be called lazy? Prince Harry thinks so: in his memoir, he suggests that it's better to called racist than lazy. But even if you wouldn't go that far, I'm willing to bet that you care deeply about not being viewed as lazy. Perhaps you've worked when you should have taken a sick day, said yes to things that you knew were a bad idea, or pushed yourself to burnout - al
#127: Professor Polaris Koi on why self-control is not what you think it is
Be honest. You're here because you think you completely suck at self-control, aren't you? You're constantly disappointing yourself, and it's getting you down. The people around you seem to be able to get on with things - but you find it impossible, for some reason. And, by 'for some reason', you mean 'because I'm a terrible person'.Help is at hand, my b
#126: Why you should care about emotional frailty
You know what frailty is, and you definitely want to avoid it. But have you heard of emotional frailty? No, of course not - I've just made it up. But if you've ever felt like you're completely winning at life, and then some tiny little setback knocks you sideways, leaving you wondering what's wrong with you and why you suddenly can't cope, emotional frailty is to blame. Em
#125: Your moral gerrymandering is hurting you
You're a good person. You try to be a good friend, a good colleague, and a good neighbour. You care about other people, you pull your weight, and you don't let anyone down. But, sometimes, you feel you're not enough. You're exhausted, but taking time for yourself means doing wrong by somebody else. You feel like you need to destroy yourself just to avoid being a bad person.If t
#124: Dr Dana Klisanin on wild willpower and drawing resilience from nature
What comes to mind when you think about willpower? Discipline? Self-denial? Overcoming your weak, useless, lazy self? Exhausting, right? Thankfully, there's another way, and this episode's guest is here to take you there. Dr Dana Klisanin is a psychologist and one of Forbes's 50 leading female futurists. She's a researcher, an author, an artist, a TEDx speaker, and the founder
#123: What do you have to brag about?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your willingness to say nice things about yourself? How about your willingness to point out your own failures and shortcomings? If the first number you came up with is higher than the second, then move along, my friend - this episode can do nothing for you. Gather round, the rest of you. You've been taught all your life that modesty and humility are v
#122: Write it down, make it happen
Do you get up every day and tear around trying to get stuff done, and yet still end up feeling overwhelmed and frustrated at your lack of progress? There's something very simple - so simple, in fact, that you're going to feel cheated and frankly furious as soon as I tell you what it is - that you can do to get more done and feel less frantic. Now, I know you don't have time to liste
#121: Is your self-improvement self-rejection in disguise?
I know how committed you are to self-improvement. Self-improvement is a good thing, right? Well, it depends. If you're motivated to improve yourself because you don't like yourself as you are, then perhaps it's not as wholesome as you thought. But how do you tell whether you're doing the wholesome sort of self-improvement or the unwholesome sort? What even is the right sort of
#120: Professor Wendelien van Eerde on the science of procrastination
If you thought you knew everything about procrastination, prepare to be humbled. Professor Wendelien van Eerde is a psychologist who has spent her entire career understanding procrastination, motivation, and time management, and helping people work more effectively. She swung by Imperfectionist Towers to share her knowledge and help troubleshoot your productivity woes. You're going to hear al
#119: All about coaching
What's coaching, what's the difference between coaching and therapy, is a coach going to tell me what to do, what happens in a coaching session, how many coaching sessions should I have, how often should I have them, how do I choose a coach ... I get asked these questions (and more) a lot by new coaching clients. So, here I am, putting all my answers in one place. Hit play, and find out
#118: The Academic Imperfectionist origin story
Ever wondered how your Imperfectionist friend here got from academic philosophy to coaching? Lots of coaching clients have asked this over the years, so here I am, with an episode to bring you up to speed. I'll tell you all about how it's thanks to COVID that I ended up coaching, how the podcast was born because I realised I was incapable of uttering sentences like 'Would you allow
#117: Intervention for inept time management
Do you massively over-estimate how much you can accomplish in any period of time? Do you struggle to work out how long it's going to take you to complete a particular project? Friend, same. Don't worry, though, because there are some well-recognised psychological reasons for that, and plenty of advice too. There's just one problem: when it comes to projects that are linked to your s
#116: Procrastination is a bad idea
If only you spent more time working and less time procrastinating, your life would be so much better. Right? Friend, I know how you feel, but it's not that simple. Some forms of procrastination actually help us get our work done, while some forms of work are just a waste of your time. In fact, I've come to realise that the very idea of procrastination is pretty unhelpful, and it can stan
#115: Who cares about achievement?
