War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)
The world's biggest and most ridiculous War and Peace podcast. British comedians Will and Steve do battle with the greatest book of all time.
Episodes
S10E10. Flank You Very Much!
S10E9. We Must Go, Moscow!
The enemy is at the gates, the drums are beating, the cannons are primed. The choices you make on this day could change the trajectory of your entire life, of all of Russia. Stick or twist, stay or go, fight or flight. What do you choose? What if I told you there's only one War Balloon? This is War and Peace and war is coming (even more war), and this time is personal.〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
S10E8. Let Them Eat Horse!
We're going full blown horse this week, with horse after glorious horse being named quicker than you can say "My Name Is Horse". We've got fast ones, slow ones, strong ones and even some invisible ones.It's a veritable horstravaganza and humans are not invited. Well, ok a couple of humans can come, but only if they're with their legally appointed horses and they'
S10E7. King of the Peasants
Indentured peasants, motivated by nothing more than a love of the land and a cripilingly inescapable system of debt and ownership. Poor? Definitely.Stupid? Perhaps.Violent? Only when drunk or angry.But forget what you might have heard about them down at your local gentlemans club, because this week we're joining the unwashed masses to discover first hand what they really think, believe and fe
S10E6. Now You See Me, Nasty Nick Me Not!
All good things must come to an end - like the weekend, sleeping or a bowl of nice chips. Even bad things must come to an end, like the hokey cokey, January, or a bee attack. This week in War and Peace some things are coming to an end. But are these things good things, or bad things? Or to put it another way, are they a bowl of chips, or an attack by bees, or something in between?Ultimately you
S10E5. The Tale of Two Circles
Circles, glorious circles, no beginning and no end, round as the day is long, perfect as a polished samovar at dawn.But what happens if you take the humble circle and then slightly overlap it with another circle? What then? What might happen? What could you call it? What would it do?Join us this week as we vennture into not one, but two War and Peace circles that risk overlapping at any moment.〰️〰
S10E4. Naked Dusty Flesh
The dust. It's surrounds you. In your eyes, your boots, your soul - everything is dust. Through the dust you see a vision, a vision of your home also covered in dust - the lime trees? Dusty. Your ornamental English garden? Dusty. Your family, friends and beloved colleagues? Very dusty indeed. What does it all mean? Why is this dust here? Join us this week as we breathe the dust down deep to t
S10E3. The Proud Parade of the Papier-mâché Postie and his Paper Pups
Letters, they simply must be delivered. Whatever is going on in the world the sweet, sweet postal imust flow. Join Glorious Post Person No.13 and his 3 canine steeds as we brave the best (beautiful oats) and the worst (horrible exploding bombs) that rural Russia has to offer, in order to deliver paper based information that could literally save lives.〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say
S10E2. Bread Bin Dreams
It’s a question as old as time: do nasty old men (who sleep in bread bins) dream of electric sheep?!Not following? Best to probably just listen then…Onwards!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and special episodes.〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️patreon.com/wap
S10E1. Bye-Bye Bias - Book 10 Begins!
It's time for Book 10 and we're all going to the WAPIN7 school of Extremely-Serious-Military-History! Join us as we try our best to unpick the gigantic brain of Tolstoy and discuss all things bias. Oh, and did someone say "DRAMATIC READING?!" Onwards!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including...
S9E13. Book 9 Catch Up Quiz
Get your official WAP quiz quill and parchment out of their locked golden chests and cast your mind back over this longest, and cursiest of seasons. There are litterally thousandths of points up for grabs in the Season 9 Quiz Special!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's
S9E12. Special: Beowulf
It's time to take a short break from the world of War and Peace and dive even further back in time...What happens when a local family run establishment refuses to engage with repeated noise complaints from a blood thirsty daemon? You very much *will* believe the answer. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Includin
S9E11. Surf's Up - Book 9 Finale!
