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Parenting Teenagers Untangled: The award-winning podcast for parents of tweens and teens, offering realistic, science-backed
Parenting Teenagers Untangled: The award-winning podcast for parents of tweens and teens, offering realistic, science-backed
Parenting Teenagers Untangled is an award-winning podcast hosted by Rachel Richards, a teen parenting specialist and former BBC correspondent. The show offers realistic, science-backed advice for parents of tweens and teens, emphasizing curiosity and self-compassion over perfection. Rachel shares personal experiences and practical strategies to make parenting teenagers less stressful and more enjoyable.
Episodes
The important parent shift: becoming a mentor to your teen
Ask Rachel anythingWelcome to a special mini-series from Teenagers Untangled — seven simple, practical "parenting seeds" to plant over a week, preparing for when your child moves into secondary school or returns from summer. These are gentle shifts, not rules to perfect: They're designed to help you focus on what really matters, and reduce your stress. They'll help you to move
Parenting Teens Top Tips Announcement + Vintage Reading Festival Advice
Ask Rachel anythingAnnouncing my summer top tips series where I give you a short episode of tips organised around themes to help you focus on what you and your tween or teen needs to prepare you for the new school year.Make sure you’re following the show to ensure you don’t miss any and if you want to get them early and have the tips delivered weekly directly to you just click here Send me the fre
The talk about money most parents leave until too late
Ask Rachel anythingSeven in ten teenagers say they're very or extremely interested in investing. Not just curious, genuinely, actively interested. The problem is that most of us parents didn't become aware of investing until we were young adults or older, and half of parents say they wish they'd started sooner. That's a regret a lot of us are carrying around quietly, and withou
School Stress and Exams: The Secret to Parents Helping Teens and Tweens Thrive
Ask Rachel anythingExam stress — are your teen’s exams quietly overwhelming them (and you)?In this episode of Teenagers Untangled I spoke with Katherine Radice, author of The Parent’s Guide to Exam Stress, to explore:* Why teens withdraw and how parental questions can shut down conversations about school* What makes exams uniquely stressful (risk, public outcomes, long timelines)* How parents can
The Life Skill Parents Forget to Teach: Engaging in Society
Ask Rachel anythingWho's teaching our teens how to be good citizens; someone who feels a part of society and enagages meaningfully in creating a world we all want to live in rather than someone who just buys stuff?In this episode I talked with Lindsey Cormick, political scientist and author of How to Raise a Citizen, about why we parents must see it as our job to raise capable, engaged citize
What's a Good Parent? A Bonus Episode in Which I Ask My Own Teenager
Ask Rachel anythingIn this bonus episode Amelia and I discussed how hard it is to get parenting right, focusing on the misconceptions of gentle parenting and the importance of setting high expectations with support. The full listen to the full episode and read all of my thoughts on it by clicking here. It doesn't cost you anything, it's just a better place for me to store it.We thought i
What Teens Are Trying to Tell Us: The Crisis of Connection and Masculinity
Ask Rachel anythingWhat are we really telling boys about how to be a man? And why do so many teens seem to be struggling with how to be in the world, from masculinity to friendship, and mental health?In this conversation with Professor Niobe Way (NYU developmental psychologist, author of Deep Secrets and Rebels with a Cause), we dug into 40 years of research with adolescents. Her work is extraordi
The Hidden Problem of Teen Gambling — and What Parents Can Do
Ask Rachel anythingThere's been an alarming rise of teen gambling, according to Commonsense Media, with half of 16-17-year-old boys reporting gambling in the past year; surpassing alcohol, nicotine, and marijuana use.Commonsense media says 'we're at a pivotal moment for boys' well-being. We can either let gambling become normalized during a critical period of their development,
Parenting Thriving Teens using Science
Ask Rachel anythingIf you’ve ever looked at your teen glued to a screen, living on junk food, or melting down over “nothing” and thought, What am I doing wrong? — this episode will change how you see everything.In today’s fast-paced, often overwhelming world, understanding how to foster resilience, well-being, and cognitive development is key to raising thriving childrenToday's guest, Dr Katy