Do you ever feel that, unless you achieve the things you think you should be achieving, you'll cease to exist? That you'll fade away, become invisible, fail to be a fully-realised human? If so, you're in good company. For many of us, living a fulfilling life is inextricably linked with achievement, striving, productivity, winning.I'm not here to tell you not to care about achie
#114: Ego, resentment, and recognition
Do you struggle to make sense of the jumble of attitudes you have towards your career? Perhaps you feel overlooked despite the fact that you've just been given a job. Perhaps you're striving to do well and hoping to get noticed while at the same time feeling resentful of the whole process, and critical of yourself for engaging in it. And, if you do feel these things, do you also attack y
#113: What if you don't have good habits?
'Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement', James Clear tells us in Atomic Habits. But what if you don't have the right habits - or at least, not yet? And how do you motivate yourself to do the thing for the 21 days that, according to legend, are required in order to establish a habit unless you already have the habit?With all this talk of the importance of habits, you&a
#112: David Hume and the battle between reason and passion
You've done the coaching and the therapy, you've read the books, you've listened to the podcasts - and finally, you can accept that you're just as worthy as the next person! You belong here! You can stand up, take up space, and be proud! You can stop carrying all that anxiety, fear, and shame! Except ... nobody told your anxiety, fear, and shame. You feel just as uncertain as y
#111: Erving Goffman, Instagram, and the Real You
You know all the advice about ignoring your inner critic, avoiding comparisons, and giving yourself credit for your achievements. But you can't shake the sense that the real you is something shameful, something you need to keep hidden at all costs, and that those people who say nice things about you would be horrified if they knew what you were really like. Friend, you've got Real You al
#110: How to sabbatical like a pro, with Professor Bethany Wilinski
Ah, the sabbatical. Getting one is like hitting the jackpot, right? All your problems would melt away if you had one. You'd go into it a frazzled, anxious, burnt out mess, and emerge serene, rested, and with a few dazzling additions to your CV. In fact, you'd be so sorted if you got a sabbatical that it's probably never occurred to you that you might need some hand-holding through t
#109: Productivity, golden eggs, and inner critics
What's your reaction when your inner critic tells you that what you're doing is not good enough? If you think she's right, and that it's only thanks to her that you're getting anything done at all, you're not alone. But while you're busy listening to your inner critic, you're overlooking the fact that she's not helping you. In fact, she's making th
#108: Your writing warm-up
Do you know how writing is supposed to feel when it's going well? If you're anything like I was a few years ago, you have some pretty bizarre ideas here, involving things like hours on end of laser-sharp flow, iron-clad willpower to resist distractions, and a mind that is drawn towards lofty ideas instead of flighty nonsense. The fact that my actual experiences with writing didn't r
#107: The problem with your sense of entitlement
Are you entitled? If not, you should be. No, not like that. I'm not talking about over-entitlement, which these days seems to be what people mean when they talk about entitlement. We don't hear so much about under-entitlement: people who allow themselves to be short-changed by life because they don't realise they should be getting more. Or, rather, we do hear about this, but we don&
#106: Do you know how much you can control?
Focus your attention on what you can control. That's what the Stoics taught us. But if you're someone who responds to every bad outcome with guilt-filled 'If only I'd ...' thoughts, you might be overestimating how much lies within your control. Don't worry - we can fix that. Grab a cuppa and sit down with your Imperfectionist friend for the first solo episode of 2025.