Take that, Curse! We did it!! Book 9 of War and Peace is officially finished!It's time to open your favourite box of biscuits, pour yourself a delicious cup of beef tea and sit back and enjoy the mayhem. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and specia
S9E10. The Prophecy of Eggbag
Pierre's giant red hands quivered as he held aloft the parchment. He read the words again and again and even double checked his addition. There was no mistake. A bead of sweat fell from his forehead and splashed onto his baseball-glove sized hand. He leant back in his chair and began to rock back and forth repeating the same phrase over and over again, "The Prophecy of Eggbag". When
S9E9. St Peter's Bread
Bready or not, it's Peter's week! It's time to pop on your favourite Peter jumper, roll out of bread, and head on downstairs to see what baked treats St Peter has bestowed upon you. So raise a loaf and toast with us, "Merry Crustmas one and all!"It'll all make sense in the end - it always does...Dough-ho-ho!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and fi
S9E8. Harmy Army
Pour yourself a final cup of mud and saddle up your favourite pig, cow or even perhaps horse, because it's time to continue forwards, onwards, in the direction of travel! That way! Go!It's a good day to die (finally!) - the sun is shining, the orders are ready, and the enemy is present. We've got everything we need for a traumatic, poorly executed battle. Charge!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
S9E7. Retreat for a Treat
It's raining; it's pouring.The old, potentially dead man, is snoring.Nick went to war and found a pub, When exactly will we be warring?!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and special episodes.〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️patreon.com/wapin7 - Fight
S9E6. Péas de résistance
Bags. We thought we knew everything there was to know about them. We thought we'd been inside them all. But what if I told you there was one more bag, one special bag no one had ever seen before - let alone opened.What if this bag held the power to change everything? Designed by Russia's only human pea this bag could change the war, Andy Pandy, maybe even Napolean himself.Would you dare
S9E5. Bald, Bold & Bagged
Ok, so there's one giant bag and inside that bag there are 9 sub-bags. Each of these 9 sub-bags, apart from bag 9, has other smaller bags inside them - think of them as sub-sub-bags. Oh, and these bags are filled with people and each bag, including sub-bags and maybe sub-sub-bags, are in competition with each other. What are the bags and their many many sub-bags fighting for?Have a listen and
S9E4. No Pony-Poleon
Napoleon, we've seen him wild with anger, we've seen him quiver with rage, we've seen him snuff with impunity. Now it's time to see Napoleon calm as a clam - a clam that also happens to control one of the world's most significant military forces. Fresh from a light ride, and with his full-bodied narcissistic fury bottled safely and healthily inside, clam Napoleon is ready
S9E3. E'snuff's E'snuff!
We start with three noble Barry’s: Barry the Bugler, Barry the Bodyguard and Barry the Burger (horse). Will the Barry’s successfully escort their leader, who might also be called Barry, along the yellow brick road to find out who’s behind the curtain? Will they succeed? Will they successfully stop the war? Or will they each get a faceful of snuff? Whatever happens, we can all agree, it’s absolute
S9E2. Fate at the Fête
Don't be coconut shy, come on down to the WAPIN7 Fête! We've got dodgems, teacup rides and a coconut shy! Plus an area to sell secondhand goods. It must be fate. Fancy some candy floss?! Well, the machine is broken so you can't have any. Oh, and we're off to war... Again. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.c
S9E1. The Bad Shadows Are A Comin'
We're back for Book 9 and boy is this going to be bad! Not the podcast, cross our saucy little fingers, but the world of War and Peace. It's been way too long since we heard from that Napoleon chap and we really got the feeling that he wasn't quite finished last time. Plus we've had quite a bit of peace recently, which makes the title of the book quite ominous indeed.Whatever h
S8E12. Special: Winnie-the-Pooh And Some Bees
What do you get when you mix the 'wrong type' of bees, a sentient half-dressed bear with a penchant for honey and a child with a gun and a really really nice balloon? Why, you get the Season 8 special book episode of WAPIN7, is what you get!And probably an extremely serious concussion which would require immediate medical attention. Onwards!To Ashford Forest in East Sussex - to be precis
S8E11. Book 8 Catch-up Quiz
It's time for the Season 8 Catch-Up Quiz and boy do we have some questions for you! There are pictures of comets, AI-generated nightmare art, varying degrees of slug speed accuracy and of course a question about the Smurfs. How does this all link to book 8 of War and Peace? There's only one way to find out...Onwards!*Cue Gameshow Music〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello
S8E10. Comet-ment Issues - Book 8 Finale!