Prepare for the Inevitable: The Guide to Grief for Parents of Tweens and Teens
Ask Rachel anythingParenting tweens and teens is challenging enough, but when someone in the family becomes seriously ill or dies, it can feel overwhelmingly difficult. In all honesty, we Westerners are terrible at talking about death, often avoiding it, so when it comes to talking with teenagers about the subject most of us don't feel equipped.Many who have suffered a loss, or are suffering
The Vital Skill Parents Can Teach Teens and Tweens: Critical Thinking
Ask Rachel anythingClick here for my blog post and summary of the core skillsOur teenagers are growing up in a world saturated with information, outrage, and algorithms designed to keep them scrolling. As parents, it can feel overwhelming: How do we help our kids navigate AI, social media, fake news, and online manipulation—without either over-controlling them or throwing up our hands?In this epis
Parenting in High-Conflict Homes: Protecting Your Kids When Your Partner Won’t Change
Ask Rachel anything“My husband is highly critical of the teenagers, gets angry over little things and yells, so I’m having to make up for his behavior, and I often avoid involving him in parenting decisions."This message came into my Substack. It was a plaintiff request for support and a plea to know how others deal with the problem. When I posted it (with her permission), a flood of parents
The Manosphere for Parents of Teens: Signs Your Son Is Being Influenced (and How to Respond)
Ask Rachel anything“Is my son secretly being taught to hate women?”If you’ve ever heard your boy casually repeat a line from Andrew Tate… seen him disappear into his room with his phone… or wondered what on earth he’s absorbing on TikTok and YouTube, this episode is for you. The manosphere is grooming boys to believe women are the enemy—and most parents don’t even realise it’s happening. In this c
‘Lazy’ to Motivated: Parenting Revision, Homework & Exams. Hear a Teen On What Really Helps
Ask Rachel anythingIt's exam season and so important to keep a steady ship with all of the stress in the house. I thought it would be a great time to interrupt my youngest, Amelia, for an honest chat about what she sees as both good and bad strategies for supporting teenagers through exams, and homework; particularly those with dyslexia and ADHD. We wanted to give parents hope, an honest insi
Parenting teens for connection not perfection
Ask Rachel anythingSo many parents of teens quietly worry that they’re “failing” — not doing enough, not staying calm enough, not getting the outcomes they hoped for. This episode is an invitation to step off that perfectionist treadmill. Instead of parenting for perfect grades, perfect behavior, or perfect choices, we explore how to parent for connection: building daily rituals of togetherness, m
Parenting Teens Through Love & Heartbreak: What we do wrong and what helps
Ask Rachel anythingWhen parenting teens through their first experience of love and attraction it can bring up a lot of feelings we thought we'd neatly packed away; the intensity of that first crush, the humiliation of not being chosen, the heartbreak that felt like it would swallow us whole. As a parent trying to support our kids through it can be tricky because our teens’ first love stories
Parenting teens through failure and on to university
Ask Rachel anythingA listener parenting a teen son wrote to say both of them felt pretty stunned when he was rejected from the university he'd set his heart on. She asked for the best way to help our teenagers cope with this sort of disappointment. I thought it was a great question and a good opportunity to also look at how we parents can best navigate when our teen has worked for years towar
Parenting Teen Boys In The Age of the Manosphere - Vintage
Ask Rachel anythingParenting teen boys wrote three years ago asking us to discuss how we can talk to boys about influential online figures like Andrew Tate. The 'bros' act both as an inspiration to achieve great things, and a lightning rod for disgruntled men who blame feminism for their ills and cheer on his particular form of aggressive misogyny.Now that Louis Theroux has shone a light
Cutting it as a parent? Parenting teens as a surgeon, author and mother of four with Gabriel Weston
Ask Rachel anythingIf you’ve ever lain awake at night wondering whether you’re getting this parenting thing horribly wrong, you need to hear this conversation with surgeon and author Gabriel Weston.Gabriel is a mother of four – including tween twins – a prize‑winning writer and a working surgeon. She talks with disarming honesty about:How she parents without pretending to be endlessly patient or p
