How to Have a Bloody Good Conversation
This podcast explores the art of conversation, from dating to business negotiations. Hosted by psychologist Dr Victoria Stakelum and communications consultant Sarah Wright, it offers practical advice for mastering difficult chats and improving communication skills. The show aims to help listeners become more confident and effective conversationalists.
Episodes
You Can’t Have Good Sex Without Having A Bloody Good Conversation First.
⚠️ This episode contains adult content and is intended for mature audiences.A third of adults have never once talked to their partner about sex. Not once. Is that because we've never been taught HOW to have THAT conversation?We think so, and it's one of the conversations we struggle with too.That being a good enough reason to tackle this subject aside, here's another reason: the cost of not talkin
If we're communicating before we say a word, do we dress to impress or express who we are?
Before you said a single word today, someone had already formed an opinion about your competence, your status, and whether you could be trusted. We've all been told never to judge a book by its cover, and yet researchers tell us we do it anyway, in a fraction of a second, before a handshake, before a hello.So what exactly are your clothes saying? And more importantly, is it what you intend?In this
The Art of Rapport: How To Build Instant Connection With Anyone
Do you find talking to strangers a challenge? You're not alone.Researchers at the University of Chicago put commuters on trains and buses and asked some of them to strike up a conversation with the stranger next to them. The ones who did reported significantly happier journeys, every single time. And yet when they asked a separate group beforehand whether they’d enjoy it, almost everyone said no.
The Conversation You’re Having At 3AM (And How To Change It)
The Conversation You're Having At 3Am (And How To Change It)You know the one. It starts the moment you wake up at 3am, or maybe it’s the reason you woke up in the first place. Not good enough. Not clever enough. Not doing enough. Most of us are having a conversation with ourselves that we would never tolerate from another person. And it’s doing real damage: to our confidence, our relationships, an
The Best Conversation Is The One You Have With Yourself
What if the most important conversation you'll ever have isn't with your boss, your partner, or your best friend but with yourself?In this episode, Sarah Wright and Dr. Victoria Stakelum explore the inner dialogue that shapes everything: your confidence, your decisions, your relationships, and your ability to have difficult conversations.We unpack where your inner critic comes from (spoiler: it wa
Q&A Follow Up Episode on Emotions, Miscommunication, and Slowing Down
Why Conversations Feel So Hard Right Now: A Q&A on Emotions, Miscommunication, and Slowing DownIn this follow-up Q&A, communications consultant Sarah Wright and psychologist and mindset coach Dr Victoria Stakelum answer listener questions sparked by the episode “Why do conversations feel so hard right now?” Together, they explore why modern digital life speeds up our brains, how emotions a
Dating 101: How To Chat Up A Romantic Partner
Dating 101: How To Chat Up A Romantic PartnerIf you're dating in 2026 and wondering how to start a conversation, avoid dating fatigue, and actually find someone you're compatible with, this episode is for you.Sarah Wright and Dr Victoria Stakelum are joined by Lydia Hoey, matchmaking director at Maclynn International and a science-based dating coach, to talk about how modern dating is changing - i
Why Good Conversations Feel So Hard Right Now (and what to do about it)
Have you noticed that conversations feel more rushed, reactive and emotionally loaded than ever before? It’s not just you. That’s why, in this episode, we (that’s communications consultant, Sarah Wright, and psychologist and mindset coach, Dr Victoria Stakelum) explore the real reasons communication has become so challenging: from the speed of modern life to nervous system overload, digital discon
Series 2 Trailer
Master the art of conversation, and you’ll transform your life.From dating to doing business, negotiating a pay rise to haggling over bedtimes, conversations shape everything: your career, your connections, your confidence. But while we all learned to talk as toddlers, no one really taught us how to have good conversations, the kind where you feel heard, understood, and genuinely connected.If you’
How to Have Difficult Conversations: Why We Avoid Them and How to Stop with Storyteller Chris Adriaanse
What if storytelling could help you navigate the hardest conversations of your life?In this episode, we're joined by Chris Adriaanse, author of To The Heart of Difficult Conversations - a beautifully poignant anthology co-created with Berwick Literary Festival, Create Berwick, and students at Berwick Academy in Northumberland.Inspired by an ancient border-side plaque commemorating uneasy meetings
How to Talk to Someone Who Doesn't Look Like You
How do you start a conversation with someone from a different race, culture, or background without saying the wrong thing? It's a question that paralyses many of us in our increasingly diverse workplaces, schools, and communities. We're so afraid of offending that we often avoid meaningful connections entirely.In this episode, we're joined by Claudia McKenzie, General Manager of Park's Edge Bar an
"Sorry for Your Loss": A Grief Coach's Guide to the Conversations That Support Someone Who Is Grieving
Death is the one certainty we all share, yet most of us are terrible at talking about it. Whether it's supporting a grieving friend, having end-of-life conversations with family, or processing our own mortality, we stumble through these moments with stock phrases and uncomfortable silences.In this episode, we're joined by Kate Nolan-Burgess, a grief and identity coach who helps people navigate the
What Stand-Up Comedians Can Teach Us About Difficult Conversations
Ever wished you could think faster in meetings, recover gracefully after a misstep, or connect more confidently in tough conversations? Turns out, stand-up comedy might be your secret weapon.In this episode, we’re joined by Chris Head – comedy director, author, and speaking coach – to explore what stand-up comedians know about human connection, timing, and bouncing back from awkwardness that the r
Conversations That Get You Hired — with Midlife Career Change Coach Josh Peck
What do you do when the work that once lit you up now leaves you cold? If you're in midlife or a career cul-de-sac and wondering what next, this episode is for you. Midlife Career Change Coach, Josh Peck, joins us to unpack the real conversations that help people move from stuck to clear, and from disempowered to energised. His methods help bring you and your career back into alignment.In this ill
How to Negotiate Like a Hostage Negotiator - with Scott Walker.