The time has finally come - the end of another book is upon us. Gather round slugs, worms, maggots and humans young, old and slimy as we seamlessly complete character arcs, wrap up storylines, culminate journeys literal and figurative, and generally tie up loose ends in this decisive season finale. The slug square is positively quivering with anticipation, and so should you be too. Here's to
S8E9. One Side of the Square is a Slug
What happens when you add one more side to a love triangle? What happens when one of those sides is an actual slug? A slug who was hell-bent on abducting one of the sides of the square! We promise you this all makes perfect sense. Maybe pour yourself a long drink a take a good slug...〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin
S8E8. Two Ducks, a Slug, and a Naked Priest
Incredibly attractive as they may be, slugs are typically not known for their speed or for their clever plans. Today that all changes. Prepare to meet the slug who has it all... great looks, sure (like all slugs), but also an incredible mensa level planning intellect, and exclusive access to the fastest transport system this side of Prussia. He's got everything he needs, except for one thing
S8E7. I Kissed a Slug and I Liked It!
I kissed a slug, and I liked itTaste of its slime... surprisingI kissed a slug, just to try itI hope my fiance don't mind itIt felt so wrong, it felt so rightDon't mean I'm a gastropod tonightI smooched a slug and I liked it(I liked it) 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including... (Free!) bonus conte
S8E6. One Side of the Triangle is a Worm
Slugs: the familiar garden beastie known for their gelatinous trails, unsightly appearance and voracious love of salad.19th century Russian slugs were a little different - around 6ft tall they were known to roam in pairs, using their incredible influence and good looks to lure unsuspecting victims into questionable slime related situations.Today we’re going inside the slimy mind of Moscow’s bigges
S8E5. The Devil, Some Cardboard, And His Saucepan Son
Why does the Devil have a saucepan son and why are they dancing? What's wrong with the King's arms? Why is he also dancing? Why is their world made entirely of cardboard?I wish we could answer those questions but unfortunately we just have more: why is the audience slowly getting naked, why is everyone screaming, will Natasha - or for that fact anyone - ever be happy again?We're off
S8E4. The Sauce of Sadness
If we want to understand why pure, inescapable sadness has descended on what was once a happy, albeit somewhat violent and troubling book, we must go back in time.Way, way, way back, all the way to Book 7 and ask ourselves some hard questions - what went wrong? Is anyone to blame? Could over indulgence of sauce or other condiments possibly be the culprit? Everything on the table this week, even th
S8E3. Sad, Marry, Avoid?
Sure, being sad is sad. We can't deny it. It feels bad, it feels really quite sad in fact.But what if the only way to conquer sadness is to be even more sad? What if you could have so much sadness that sadness itself would become sad and spit you out?It's a bold idea, sadness would never expect that. Join us this week as we try once again to vanquish sadness in the only way left, by flip
S8E2. The Mary Bumper Sadness Special
You thought you knew sad? You know, sad... that feeling you get when you realise you've eaten the last crisp and there won't be any more crisps tonight, or when you have a shower and the hot water runs out, or even when you're on a call and the WiFi drops off and you don't know why. Sad, very sad indeed. But it turns out things can be even sadder than that, things can get reall
S8E1. Welcome To Club Sadness - Book 8 Begins!
We're back with a sadness bomb and some problems as old as time...Can frivolous spending, clubbing and drinking to excess improve your health, mental wellbeing and outlook on life?What would you do if you had loads of money and lost your joie de vivre? Would you ride an elephant around your town to make your neighbours jealous? Would you cover yourself in dayglo paint, hit the club and read
S7E8. Special: Casino Royale
The name's Jimbo, Jimbo Secretan, Her Magesty's Ornothologist and best gambler in Britain. Yes that's right it's time for the final special episode of Season 7 - this time it's a matter of national importance and there's only one man fit for the job. He likes to drink heavily, smoke like a trumpet, and by gosh can he gamble his way out of a corner. The stakes have ne
S7E7. The Book 7 Catch Up Zoo Quiz Special (Ep. 100!)