Parenting teens in an age of AI, Nudes and Online Blackmail
Ask Rachel anythingThere's been a dramatic increase in reports of grooming, sextortion and AI generated child sexual abuse material in recent years, and most parents believe politicans and technology companies aren't doing enough to protect kids.The UK government recently announced that makers of AI chatbots that put children at risk will face massive fines or even see their services blo
The Thing Parents, Tweens and Teens Need Most: Mattering with Jennifer Breheny-Wallace
Ask Rachel anythingBeneath all of the noise when it comes to parenting teens comes mattering; the deep human need to feel valued beyond achievements. It's something we all need, but are we getting it?The new book by Jennifer Breheney-Wallace focuses on "Mattering," discussing how societal pressures, particularly on teenagers, exacerbate this need. She emphasizes the importance of ad
Parenting Teens So They Don't Stop Talking to Us When They're Older
Ask Rachel anythingWhen Brooklyn Beckham publicly announced he didn't want to reconcile with his parents he was joining a painful catalogue of family stories that have gone wrong. Estrangement is reportedly on the rise in Western societies but what's behind it? Dr Joshua Coleman spends his life working with estranged parents so he sees, first hand, the main factors that can lead to it. H
Tween and teen parenting for a healthy body image, and getting teens to do chores. Vintage
Ask Rachel anythingFor all of the tips click here:https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/p/how-to-talk-to-your-teen-about-bodyhttps://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/how-to-get-your-kids-to-do-their?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=post%20viewerA healthy body image: Feeling happy and satisfied with your body and what it can do. An unhealthy body image: Highly self-critic
Intense tween and teen friendships and the most important things a parent can say
Ask Rachel anything'Early adolescence is a friendship meat grinder, and your kid will eventually find their people,' according to Megan Saxelby of Wild Feelings. But oh boy it's tough! Megan wants parents to know that using words like “dramatic” to describe genuine social pain can accidentally give us permission to dismiss their emotional reality and teach our kids that their exper
Positive Parenting: Using Strengths to Motivate and Understand our Tweens and Teens
Ask Rachel anythingWe want our kids to do as well as possible, so when they mess up, do dumb things, or seem to be failing, it's easy to focus on their mistakes and what they should do instead. Naomi Glover, a leading applied neuroscientist and brain health specialist, says we'd get the best out of our kids by doing the opposite; focusing on their strengths.Coming from a neurodivergent
Parenting Teens Who're Online: Protecting Them From Predators
Ask Rachel anythingWhile counseling sex offenders, Anna Sonoda, LCSW learned firsthand that grooming, the prelude to child sexual abuse, is intentional, gradual, and observable. Her message to us is, we're not bad parents, we just have a skills gap and she wants to fill it. I grew up in an era of stranger danger, but the truth is the vast majority of abuse happens inside our homes, online and
How parents of teens can raise happy, successful adults
Ask Rachel anythingHint: it depends on how you define happy and successful.We all want our kids to be happy and successful but what does that mean? In today's episode, I'm joined by Giselle Goodwin, author of Can Women Really Have it All? to talk about our definitions of success and happiness, and how they impact the way we parent. In this changing landscape where what we inherit can mea
The One Thing Your Teen Really Needs From a Parent: Emotional Regulation
Ask Rachel anythingUpdated to correct the music issues at the beginning: This episode will change how you see “bad behaviour” and might just change how you see yourself, too.In this powerful conversation, with Dr Jody Carrington unpack what every parent and teacher needs to know about emotional regulation – and why you’re probably doing better than you think.In this episode, we cover:What emotiona
The secrets to real change, and parents breaking negative family cycles
Ask Rachel anythingI thought we'd kick off the new year with an episode on how building our own community of people we admire can dramatically change our future and break from a difficult past.In this episode, I talk with Mitchell Osmond, who transformed his life from financial instability, marital strife, and addiction to a thriving marriage, debt repayment, and personal health. Mitchell att