#105: Professor John Sellars on how to live like a Stoic
Have you ever wondered whether Stoicism might help you manage the stresses of modern life and find peace and satisfaction despite things being far more imperfect that you'd like? Have you ever wondered what Stoicism even is, other than a source of motivational poster slogans and the inspiration for 4-minute-read online articles called things like 'Use These 3 Stoic Hacks to Put Out Your
#104: Kate Ahl on what academics talk about in therapy
Friends, you are going to feel so SEEN in this episode. Kate Ahl is an integrative psychotherapist who has spent her entire life living and working with academics. She spent several years as an in-house therapist at Cambridge University, where she helped researchers and other university staff work through their emotional and interpersonal challenges. You might think your struggles are uniquely wei
#103: Tony Stubblebine (CEO of Medium) on how to find, build, and engage your audience
I know you love nattering about your research with your fellow nerds. But do you know how to talk about it with normal people too - without sending them to sleep or bombarding them with jargon? If this is something you'd like to be able to do but you're terrified by the idea and/or you don't know where to start, this episode is for you. My guest this week is Tony Stubblebine, CEO of
#102: Professor Stephanie Dunson on levelling up your writing process
Professor Stephanie Dunson is an award-winning scholar with over 20 years' experience as a writing process expert under her belt. She holds positions at Yale School of Management and the University of Connecticut's Department of English - and if you're thinking, 'Wow, that's quite a mix of disciplines!', that's because Stephanie's understanding of the proces
#101: Professors Thomas S. Mullaney and Christopher Rea on the absolute basics of doing research
Do you know how to turn what you're interested in thinking about into something that other people want to read about? Do you even know what you're interested in, as opposed to what you think you should be interested in? Do you recognise that boredom and feeling lost are necessary and unavoidable parts of the research process, and that you can use them to your advantage? Do you know how t
#100: What I've learned about perfectionism
Friends, it's the 100th episode! So, isn't it about time we talked about what perfectionism is, and why it's a problem? It's over 4 years since I recorded the first episode of this podcast, and I've learnt a LOT about perfectionism from the 99 episodes I've released so far - not to mention from the many hundreds of hours of coaching people I've done. Leave that u
#99: Hey! What you reading for?
It's a familiar story. We're feeling stuck and out-of-our-depth with our writing, so we decide we'll go and do a bit more reading - just, you know, to soak up some of the wisdom out there and become better informed and therefore better qualified to continue writing. But sadly, reading for these reasons ends up making us feel less informed and qualified, not more. Sometimes, when we&
#98: Guest interview! Dr Debbie Sorensen on battling burnout
When I came across Dr Debbie Sorensen's recent article, 'How to recover from burnout', I knew I had to get her on the podcast! Debbie is a Denver-based psychologist with nearly 20 years of clinical experience, specialising in burnout, chronic stress, and anxiety. Her own struggle with burnout, along with her experience helping others, make her an absolute goldmine of insight and act
#97: When failure of inspiration strikes
What do you do when you have no idea? When you literally can't think of anything to write about? I don't know why I'm asking. I already know the answer: you panic and run to your favourite productivity websites for a new hack to solve it, right? And you definitely, definitely don't tell anyone, because struggling to come up with ideas is a shameful secret that you must guard wi
#96: Guest interview! Dr David Brax on the dangers and inequalities of 'hope labour'
Have you ever thrown far more time and energy into your work than you get paid for? Have you ever said yes to a request to be on a dull and time-consuming committee because you want to show what a great colleague you are? Have you ever done too much for too little, because you hope that it will all pay off in the end when you get that secure job, that PhD position, or that grant? If so, my friend,
#95: The perfectionism-busting power of hobbies
I know you think you shouldn't be making time in your life for hobbies, what with being so shamefully behind on your writing and everything. And I know that you know that, despite this, you probably should be making time for hobbies, because in theory you do actually need to relax sometimes, you suppose, so maybe you'll consider taking up chess or macrame or ice skating just as soon as y
#94: Postcard from the Costa del Burnout
So, that last episode that didn't happen. What was going on there, then? It was burnout, friends. Followed by trying and failing to take some relaxing time off. It wasn't all in vain, though. Here are some reflections on burnout, the battle to relax, and the dangers of disconnecting from our own needs.References:Cohen, Josh. 2016: 'Is there more to burnout than working too hard?&apo
Announcement!
Nope, not a new episode this time, I'm afraid.