Join us for this incredibly special centenary episode of WAPIN7 - an unbelivable milestone for us, you, Tolstoy and surprisingly the animals of London Zoo. Chosen by our Patrons, the Zoo is of course the obvious place to go for this commemorative - likely collectable - episode and it's the natural venue to host a quiz about War and Peace. We've got all the animals you might expect in a
S7E6. Supernatural Cork Kisses - Book 7 Finale!
GHOSTS, WITCHES, CLOWNS, BEARS as well as the HUMAN BEAN - we've got it all this week, as we descend deep into hell for this final episode of Book 7.You didn't expect it, we certainly didn't expect it, but yes - it's the end (already!) of the Book. But if we're going, we're going in style: dinner - yes, kissing - check, chit chat with other worldly spirits - absolute
S7E5. The Oats Don't Lie
It is rumoured that Shakira wrote her global smash hit single after being inspired by a perfect bowl of oats. The, now infamous, story goes that Shakira was so moved by the oats that she demanded a harp was bought to the table so she could express her joy and appreciation through music. Upon completion of the song; she triumphantly held her bowl of half eaten oats aloft and announced to the stars,
S7E4. Do You Bala-Like It?
You know the old saying: Hunt hard, play hard. And boy have we hunted hard.Drop your crop, hang your horn, and swap your hunting knife for an eating knife, because the hunt is over and it's time to party like it's 1799 all over again. We've got incredible new food stuffs, so much alcohol it would make Count Rostov blush, as well as some of the country's hottest open mic acts -
S7E3. He's Not My Uncle
Since the beginning of time there have been rivalries that have transcended the generations:Cats and dogsSliced bread and non sliced bread Red or white wine And many more!It's time for a new rivalry. Can any living being catch hares better than Digital Susan?Everything is on the line. *WoofAnd they're off!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly dipl
S7E2. How Many Dogs Is Too Many Dogs?
It's an age old question: How many dogs would a good dog dog if a good dog could dog dogs? Is 5 dogs the right answer? 50? Would 5000 dogs be a good number of dogs to involve?Tolstoy wasn't afraid of asking the hard questions, and neither are we. So down a pint of your best brandy, rename your favourite horse and join us this week as we go on the hunt for answers to some of the world&apo
S7E1. Homeward Bound
One is the epic and unforgettable adventure of a talking bulldog, a talking golden retriever and presumably a talking cat and the other; a tale of a soldier's rather forgettable journey home to fix his family's financial mess. Which is which?!There's only one way to find out...Onwards to BOOK 7!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat e
S6E10. Book 6 Catch-Up Quiz
We've got questions on hands, talking golden Smurf trees, archaic ultra-complicated temperature scales, bad calendars, pirate ships and somehow even a Jazz pianist. What links them all? Book 6 of War and Peace.Are you ready to put your WAP knowledge to the ultimate test? It's time to end season 6 on a big quiz bang. *CUE GAMESHOW MUSIC〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hel
S6E9. Special: Twilight
Forks, Washington gets 110 inches of rain, on average, per year. The US average is 38 inches of rain per year.A lot of rain to wash away your sins... Perhaps; perhaps indeed.Forks averages 7 inches of snow per year. The US average is 28 inches of snow per year.Why doesn't the rain want to turn into snow? Spooky. Very spooky indeed...On average, there are 131 sunny days per year in Forks. The
S6E8. Pandy's Promise - Book 6 Finale!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! Another book down. Take a bow, do a small dance, ask someone to marry you and sit in silence for exactly one year, have a pineapple or simply sit down and listen to the Book 6 Finale. There's only one thing left to sayOnwards〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including... (Free!) bonus content,
S6E7. Normal People Doing Stuff
Nothing to see here, move along, move along.It's just another standard week in War and Peace this week as the perfectly normal married humans, Vera and Berg, do utterly expected and human-y things with their normal human friends. Join us normal listener as we peer into their completely acceptable and expected lives. What will we find? Just your average humans doing normal stuff we expect - pe
S6E6. The Secret Of Happiness
Prince Andy is on the hunt for happiness but in order to find it he simply must experience ambivalence, nihilism and straight up unhappiness first.This episode is sort of like a football match. But instead of two teams playing football, it's actually happiness and sadness sort of fighting each other. The winner gets to be the king of all football... Yeah, it's not really like that at all
S6E5. The Dance of Destiny
We've been to soirees, parties, even a casual ball or five during our time with War and Peace. We've watched as The King of Sauce set the dance floor on fire, we've seen kids doing backflips to impress other kids, we've applauded out of fear and amazement as the Blunt Dragon devoured people whole. Truly we thought we'd seen everything that high society Russia had to offer.