Anxious Teens: The vital role we parents can play. Vintage
Ask Rachel anythingThe anxiety epidemic:In 2020 the UK charity Mental Health Foundation surveyed more than 2,000 children and found 50 per cent of teenagers aged 13-19 were experiencing anxiety they found hard to control. Substack notes and PDF to go with this episode:https://substack.com/@teenagersuntangled/note/c-193100671?r=2u24i0&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=webhttps://tee
Parenting Teens Without Overreacting: How to handle emotions calmly - Vintage
Ask Rachel anythingNone of us likes blowing a fuse when our teen does something that triggers us, but we all do it at some point. Nicky asked us to discuss this topic after she felt she'd overreacted to bad feedback from her son's teachers. We know it fixes nothing and leaves us feeling worse than before, but can we keep smoothing it over with an apology? Click the link at the bottom to
The Parenting Gap: How Society Is Failing Dads (and Our Kids)
Ask Rachel anythingWhat's the point of fathers? Michael Ray, father and gender equality campaigner says the way they're portrayed in the media and advertising sends the impression that they are either bumbling idiots or not an important part of raising kids.It was only when Michael was left raising his daughter alone that he became conscious of how little support there is for men taking
Top Friendship Tips for Teen Girls: Lessons from Real-Life Sisters.
Ask Rachel anythingIt's our connections, whether friends or partners, that make us want to get up and face our challenges every day. So when kids start a new school, college or university it's a time when friendships become the most important thing. With Phoebe about to leave for university, and Amelia recently started at a new college we thought it would be a great time to reflect on th
Motivational feedback, a happiness hack, and letting your teen sleepover after a party
Ask Rachel anythingThe happiess hack article by Dana Millbank:https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2025/10/24/happiness-purpose-community-contribution/Checkout my Substack:teenagersuntangled.substack.comSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scroll
Christmas and other family gatherings with teens. Magic or misery? Vintage
Ask Rachel anythingWe all have traditional times when our extended families come together to celebrate, give thanks, and share the warmth of mutual love. In the UK, December is a non-stop reel of songs about 'Simply having a wonderful Christmas time', and Instagram is awash with pictures of happy celebrations. Being with our family can give us a welcome chance to relax and be accepted fo
The Parenting 'Super System' to Help Teens Stay on Task; Even Those With ADHD
Ask Rachel anythingStruggling with homework battles, school stress, or understanding ADHD in your teen? In this episode I was joined by executive skills coach Sean Geraghty—author of “I’ll Do It Later”—to unpack the real challenges (and hidden strengths) of neurodivergent teens. As someone who is navigating neurodivergence at home, I found Sean's advice on executive function, school portals a
Parenting Teens Who Can Speak Their Mind Without Fear
Ask Rachel anythingIn this episode clinical psychologist, Dr. Chloe Carmichael discusses the increasing anxiety among people about expressing their opinions due to fear of being "cancelled" or socially isolated. What she is seeing is that this fear extends beyond politically charged topics to everyday conversations and self-consorship on an increasing level.With that, there's been a
Talk to your boys: Parenting around masculinity, gaming, sexuality and emotions.
Ask Rachel anythingThere's so much talk about masculinity and how boys should be, but not an awful lot of advice for parents on raising confident, caring young men in today’s world. If you’ve ever wondered how to really connect with your son, or how to navigate the big topics of screen time, masculinity, emotions, or tough conversations about sex, consent, and technology—this episode is for y
Your Teen Is Already Using AI: How Parents can Talk About It
Ask Rachel anything"Learning is struggle, and kids need to get comfortable struggling with learning." That's according to Jenny Anderson, who spends much of her time writing about what is happening at the frontline of parenting, education and AI. She explains that the big problem for educators and parents who want the best for their kids is that Silicon Valley is trying to take awa
Mental health problems in teenagers. Parents can't just blame phones.
