Paper Cuts
Paper Cuts is a thrice-weekly podcast that takes a satirical and sharp look at the British national press. Hosted by Miranda Sawyer, the show brings together journalists and comedians to dissect the madness, strangeness, and obsessions of the papers, occasionally highlighting their brilliance. Regular contributors include Jonn Elledge, Grainne Maguire, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, and many others. The podcast offers a humorous and insightful commentary on the state of the media in Britain.
Episodes
Bunker crossover! – Hot Take Time Machine – The month's weirdest columns with Miranda Sawyer and Jonn Elledge
Hello Paper Cuts people! If you miss our lovely show, don’t worry. We’re getting the band back together for a look at the opinion columns, monthly on The Bunker. Paper Cuts survivors Miranda Sawyer and Jonn Elledge join Andrew Harrison to choose the weirdest (and occasionally best) columns of the month… so you don’t have to. This time: Telegraph reverse-ferrets on Trump, Sarah Vine goes H.A.M. on
Miranda Sawyer’s comeback news! – Talk ’90s to me – New podcast extravaganza!
We’ve got a big scoop for you today! Miranda Sawyer is back with a brand new podcast. Talk ’90s to me is out now and will be with you every Monday. The show dives deep into a wild decade of chaos, creativity and hedonism – from Oasis to ‘Friends’, from grunge to girl power, from Kate Moss to alcopops to ‘Trainspotting’ and beyond. Join Miranda as she meets the people who were really there for the
A taster of CRIME SCENE, our new podcast – Episode 1: Guns of London
Hello Paper Cuts listener! We all miss the good old show. Our brand new podcast CRIME SCENE is very different… but we thought you might like a taster.
Every week on CRIME SCENE, ex-Met Police Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe and former Mirror editor Alison Phillips lift the lid on how criminal investigations really work. In our debut episode: The shooting of an innocent nine-year-old girl in Dals
Goodbye from Paper Cuts — Star brands Reeves “Lettuce 2.0” — Pegging goes mainstream
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We say goodbye to Paper Cuts as the Daily Star crowns Rachel Reeves the next “lettuce.” Kate Lister adopts a new philosophy over at The i, so Miranda and Gráinne are ready to embrace the “let them” theory. Finally – at The Mail, an anonymous reader is worried about his wife’s fascination with pegging – so we've brought in Jonn to offer his sage-like
Blue Peter’s most scandalous moments – Is your town posh enough for Gail’s? – The Mail says naughty kids are possessed
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Metro lists some of the most shocking moments from kids’ TV staple Blue Peter. Meanwhile, Gail’s Bakery is taking over the bougie high streets of the UK, does yours qualify? Plus, The Daily Mail explains why kids are so badly behaved and yes, it involves their past lives, of course.
Her Royal Highness Miranda Sawyer is joined by some elite guest
“I’ve fallen for a wimp,” Liz Jones reveals– Are middle-aged men in crisis? – Fashionistas abandon ‘woke’
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Miranda is giddy to discover one final nutty column from Liz Jones in the Daily Mail. Meanwhile, Alex is concerned about the state of middle-aged men, as Stig Abell and Bryan Johnson recount their mid-life crises in The Times. Plus – Gráinne is shocked to learn that the fashion world isn’t actually woke, as The Telegraph cheers on the return of fur a
Musk steals credit for astronaut rescue – Do blondes really have more fun? – Woo-woo life lessons from Gwyneth Paltrow
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Musk hogs the glory as the stranded NASA astronauts finally return home but Jan notices that The Mail is only focused on one thing: their looks! Meanwhile, a journo at The Guardian is having an identity crisis over her ‘problematic’ blonde hair, and Miranda contemplates her 40 years as a bleach blonde. Plus, Jarv takes notes as The Times shares life
Is Rod Stewart 'Brat'? – The truth about St. Patrick’s Day – Paris fashion week on a budget
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We’ve got the Glasto lineup, and we are sick of the ‘next big thing’ and ready to embrace Rod Stewart. Meanwhile, The Times has a slightly patronising guide to St. Patrick’s Day, so Grainne Maguire has created her own Riverdance-inspired itinerary. Plus – Fashion Week may be over, but The Guardian has some cost-effective ways to look en vogue.