S6E4. Will You Money Me?
Some marry for love. Some marry for a protracted negotiation around dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options. Some choose not to marry because they don't love someone. Some choose not to marry because the dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options aren't optimal in the current economic climate and the return on investment will be subo
S6E3. Dear Diary
Dear Diary,My name's Pierre and I'm in my 20s, maybe early 30s, I'm not really sure. I've had a strange few years, I swapped my wife for a pile of bones and then I built a hospital out of money and sticks. Now I'm a senior guy at a pretty cool secret club, they think I'm pretty cool, but I'm starting to worry all the blood and arguments might not be as great as I
S6E2. The Whole World In His Hands!
All together now!He's got the rights of the people, in his hands!He's got plump white hands, for his hands!He's got a strange way of talking, in his hands!He's got the whole world in his hands!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and sp
S6E1. Hot Hot Spring - Book 6 Begins!
We’re back! It’s officially Volume 2, it’s officially 1808, it’s officially spring. Indeed, the spring has never been springier in this spring-time spring spectacular. Peel off precisely one layer, go for a walk, and get ready to feel the full force of spring’s power.Chirping birds - check.Blooming flowers - check.Talking trees - check.This is going to be the best damn spring of our entire lives.〰
S5E13. Special: The Murders In The Rue Morgue - Part 2 of 2
You've been hanging on to that cliff for too long! It's time for us to set you free and reveal the murderer! Or MURDERERS!!This week it's all about windows and doors and locks and nails and hair but mainly windows and locks and doors and did we mention windows?!Get ready for the payoff of to the world's FIRST detective story. You're not going to believe it...〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
S5E12. Special: The Murders In The Rue Morgue - Part 1 of 2
Move over Sherlock, pipe down Poirot, check yourself Miss Marple - there's a new detective in town and he's the real og.This week we meet the incredible deductive mind of August Dupin - a sexy, forceful and profoundly arogant amateur detective cleaning up the streets of Paris with nothing more than his wit, his assistant and his incredible telepathic abilities. Written by Edgar Allan Poe
S5E11. Book 5 Catch-Up Quiz
You look down at your large red powerful hands. You clench one into a fist and pump it triumphantly into the air! You've finished Book 5 of War and Peace and rightly want the world to know about. "What next?!" You scream."I need more!!"It's time to put your knowledge of Book 5 to the ultimate test. We've got questions about: bones, hands, horses, Smurfs and Free
S5E10. Peace out! - Book 5 (+ Vol 1!) Finale
It's the end of Book 5 AND the end of Volume 1 of War and Peace - and there are just so many unanswered questions:Will Denisov escape the law?Will peace last forever?Will the surfs ever truly be free?Why was that hospital so awful?Will Nicky get an arbitrary promotion for no reason in particular?Where did all those bones come from?Who the hell stole all the biscuits?What was that tiny monkey
S5E9. Dress Down Friday
Casual clothes day, dress down day, own clothes day, free dress day, non-uniform day, uniform free day, wear what you want day...Whatever you call it, it might be a day you look back on fondly, remembering that time you wore your favourite jeans to school and everyone said "great jeans". Or perhaps it's memory you've locked deep in your memory shed because of the time you wore
S5E8. Laughter is the Only Medicine
🇺🇦 How to support the people of Ukraine 🇺🇦Support from the UKSupport from the USOther ways to help from your country〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at:patreon.com/wapin7Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and special episodes.〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️We've had mustard plasters, hot beef tea and leeche