Ask Rachel anythingWhy is it that so many teenagers today seem to be struggling with mental health?In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Matt Richtel reveals the surprising science behind adolescent development, explaining why teens aren't 'difficult' they're doing an important job and how there's a fundamental mismatch between biological adolescent devel
Drugs: 1 in 2 teens exposed to them by 15. Parenting teens through the reality
Ask Rachel anythingTo lose a child is one of the worst things any of us an imagine. To lose him at 16 to a recreational drug is an unbearable pain. That's what happened to Fiona Spargo-Mabbs OBE, but she has turned her pain into an incredible quest to turn her 'I wish I'd known', suffering into a book, a drugs education foundation, and support for all of us parents so we never
Grief, university, rules and consequences, raising boys, chores and phones. Community Catch Up
Ask Rachel anythingFor this Sunday catch up I was joined by Susie Asli to discuss the challenges of parenting during times of personal loss, such as the death of a pet or a parent. We share our experiences of our children’s different reactions to grief and the importance of allowing them to grieve in their own ways. We also talk about the transition to university, the generational differences in p
Most teenagers aren't getting enough sleep. Here's how parents can fix it.
Ask Rachel anythingSleep's a FREE performance-enhancer, so why are so many teens not getting enough?For us parents, sleep is the thing we all obsess about when we first bring our babies home, but if you're anything like me by the time they hit teens we've become pretty lax around that solid bedtime routine. In fact, research shows that around 2/3rds of teenagers aren't getting
Parents teens and tweens in a way that keeps them from developing eating disorders.
Ask Rachel anythingWhatever food fears we've inherited, or learned, will be passed on to our kids unless we understand and challenge our beliefs, according to food psychologist, Dr Anna Colton. As she rightly points out, fear-mongering about killer bars or toxic foods is way more dangerous, long-term, than the food itself.In this episode we talk openly about my own struggles with my family&ap
Parents, stop pushing your kids: The science of success, resilience, and reduced stress.
Ask Rachel anythingIs your kid stressed or lacking motivation? What if the antidote was pushing them less and giving them more of a sense of control over their lives? It doesn't mean giving up your authority as a parent. As elite teen coach, Ned Johnson, explains the science tells us we can help our child sculpt a brain that is resilient, and ready to take on new challenges if we stop taking
Transforming difficult, disruptive teens
Ask Rachel anythingWe all want our kids to feel they belong and have purpose, but what simple things can we do at home and in schools that will help them develop what they need?In this interview you'll hear so many great tips we can put in place at home that will help our kids thrive. In 2007, Tish co-founded Jamie’s Farm with her son Jamie, a teacher and farmer.LINK: https://jamiesfarm.org.u
Conflict resolution skills for parents of teens. Vintage.
Ask Rachel anythingConflict is normal - but it often escalates during teenage years because our kids are trying to assert their own wishes, and probably aren't very skilled at it.As parents, it's easy to fall into classic conflict traps if we don't have the skills for resolving disagreements.In this episode we talk about the key techniques we can use - and teach - to ease tension an
Teens Talk: Parents listen. The good and bad of smart phones and social media.
Ask Rachel anythingFREE GUIDE: HOW TO THINK THROUGH DEVICE USE FOR YOUR TEENShttps://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/teens-and-screens-the-big-hug-teenagersSmartphones can be massively problematic in the hands of the young, mainly because of what kids can access through them. Social media can have a magnetic pull for adolescents who're trying to figure out their identity and fit in
School Problems: Parenting teens through education issues
Ask Rachel anythingWhen things go wrong at school parents are bound to feel stressed, wanting the problem to be resolved as soon as possible. But - in the UK at least - the current complaints system is "working for no one", according to the Government's Education Secretary.Jason Elsom, CEO of charity Parentkind, says there's been a surge in parental complaints, that are being a
Mental Health, and Teen Phone Use with Oxford Psychologist Lucy Foulkes.