#93: Guest interview! Professor Joli Jensen on draining the drama from writing
Your Imperfectionist pal here has lost count of the times she's recommended Joli Jensen's mind-bogglingly helpful book, Write No Matter What, to struggling, anxious academics. So, Joli was the perfect (sorry) choice for this podcast's very first guest interview! She's here to tell you about: - The damaging myth that academia is a writing-supportive environment- How adopting a &
#92: Your writing-anxiety Sliding Doors moment
Remember that movie, Sliding Doors? Gwyneth Paltrow's character lost her job and then we saw how her life unfolded in dramatically different ways, depending on whether she missed her train or not. Your writing anxiety is a bit like this. The way you respond to your writing anxiety determines whether you'll find writing much easier or much harder tomorrow, and the day after, and the day a
#91: Sartre, 3pm, and writing off writing days
Does your writing time ever turn into a stressful nightmare? You don't make the progress you hoped in the morning, which means you need to be even more productive in the afternoon, but then you end up too stressed to start, and then it gets so late that you write the day off as a failure and promise to do better tomorrow ... except you start tomorrow stressed about how little you accomplished
#90: The surprising productivity of rest
Athletes know that if they want to improve their performance, they need to incorporate rest into their training. You, on the other hand, are absolutely certain that if only you could write for 25 hours a day (which you can't because you're a terrible person) you'd be at the top of your game. Luckily for you, your Imperfectionist friend is here to talk some sense into you. References
#89: Doubting your willpower is holding you back
Do you ever tell yourself that it's your own fault that you don't have what you want in life, because you just don't have the willpower do get it? If so, willpower is not your problem, and thinking otherwise is stopping you from flourishing. Your problem is your lack of clarity and focus about what you want. Yes, really. Now, download the shit out of this episode and have a listen.
#88: How to be a quitter
Never give up, right? Winners never quit and quitters never win! All nonsense, I'm afraid. The sensible advice is much more measured and boring: quit when it's appropriate to quit. But how do you know when it's appropriate to quit? And have we really got quitting all wrong? Listen on, friends, and find out.Here's Annie Duke talking sense about quitting on The Spark podcast. Dow
#87: You're overlooking your unique value
Did you know that your brain never devotes more than 0.5% of its power to important things like finding food, avoiding predators, thinking, perceiving, and feeling? And that this is because you're always bloody using the other 99.5% for comparing yourself unfavourably to other people? Admittedly, I just made that up - but you do spend far too much time and energy on comparison. You know you
#86: Every Academic Imperfectionist episode, summarised
I've been thinking: how might someone summarise the main bits of advice from all 85 (so far) episodes of this podcast? Gather round the virtual campfire, friends, and let's talk about those things that I can't seem to stop banging on about. They are:The reverse Golden Rule (don't treat yourself in a way that would be too disrespectful or unkind to treat another person)Understan
#85: The fundamental attribution error is ruining your life
Perhaps you're already familiar with what social psychologists have had to say about the fundamental attribution error, but did you know that it has a secret role in magnifying your anxieties about your worth? If you're prone to worrying about how everyone else in your field is more talented and smart than you are, then gather round. Your Imperfectionist friend is here to give you the re
#84: The underappreciated value of waiting for success
Where did we all get this idea that if we want to succeed, we need to go faster? And that if we haven't succeeded yet, that must mean that we're probably not good enough? Sometimes, the reason we haven't succeeded isn't that we're not good enough, but that we haven't waited long enough. And that means that doing better doesn't necessarily require being better - i
#83: How to be happy
No, not like that. I'm not talking about how to achieve the ultimate happiness, eudaimonia, or enlightenment. I'm simply talking about how to enjoy your down-time without feeling like you're doing it wrong. If you've ever looked forward to a well-deserved day off and then settled down for some serious relaxation only to find yourself consumed by anxiety about whether you'r
#82: Stop policing yourself
How well do you know yourself? Are there feelings that you have, or things that you care about, that you're in complete denial about? Trust me, there probably are - you just haven't noticed. And it's a problem, because until you can acknowledge the things that make you happy (or unhappy) and the things you care about, you can't even begin to build the life you want. Get the ket
#81: Are you trying to live a final draft life?