S5E7. Mud, Blood, and Biscuits
If you've assembled an IKEA cupboard or two you'll know how essential good, clear instructions are. They really can make the difference between having an attractive, sturdy cupboard, or finding yourself poisoned, shot and starving after a monumental argument. This week we're opening a couple of WAP instructional manuals - first we'll be leafing through "How to build your f
S5E6. Pierre's Perfect Pilgrim Party
Pierre the perfect pilgrim pleaser pleases pilgrims perfectly in this week's perfectly priceless episode of WAPIN7.PAUSE!"Pierre? Perfect!? " You proudly protest!Well yes! Pierre is a perfect, polished, patient, professional, pleasant, punctilious and perfectly perfect player and it's about time everyone knew it!Preach! 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and
S5E5. Free The Smurfs
This week we're talking Serfs - the indentured workforce of 1800s Russia, bonded to a lifetime of hard labor for zero pay as they slowly die from preventable diseases in their rat infested hovels.We'll be asking "Is that really that bad?" and hearing things like "Maybe my Serfs are actually having a great time?" as well as "Even if it won't cost me much to s
S5E4. Meta Letter
We just got a meta letter!I wonder who it's from?A letter inside another letter!I wonder who it's from?!A letter longer than time itself...I wonder who it's from!!A special special meta letter that's super extra long!WHO IS IT FROM?!?! JUST TELL ME!There's only one way to find out...〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat ext
S5E3. St. Partiesburg
Warm up your mouth, polish your teeth and fill your lungs because it's time to party! Yes that's right, you are invited to another sensational Anna 1 get together where your hips absolutely will not do the talking, but your lips certainly will. Prepare to chat, schmooze, and wag your chin all the way to the top as you compete with the greatest small talkers in all of St. Petersberg. Will
S5E2. Think About It!
We've all joined ultra secretive societies before. We all know the drill: box of bones, blindfold, various sets of gloves with incredibly specific uses, a trowel, some aprons, secret hieroglyphs, an unknowable mystery, various states of undress and of course a very very very large bill to be paid immediately!For those of you who haven't joined a secret society I think you're in for
S5E1. Parlay With The Pirate King - Book 5 Begins!
Ahoy me hearties! What better way to start Book 5 than with an old sea shanty!One sad man in a very sad placeYo ho ho and a bottle of vodkaEnter the Pirate King with a large round faceYo ho ho and a bottle of vodkaWho is the Pirate King? What does he want? Why is he yelling? Why does he only eat tiny bits of sugar?There's only one way to find out...It be time to walk the plank!〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰
S4E10. Special: The Monkey's Paw
What happens when you take a boring old monkey paw, fill it with magical evilness and exactly three wishes, and give it to an unsuspecting family who like playing chess and listening to the wind? Will they wish for world peace? Will they wish for the world's best clown?Will they wish for more paws?There's only one way to find out..."Monkey Paw, I wish for a special episode of WAPIN7
S4E9. Book 4 Catch-Up Quiz
You've finished book 4 of the greatest book of all time! You're feeling proud, brave and completely diplomat. You howl with pride. Howl like a recently cursed werewolf singing his heart out at the clavichord. Just as you reach the crescendo of your happy wolf song it dawns on you... Do I actually remember anything?Well do you?!It's quiz time! We've got questions about 13th cent
S4E8. The Last Song of The Werewolf - Book 4 Finale!