Ask Rachel anythingHow we parents manage technology in our homes, and what we put in the hands of our kids, has turned into one of the most hotly debated topics amongst parents and experts. In this episode, I talk to Dr. Lucy Foulkes, Oxford academic psychologist and author, about social media’s role in adolescent mental health, challenging the narrative popularized by Jonathan Haidt and exploring
Lessons in parenting from adult kids who go no contact:
Ask Rachel anythingDo you ever worry about losing touch with your kids as they grow up? In this episode of Teenagers Untangled I'm joined by Catherine Hickem, a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and founder of Parenting Adult Children Today to explore the growing issue of family estrangement.Catherine is leading a conversation around one of the most overlooked family dynamics:
Teens, screens and mobiles: The online safety expert's view of bans and boundaries.
Ask Rachel anythingThe latest narrative around online safety, phones and devices, is pushing for bans to keep our kids safer and happier. The idea is to give them back their childhood and prevent them from accessing harmful content. Catherine Knibbs, a child psychotherapist and cyber trauma expert argues in her latest book that social media bans won't work because we can't even properly
Why Parents Judge Each Other — And How to Stop.
Ask Rachel anythingJudgment can be both useful and harmful. When it works well it's a safety mechanism for keeping kids from being harmed. When it works badly it can create feelings of shame and fear which stop parents reaching out for help, cause us to doubt our instincts and miss the vital importance of connection with our children. Sometimes, our fear of judgment can even paralyse us paren
Why Mothers Aren't Happy: Burnout, Mental Load and the Second Shift.
Ask Rachel anythingWomen's happiness has been in decline since the 1970's despite increased freedoms and opportunities, says Dr Giselle Goodwin. I've you've ever felt burnout out and the sense that you're somehow failing at being a woman and a mother you'll have a sense of it happening, but you may feel guilty, particularly given the opportunities we've been give
Angry teenagers: Parenting teens and tweens through their anger - Vintage.
Ask Rachel anythingWe all loose our cool sometimes. but teenagers can find it particularly challenging to stay calm or calm down when enraged. It takes self-awareness and skill, and a level of brain development that just isn't there for some of them.One listener contacted us for help with her son who is being goaded by friends at school and getting into trouble for losing his temper. We talk
Parenting teens with boundaries that actually work: Vintage.
Ask Rachel anythingHaving kids can seem like a non-stop obstacle course trying to get another living being to do things, whether for their own good or our own sanity.Getting the right balance between love and discipline is incredibly tricky, and for many of us it's a constant haggle.So what do the experts say about it? What works, and what about the teenager who doesn't seem to care?READ
Motivation: The parent's guide to motivating a teen or tween: Vintage.
Ask Rachel anythingWe'd all love our children to breeze through school, enjoying a satisfying academic life, having lots of friends, and coming out at the end feeling a success. But what if you have a child that doesn't thrive in an academic environment? What if they can't or won't do the work? How do you deal with it and what techniques can you use to motivate them?According t
Alcohol. A Smart Parents' Guide to Helping Teens Take a Healthy Approach.
Ask Rachel anythingMore than half of kids who've drunk alcohol under the age of 15 in the UK were offered it by their parents. Alcohol has been proven to cause seven types of cancer, according the World Cancer Research. According to other research, the earlier kids try alcohol the higher the risk they'll indulge in binge drinking and any alcohol-related harm.Parents don't want to ha
Talk: How to talk so your teenager will listen, and teens wanting to sleep together.
Ask Rachel anythingRemember those years when your child followed you everywhere, and gazed at you with adoring eyes because you knew everything? Have they now turned into a teenager who simply grunts, or screams at you, when they occasionally emerge from their bedroom?Changes in a teenage brain help them to develop abstract thinking and self-reflection but they also make them hyper-critical and ke
Puberty, toxic friendships and 'Pick me' girls - teens talk.