Are you hesitant to make certain changes in your life, like changing careers or ending a relationship, because you don't want the time and energy you've invested in your life so far to be wasted? If so, you're not alone - but you're wrong. Recognising that aspects of your life aren't working for you doesn't mean your efforts have been wasted. Your life isn't an e
#80: What are you so afraid of?
When you're procrastinating, reluctant to knuckle down and get on with your work, taking way too long to do what ought to be a straightforward task, do you respond with self-compassion and non-judgmental curiosity as you try to work out what the problem is? Thought not. Instead, you tell yourself that you're lazy and disorganised and shouldn't even have been allowed to graduate from
#79: My imperfect but adequate working day
I keep getting asked what my working day looks like. You know, as if I've cracked this whole productivity thing. I definitely haven't, but I have managed to make positive changes over the past few years as a result of making the sorts of changes I talk about on this podcast. Let me tell you about how it's all gone - not so that you can do things the way I do them (please don't!
#78: Fix your self-compassion with the metaphysics of personal identity (and an Aeropress)
Your problem with self-compassion: the one that leads you to be kind and supportive to other people, but nasty and vindictive to yourself. One reason you struggle with the 'self' part of 'self-compassion' is that you view yourself as separate from other people. But what if you aren't? What if the gap between you and others is simply too small and inconsequential to support
#77: Mediocrity is underrated!
Here we are, a third of the way through January. Have you slipped up on your new year resolutions yet? Will you be kind to yourself if you do? Or will you tell yourself that you're a failure, you can't do anything right, you should just do everyone a favour and give up now? The thing is, friend, there's a dark side to positive change. Too many of us are motivated to change for the b
#76: This is what positive change feels like
Are you a sucker for self-improvement advice that offers to overhaul your life for the better overnight, even though you know that (unfortunately) it's not that simple? Yeah, same. There's a reason you're attracted to advice like that, and there's a way to get the life you want. It's not instant or magic or even wall-to-wall rewarding, but it is possible, and it is worth d
#75: Your progress tunnel vision
Yeah, I know you're diligently working towards that big goal, and that you STILL haven't got there yet. But are you stopping to reflect on your progress along the way, and to celebrate small wins? If the answer is no, then you're sabotaging yourself, chipping away at your motivation, and generally making yourself miserable. Progress tunnel vision can keep you stuck in a loop - but h
#74: When taking on more can energise you
I know. Your life needs an overhaul, but where are you supposed to find the energy to fix it? You're struggling to keep your head above water as it is. The thing is, friend, not all demands on you are equal. The demands that are imposed on you by others exhaust you and send your anxiety skyrocketing - but those that you choose autonomously can energise you. Autonomy is important: just ask Imm
#73: How to practise being instead of doing
Look at you there, always striving, always becoming, always hustling. When do you ever get to pause and just ... be? Do you even know how? Plenty of us don't. We had no problem just chilling and enjoying the moment when we were kids, but somewhere along the way, we lost that ability. We don't know how to enjoy life any more. In which case, what's the point of any of this? Put your e
#72: Bend so you don't break: a stress survival guide
Just as trees aren't meant to remain stiff and unyielding in the face of a storm, you aren't meant to remain efficient and relaxed in the face of mounting demands. Bending isn't a weakness; it's what you need to do to survive. But it's only your branches that need to bend - your roots need to stay put. Do you know what your roots are? Snuggle up with a cuppa for some arbor
#71: The best time to write is the worst time to write
Do you tell yourself that if only you had a day of uninterrupted time ahead of you (and, of course, the right stationery), you'd finally be able to get some writing done - only to procrastinate your precious writing time away when you do finally get what you need? Thought so. Your problem is that you wouldn't know a good writing opportunity even if it walked up to you and poked you in th
#70: How to write
Writing is why we all do what we do - or at least, a big part of it. But it's also a source of intense anxiety, whether we're new to it or whether we've been at it for years. So, here's another start-of-the-new-academic-year imperfectionist special for you. Your imperfect pal here set out to create a little survival guide for new students who want to get their essay-writing off
#69: How to read