What do negotiating with kidnappers and talking to your teenager have in common?Everything!In this episode, we sit down with Scott Walker, one of the world’s most experienced kidnap-for-ransom and crisis negotiators, to explore what high-stakes hostage negotiation can teach us about everyday conversations. With over 300 successful cases under his belt, Scott now trains leaders at Apple, Amazon, th
What to Say When You're Wrong
Turn Missteps into Meaningful Conversations with Dr. Victoria StakelumWe all hate being wrong. It feels uncomfortable, sometimes even threatening. But what if being wrong wasn’t something to fear but an opportunity for connection, learning, and deeper conversations?In this episode, Dr. Victoria Stakelum, a psychologist and NLP Master Coach, joins us again to unpack the complexity of wrongness - wh
Mind Reading For Beginners
How to Read the Room and Communicate Better at Work with Dr. Victoria StakelumEver wish you could read minds in meetings or knew what someone else was thinking? While telepathy might be out of reach, understanding emotions, body language, and unspoken cues is a skill you can develop - and it can completely transform your workplace interactions.In this episode, Dr. Victoria Stakelum, a psychologist
The Secret Power of Listening
How Listening Can Transform Your Conversations with Jessica BallWe like to think we’re good listeners—but are we really? Too often, we drift in and out of conversations, half-hearing what’s being said while planning what to say next. So how do we shift from passive hearing to deep, intentional listening - the kind that transforms relationships, builds trust, and even changes lives?In this episode,
Breaking Free From Groupthink
How to Speak Up and Be Heard in Any Group with Dr. Victoria StakelumEver felt silenced in a meeting, outnumbered in a discussion, or too intimidated to challenge the status quo? You’re not alone. Groupthink is a deeply ingrained survival instinct - we’re wired to stick with the herd, even when we disagree. But what if staying silent means the wrong decision gets made?In this episode, Dr. Victoria
Mastering the Meeting Minefield
How to Have Better Group Conversations with Jessica BallWe’ve all been there—the meeting that starts with good intentions but quickly spirals into chaos. Packed agendas, dominant voices, awkward silences, and a creeping sense that nothing is actually getting done. So how do we fix it?In this episode, we’re joined by Jessica Ball, an expert meetings facilitator who has worked with organizations lik
Saying No Without Burning Bridges
How to Say No at Work (and Keep Your Job!) with Dr. Victoria StakelumSaying no at work can feel impossible - especially when you want to maintain good relationships and a strong professional reputation. But constantly saying yes can lead to burnout, poor performance, and a lack of recognition for your value. So how do you set boundaries without damaging your career?In this episode, we speak with D
The Art of Conversation with Averil Leimon
Averil Leimon is a psychologist who works with companies to improve leadership and communication. She uses the work of philosopher Theodore Zeldin on conversations to curate dinner conversations, giving guests a menu of topics that pull them out of small talk and 'work speak' and start having meaningful and memorable connections.We explore with Averil just how life-changing conversations can be.Su
Do We Need To Talk About This?
Have we forgotten how to talk to each other? We communicate non-stop by email, texts, voice notes, voicemails, social media, and now AI, but when do we talk? I mean, really talk. We default to digital, the more we type the less we speak. But the more we avoid conversation the more difficult talking face to face becomes. We’ve all been there, that moment when you stumble around for what to say, or
Getting through Christmas!
It's a tricky time of year for many people thrown together with family, friends, neighbours and co-workers. Some of them welcome, some of them not. So how do we navigate this time of year when there is so much pressure on us. Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, this applies equally to any time of celebration when everyone is expected to join in. Psychologist Linda Blair joins us, a regular cont
Trailer
Have we forgotten how to talk to each other? We communicate non-stop by email, texts, voice notes, voicemails, social media, and now AI, but when do we talk? I mean, really talk. We default to digital, the more we type the less we speak. But the more we avoid conversation the more difficult talking face to face becomes. We’ve all been there, that moment when you stumble around for what to say, or