Ask Rachel anythingIt's a rare luxury to have both my girls available for half an hour to record an episode, and when I do I love to talk about listeners questions. Poor Amelia had a really bad cold, but she was still keen to help, so sorry about the sniffles.This time we talked about:Puberty and Body ChangesHelping girls navigate early stages of pubertyDiscussing body changes with daughtersA
Starting University: Parental support that makes all the difference.
Ask Rachel anythingLong term listener, Cathy, has asked us some very heartfelt and important questions about how to support her teen at university. It's an excellent topic for us to tackle since Susie currently has one at university, I have one about to go, and two who have already graduated, one of whom gave me some excellent tips.It's a topic that evokes mixed-emotions for everyone.Her
Stop a downward spiral before it happens with Dr Greg Walton 'One of psychology's greatest'.
Ask Rachel anythingWouldn't it be great if we knew when and how we parents and teachers can make a massive long-term difference by doing something relatively small? What if we could catch those moments that might set off either an upward or downward spiral, and help our kids find the best path?Well, that's what this episode is all about. Dr Gregory Walton has been described as 'one
Teen love, breakups & LGBTQ: What parents can do and say.
Ask Rachel anythingFirst love can be immensely powerful; a profound and unforgetable journey that shapes who we are. It teaches us about intimacy, boundaries and heartbreak and as parents it challenges all of our skills and perceptions.In this episode my daughter, Phoebe, offered to talk about her first experience; what it taught her, how it changed her, and what she thinks adults need to understa
Parenting teens around sex, loneliness, puberty and finding hobbies.
Ask Rachel anythingIn this episode I asked Susie to come in and help me tackle some listener questions:QUESTION: After a recent chat with my 13 year old daughter, I'm extremely concerned that she thinks she is ready to have sex with her boyfriend. He's 14, and they have been going out together for a few months. Gosh, they've only recently started kissing. I have been fairly relaxed
Why school exam systems need to change and how to support our own kids now.
Ask Rachel anythingThe intense, content-heavy exam system in the UK kicks off at this time of year with GCSEs and A levels; high-stakes exams that can feel like a make-or-break moment for teenagers. I've already discussed with Susie how we can support our teens through the stress, which you can download here:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/exam-revision-parenting-through-the-pressure/This
Success: Are siblings and community more important than parents?
Ask Rachel anythingWhat really shapes success — nature, nurture, luck? It's a perennial question. The Family Dynamic is a brilliant, captivating exploration of families in which all of the children became high-achievers. The award-winning author, Susan Dominus, has woven academic research into a book of wonderfully engaging family stories that tease out the role played by our environment: Par
Respect, artifical intelligence and toxic femininity - the teenage view.
Ask Rachel anythingWhen I asked listeners for their questions one stood out as a worthy of almost an entire episode: 'What does it take to respect people around you, especially your parents?'There's so much that could be said on this topic that it think I might give it a deeper dive at some point, but the insight from my teens was very interesting nonetheless.Artificial Intelligence
Secondary school, friendship groups, and those awkward talks about porn and sexting.
Ask Rachel anythingIn this episode my teens, Phoebe and Amelia, joined me in the studio to help answer some questions emailed in by listeners, and sent to me on social media. We kick off by chatting about exploring their identity and what they think is the key to gettting them out of their bedrooms.QUESTIONS:1: My 14 year old is such a lovely, talented and kind girl. She had lovely friends, and sh
Parenting teens to get them out of their bedroom, even one who's into gaming.
Ask Rachel anythingSo many parents feel a deep loss when their teenager begins to separate from them; staying in their room and behaving as if the person they used to adore is the most embarassing thing they have ever witnessed. In today's episode I brought in Anita Cleare, author of How to Get Your Teenager Out of Their Bedroom, to discuss the challenges of parenting teenagers.In her book sh
Identity formation - the main job of a teenager?