Mirand
Lettuce Liz’s steamy affair exposed! – The healing power of gossip – Chefs serve up revenge to critics
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Daily Mail has published a salacious account of an affair between Liz Truss and some Tory bloke. If you listen closely, you can hear the rage in Natasha’s voice. Meanwhile, The Guardian has gone White Lotus crazy and has published a wonderful column on the power of gossiping, which Grainne fully endorses. Plus – Miranda has found a brilliant piec
Can Trump bully Putin into peace? – Gen Z reinvent bunking off at work – Shocking style trend: fake nipples?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Times has Trump’s threats to Putin front and centre as the President pushes hard in peace negotiations – and Stuart feels conflicted for hoping Trump's bully boy tactics work. Meanwhile, The Guardian exposes Gen Z’s sneaky new office trick: 'taskmasking' but back in Miranda’s day, that was simply called 'bunking off.' Plus – The i’s resident sexp
Meet the hollywood "Donald Dashers" — Confessions of a Kids' footie ref
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Daily Mail is profiling the rich and famous Americans moving to the UK to escape Trump... but Jason and Jonn think the story may have some holes. Meanwhile, Coco, Miranda, and Jacob reminisce about happier times on the football field, as The i profiles a dad conflicted by his new role as a U12 ref.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by Jonn Elledge, Jacob
Ranked: The biggest Covid eff ups – The Mail goes ‘Fat Jab’ crazy – Meet the women lusting over Bigfoot
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Mirror is the only front page to mark the five year anniversary of Covid. Jason can’t quite get their head around the government's baffling response to the pandemic. Meanwhile, Sarah Vine at The Daily Mail has gone ‘fat jab’ mad, so Jonn takes a look at some of the most baffling columns around the weight loss drug. Plus – The Guardian looks at th
Trump cuts off Ukraine – Meghan’s Netflix show fallout – Meet the stage-door stalkers
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The i keeps us up to date with the latest from Trump Land, while Miranda questions whether Democrats wearing pink and holding up little signs is an effective protest. Meanwhile, The Telegraph is apoplectic over Meghan’s new Netflix show, but Coco wonders how much steam is left in the anti-Markle train. Plus – The Guardian dives into the weird and won
Daily Mail’s war on “woke” pancakes! – Our wildest tattoo regrets revealed – Meet the King’s handsome bodyguards
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Did you enjoy your pancakes yesterday? The Daily Mail didn’t because in 2025, pancakes have gone ‘woke’. Meanwhile, The Guardian reveals that elder millennials are getting their tattoos lasered off, so we compare our ink. And The Telegraph takes its obsession with posh totty to new heights by ranking the hottest royal equerries.
Miranda Sawyer is joi
Trump vs. Zelenskyy gets even the Mail angry – Grumpy middle aged men are back – Bleat it! Could lambing change your life?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Every single front page is singing Zelenskyy’s praises after his clash with Trump – but what does it really mean? Jonn breaks down the weekend that changed everything. Meanwhile, Miranda’s found a Telegraph column celebrating the return of middle-aged men – fitting, given today’s panel. Plus – The Guardian reckons city slickers should flee to the cou
Bad Bromance! Did Starmer really charm Trump? – Katy Perry is going into space? – Spreadsheets: the formula for love
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Did Keir Starmer really play a blinder when visiting Goblin King Donald Trump at the White House? Katy Perry’s all-female space trip on Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin rocket: one small step for womankind or a “look! squirrel!” after Bezos’s troubles with the Washington Post? And between the spreadsheets: are Gen Z-ers really organising their dates on Micro
Your ultimate guide to the red carpet – ‘The Way They Were’ podcast crossover!
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We’re switching things up as Gráinne and Chantal take Miranda on a whirlwind tour of their favourite time of the year – awards season! Expect behind-the-scenes BAFTA gossip from Gráinne, Chantal’s ultimate dos and don’ts for the red carpet, and a look back at a year of high-profile heartbreaks as we hold our very own award show: The Breakies.