Do you ever try to read philosophy (or some other stodgy not-designed-for-entertainment text) and find yourself struggling to understand ... well, any of it? Do you finish reading a paragraph and find that you have absolutely no idea what it was about? Does it take you an entire day just to read one chapter? Of course not - you'd never admit to any of it, anyway. Even five-year-olds can read,
#68: Plato (and Barbie) on perfection
If you won't accept anything less than perfection from yourself, I have some disappointing news from Ancient Greece. Back in the 4th (ish) century BC, Plato was telling anyone who would listen that perfection doesn't even exist in the material world - so, save your energy and lower your standards. Get the kettle on and then gather round to learn what this means for you, from Plato, Socra
#67: You owe your success to your flaws
I get it: you want to be less of a perfectionist, more confident and assertive, less of a procrastinator, and all the rest of it. These, after all, are things that hold us back - or so we often think. As it happens, though, things are more complicated than that. Those same traits that stand in your way are the same ones that have enabled you to achieve awesome things. Is there a way to get the &ap
#66: The only productivity hack you need
We all love a bit of productivity porn. What could be wrong with learning about how to get better at getting things done? Well, quite a few things, as it happens. Seeking out the latest productivity tools and techniques can be a way to mask the anxieties you have around your work. To avoid the pitfalls, you need to look inward and think about how you go about getting stuff done. Gather round, frie
#65: Reflections on a recent failure
We all hate failure. We're terrified of it. And so, when I chalked up a big fat failure a few days ago, I knew immediately that I needed to dissect it for you lot. The key lesson here? Our unwillingness to look failure square in the face is holding us back. Read Costica Bradatan's Psyche essay about Emil Cioran here.
#64: Reject work/life balance!
We're constantly encouraged to strive for work/life balance. But it's a horrible, victim-blaming, damaging metaphor, and it tricks us into thinking we should take on more than we're able to cope with. And, besides, who wants to spend their entire career balancing stuff?! Your Imperfectionist friend is here with some truth bombs about how you ought to be thinking about how to manage
#63: In defence of your comfort zone
You know that remaining in your comfort zone is basically a psychic crime, right? Like, only losers do that. Successful people are out there pushing boundaries and loving life. Bummer that, by definition, they have to spend their entire time in discomfort, but whatever. Who needs comfort when you've got self-actualisation?Sorry pals, but this is all daft nonsense. Join your Imperfectionist fr
#62: Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!
Whatever it is that you're doing and however it is that you're doing it, you're telling yourself that you're doing it wrong and anyway you ought to be doing something else instead. Right? You feel guilty even when you know you're doing the right thing. You feel guilty even before you've decided what you have to feel guilty about. Your entire mind is an immersive, surr
#61: Your productivity standards are like a 1980s fad diet
You know better than to vow, after chomping your way through your fifth slice of chocolate cake, that starting tomorrow you're only ever going to eat salad and you're going to run 10 miles before breakfast every single day, forever. After all, nobody could keep that up, right? Be realistic! But plenty of you are setting your sights on productivity goals that are just as unrealistic. Come
#60: Self-acceptance or self-improvement?
Self-acceptance is overrated, right? I mean, sure, you might feel more at peace if you could manage to accept yourself - but there's so much wrong with you, and accepting yourself would involve giving up on trying to fix all that and accepting that you're never going to be any more assertive, successful, skilled, and confident than you are now. Self-acceptance is just a fancy term for qu
#59: Hold your nose and do the scary thing
It would be great if we never felt insecure or anxious or scared when we had to do things like ask for money or refuse a request or even just get on with writing what we're supposed to be writing. But this sort of discomfort can be really hard to shift, no matter how much we work on our confidence and how many affirmations we scribble on post-it notes and stick to our monitor. It can be tempt
#58: When you're doing everything everywhere all at once
You're trying to hold down your job/studies while raising your child/pet/houseplants and maybe also doing a couple of part-time jobs but also volunteering for a handful of committees/projects/whatever. There aren't enough hours in the day to do all this well, or even adequately. How do you avoid feeling like a complete failure? Well, friends, obviously you need to drop the committee and