Ask Rachel anythingIn psychology, the term "identity" is most commonly used to describe the distinctive qualities or traits that make an individual unique. Identities are strongly associated with self-esteem, and individuality and - for a teenager - forming their identity is a crucial job. It's been over two years since I created the first episode looking at the topic of identity fo
Inheritocracy: Are education and hard work less important now than parents?
Ask Rachel anythingI grew up believing in a meritocracy; with hard work - and government funding of my university education - I eventually escaped a difficult home and poor schooling to succeed in journalism. But times have moved on, and the reality now is that getting a university education is no longer the gateway it used to be. In fact, according to generational expert and historian, Dr Eliza
Adolescence: Help for parents with the core themes.
Ask Rachel anythingThe mini-series, Adolescence, is a global hit, topping Netflix charts in 71 countries and amassing 24.3 million views in its first four days. It's sparked a global conversation about parenting, masculinity, and the impact of social media on young people. It's brilliance rests on holding up a mirror to everyone in society, showing us the complex factors that cause toxic
Empty nest? Plan ahead for an life that's full of possibility.
Ask Rachel anythingEmpty nest syndrome is real, and can be very painful to navigate. I've already discussed it with Susie, including ideas for how we can manage our feelings in a positive way to help us move on. https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/empty-nest-how-to-cope-when-your-teen-moves-out-also-manners-what-are-they-and-what-should-we-te/But are we looking at it in the wrong way? Change m
Work: Parents can help our kids end up with a meaningful role in society.
Ask Rachel anythingAnother day another newspaper headline that says young people aren't working.According to the Financial Times newspaper, 13.4 per cent of people in the United Kingdon in the 16 to 24 age group were not in employment education or training - “NEET” - at the end of last year.The ONS figures showed a higher rate of young men outside work or training, with 14.4 per cent of 16- t
Parenting the Teen You Have, Not the One You Imagined
Ask Rachel anythingParenting is a hard enough, but doing it in a culture that is different from the one we grew up in creates an extra layer of challenges to navigate. When it's our kids who have the greatest connection to that new culture it can be their demands that make us grow the most in our role.It might seem strange, because I'm a white woman who always spoke English and had Engli
Skin care obsession: The social media 'Sephora' kid craze from a teen perspective.
Ask Rachel anythingMost teens go through a phase of being hyper-focused on looking good; whether it's clothes, bodybuilding, skin-care or makeup. What can seem like an obsession could be a normal part of the process, so when should we start to worry and how should we step up? When Clare wrote in worried about her daughter's skin-care regime she was hoping to get a teen perspective. Here&
Parenting stages: Coaching and mentoring teens and young adults.
Ask Rachel anythingBefore I had kids I literally had no real idea of what I should expect. I think that's partly why I have spent the years as a mother panicking and reading everything; having learnt that I was wrong about how complicated the job is. Susie and I are in a similar stage with our kids but feel differently about it, so I thought it would be lovely to bring her in to have an open,
Life skills: How to supercharge them with a working holiday.
Ask Rachel anythingSponsored by JENZAPositively life changing is how I would sum up the time I spent working abroad during my gap year. I met people with a completely different world view, different language, and learnt to navigate many challenges alone. It gave me a positive, can-do attitude to life.Now my teens are 16 and 18, I want to make sure they have the confidence to meet whatever life thr
Using facts to be a good parent to teenagers: The evidence.
Ask Rachel anythingIt's one thing to get advice on how to parent, it's another to have independent studies that give real evidence on how well one approach works rather than another. Faced with raising two young kids in a COVID lockdown, social scientist and skilled researcher Matilda Gosling looked for a book that gave her advice that was based on sound evidence. She discovered that suc
Stress and guilt: reducing the overwhelming mental load.
Ask Rachel anythingStress can be a major problem for parents who're constantly juggling tasks and responsibilities. The mental load can feel overwhelming at times and the list literally never ending. So when I discovered Sam Kelly has a brilliant way to: ✅Avoid burnout.✅Have a happier home life.✅Help our kids to be successful in life.✅Avoid nagging.✅Break the old stereotypes cycle.I had to ge
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