Miran
Are the Nazis back? – Blake vs. Baldoni! Inside the Hollywood scandal! – Secret diaries of a Tory enforcer
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Guardian is reeling from the results of the German election. Jonn walks us through the outcome and explains why the Nazis aren’t back—yet. We’ve brought in Gráinne to break down why the tabloids are obsessed with Blake Lively’s Hollywood legal clash with director Justin Baldoni. Plus, The Times has published excerpts from a former chief Tory whip
“King Trump” sparks UK press fury – ”Get out my pub!” 40 Years of Eastenders – The Mail’s Viagra betrayal
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: None of the papers are backing Trump’s Ukraine plan and Marina explains why Europe should be worried about the President’s arrangement with Putin. Meanwhile, The Telegraph is calling on Gen Z to rise up and save EastEnders, as Jemma unpacks how the show has maintained its cult following for 40 years. Plus—Miranda has unearthed some top-tier middle-cl
Family fortunes! Poshos fight over big house – How's your handshake? – The fascinating world of fish
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph is naturally obsessed with an aristocratic family feud over an £85m ancestral estate. The Times does an incredibly deep dive into the history of handshakes. Plus – There’s a story about fish in The Guardian so we’ve reeled in our resident aquatic guru Coco Khan to school us.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by A list Paper Cuts talent includi
BAFTAs breakdown: The Pope vs. Wallace and Gromit – Inside the bank of mum and dad – Do we all want to be a ‘kept woman’?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Pics from the BAFTAs are all over the front pages, but Miranda only has eyes for Wallace and Gromit’s red carpet debut. The Times wonders what will happen when Boomers pass down their wealth and Zing breaks down why Millennials and Gen Z shouldn’t get too excited. Plus – Friend of the show Anniki Sommerville mourns the death of ‘kept women’ in the Da
Did Trump betray Ukraine? – "Why I slept with my son-in-law!" – The Guardian’s Valentine’s Day disasters
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph praises Trump and Putin’s ‘productive’ phonecall. Jonn breaks down why this could be bad news for Ukraine. Meanwhile, Milo and Miranda are reeling over The Daily Mail’s jaw-dropping interview with a mum bragging about her affair with her own son-in-law. Plus – The Guardian readers spill their cringiest Valentine’s Day disasters – while
Have centrist dads turned toxic? – “Oh no! Mum’s on shrooms” – How honest should your mates really be?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph reckons that centrist dads might just be the root of all evil. We’re off on a weekend trip to a magic mushroom spa for yummy mummies in The Times. Plus – The i has another great column from Kate Lister, but we’re worried she’s using it to throw some shade at one of her brutally honest best mates.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by the crème de
Minister sacked over WhatsApp chat — Play your cards right? Gen Z loves Tarot — Confessions of a toyboy
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A second MP has apologised for being part of a dodgy WhatsApp group. Natasha walks us through the leaked messages that dominated the Sunday papers. The i has a feature on Tarot cards, and luckily, our first-time guest Marjolein just so happens to be an expert in the mystic arts. Plus – The Daily Mail gives us a rare insight into the mind of a toyboy,
“Stagflation” nightmare for Reeves — Was Elvis an alien messiah? — Self care is killing our social lives
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph wants us to panic about the “stagflation” crisis, but Jonn says we should just embrace the economic vibes. The Times tells us that self-care takes over 162,000 minutes a year to maintain, and Jacob simply hasn’t got the headspace for it. Plus – Miranda is fully on board with The Guardian’s theory that Elvis was an intergalactic demigod.
Has Kanye gone too far this time? – Adrian Chiles vs. zips – The Mail’s sex survey shocker
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We look at the fallout from the Grammy Awards as Kanye West enrages the showbiz section of The Sun. Then, we check in with Britain's favourite columnist, as Adrian Chiles regales us with the tale of a broken zipper. Plus – We subject some of our beloved panelists to an awful sex survey from the Daily Mail.