Ancient Russian legends speak of an old curse.It is said there is a man, human at a glance, but listen to him sing and you will hear the beautiful and sad voice of a wolf. This half man, half wolf, is older than time itself. Through the millenia he has sought but one thing, one thing that could finally release him from his furry prison - true love.Who is this beast? Will the curse finally be broke
S4E7. The Big Ping Pong Punt
The first rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket cards is: you do not talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket-Cards. The second rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards: you DO NOT talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards!Third rule of Fight Club, sorry Ping-Ping-Cricket Cards: if someone yells “stop!”, goes limp, or taps out, the Ping-Pong-Cricket Card game is over.Theres only one question, 'Are you afraid to play?"Everythin
S4E6. 2-4-1 @ Iogels
TONIGHT @ IOGELS Moscow's Hottest Club 1806Get ready YOUNG PEOPLE for the biggest night of the year: the alcopops are flowing, the beats are gnarlier than Napoleon, and the dance moves are completely diplomat! Yes it's SINGLES NIGHT at IOGELS. Don't miss out, book your tickets now. GUEST LIST ONLY. ALCOPOP FOUNTAIN. DANCE COMP.〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️Support the show, say Hello, a
S4E5. Ok, Maybe One Funeral
We've had some good times over the last 64 episodes haven't we? We've laughed, we've loved, we've danced the Cooper. Absolutely, there was a small amount of horrifying war, and just a touch of mindless violence. But overall, it's been a lot of fun. But as the saying goes, sometimes life gives you pineapples, and sometimes life drops hundreds of huge, sad, pineapples o
S4E4. No Weddings And No Funeral
Shy Moscovite Pierre (Hugh Grant) meets Moscovian Hélène (Andie MacDowell) at their own wedding and enjoys several months of marriage to her. The next time they meet, at their own house, Hélène is accompanied by a poor but amusing lover Dolokhov (Corin Redgrave), leaving Pierre heartbroken. Never mind, with the bald hills on the horizon, there's still time for him to win the love of his local
S4E3. I Challenge Thou!
The party continues! As guests greedily sup turtle soup and toast every single person in Russia a storm is brewing...Not a literal storm, like a storm, but an internal storm. What happens when a massive man with long sad hair and giant healthy red hands is pushed to his limits? Will he explode like a large massive bomb; or will he just sit there looking all sad and red? Retribution is coming.〰️〰️〰
S4E02. Time For Toast
Dear Listener,You are cordially invited to an evening of fine dining, amusements, and powerful dancing at The English Club.In attendance will be one SPECIAL GUEST plus Russia's oldest and wealthiest men, and of course me, the sauciest boy in town Count 'Sauce guy' Rostov. Truly it is not to be missed.Over 18 delightful courses we will travel the culinary world, consuming everything
S4E1. Would Thou Pass The Jelly? - Book 4 Begins!
Say goodbye to Season 3 because it's time for Season 4! The war is having a well deserved holiday. It's tired from all the retreating and endless bouts of foggy mist and misty misty fog. Even though we're far from the front lines of the actual war there is still a war... but this war is a war between rigid social norms and being honest to your feelings. In a literal sense it's
S3E14. Book 3 Catch-Up Quiz
It's that wonderful time of the season... QUIZ TIME!What can you remember from book 3 of War and Peace? It's time to don your finest velvet reading cape, pour a large glass of steaming hot beef tea and retreat deep inside your memory shed. We've got questions about mailboxes, fog, the 1971 film Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory and of course some questions about book 3 of War an
S3E13. Special: Pride and Prejudice - Chapters 1 to 3
It's the early 19th century and a handsome single chap with loads of dosh has moved in just round the corner. There's only thing to do: gossip.Dust off your reading cape, iron your finest party hat and check the tires on your chaise because we're going to a party!Who will do the most backflips? Which daughter will be the best at potentially being married? Who will put the evil Mr Da
S3E12. What Is It Good For? - Book 3 Finale!
We wanted it to be on. We waited for it to be on. Now it's actually on, and it might be better if it was off. Can we change our minds?Last week we were left desperately hanging from the literary cliff, and this week we're boldly letting go. Join us as we descend through the soup-thick fog in search of answers... Who is dead? Who is alive? Have we completely lost? Did Daddy ever make it t
S3E11. It Really, Really, Really Is On!
Where once there was fog, or maybe dense mist, but probably definitely fog, now there lies smoke. Like an incredibly dense super-fog, the smoke hides all it touches... Has the averagely tall Napoleon's dastardly plan paid off? Is everyone dead? Will the Russians find their way out of this hyper-fog-mist-smoke-hybrid? We'd be lying if we said it wasn't on. It really, really, really i