Miranda Sawyer and Alex von Tunzelmann are
Starmer's European charm offensive– Bad Rep! Are men ruining the gym? – MAGA makeover! Get the Melania Trump look
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Times covers Starmer’s trip to the EU. But while the Labour leader tries to butter up Brussels, Coco fears he could end up eating some humble pie. Meanwhile, Jacob leaps to the defense of all men after the Daily Mail suggests they should be banned from gyms. Plus – The Telegraph says women should embrace the Fox News look – but Miranda isn’t sure
Is Brexit back? – Unlawful discharge: the cyber fart legal drama – Confessions of a newly single mum
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Five years since Brexit, and we bought the Daily Express for the first time to get Jonn’s reaction to their balanced coverage. Over at the Daily Mail, Miranda and Jessica do a deep dive into the court case that has captured the imagination of our great nation: The Fart Selfie Bandit. Plus – The Times has a fabulous piece from Rebecca Reid about her e
Bridget Jones: Gen Z Icon? – What is the UK’s sexiest accent? – Liz Jones catches a love rat
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Gen Z has a new heroine in Bridget Jones, according to The i. But Ava’s not buying it. Over at The Daily Mail, Liz Jones’s love life gets another plot twist, and Gráinne and Miranda’s have their popcorn ready. Plus – The Guardian is on a mission to uncover the UK’s sexiest accent.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by a star-studded lineup of Paper Cuts faves
Inside Trump’s grim first week — Can you judge a date by their dinner plate? — 2025’s hot new trend: Dressing like a yeti
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What the Southport killings tell us about Britain – "Most divisive Oscars ever"? – Gwyneth Paltrow’s Valentine's gift guide
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The front pages pay tribute to the victims of the Southport attack. Ava explains how local journalism thrived while reporting on the case. Marcus takes a look at The Telegraph’s coverage of the Oscar nominations – could the healing power of Wicked unite a fractured America, or might it cause further division? Plus, Andrew found a lovely Valentine’s D
The secret history of the Village People —Telegraph toff vs. Kneecap — Inside Spotify’s awful billion streams club
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Daily Star has an incredibly detailed history of the Village People, and Jacob Hawley has never been happier. The Guardian takes a look at the shocking list of songs that have broken a billion streams on Spotify – Ava Santina isn’t impressed. Plus, uh-oh: here comes the language police. The Telegraph shares some thoughts about how young people ar
Trump inauguration bonanza – Has America turned on Harry and Meghan? – Could a private detective save your love life?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph previews Trump’s ‘star-studded’ inauguration, and Jacob is desperate to find anything to joke about. We check out the latest issue of Vanity Fair’s to read their Meghan and Harry hit piece. Plus – Jonn and Miranda dive into the Daily Mail’s love diaries, where Liz Jones has hired a private detective to spy on her lover.
Miranda Sawyer
Are the Obamas on the rocks? – Boo hoo! Ex-Tory MPs can't get a job – Meet the Hollywood orgasm coach
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph thinks that the Obamas might be heading for splitsville, leaving Grainne inconsolable. Ava discusses the plight of ex-Tory MPs who are struggling to find work after leaving Parliament, as reported by The Times. Plus – The Mail introduces us to Mr. O, the Hollywood "climax savant." But Miranda is skeptical of his hands-off methods.
Mira
Is there a Traitor in your office? – How to avoid A.I. slop – The Guardian: “Don't sleep with your partner”
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Times has a helpful guide to spotting a traitor in your office. Is your social media feed full of weird A.I. images? We found a guide in The Telegraph on how to stomp out A.I. slop. Plus – The Guardian says you should stop sleeping with your partner to improve your life.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by Natasha Devon, Jonn Elledge, Jason Hazeley, Jac
Is Dominic Cummings really behind Musk’s war on Starmer? – Zuckerberg's very bad week – Sexy movies for women: they’re everywhere!
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Mail is giddy over a potential political union between Elon Musk and Dominic Cummings – luckily, Jonn is here to rain on their parade. Meta’s techno-specs get a test drive in The Times, but Natasha thinks a bad review could be the least of Mark Zuckerberg’s concerns this week. Plus – The Guardian celebrates saucy movies for women, so we’ve asked
Is Labour having a Liz Truss moment? – Is The Traitors too middle-class? – How to ‘half-arse’ your way to success!
We read the papers so you don’t have to! Today, The Daily Mail warns of a return to 1970s economic chaos! Luckily, Coco is here to explain why the economy is mostly just vibes-based so we should all chill out. The Guardian can’t stop talking about The Traitors, and Jack explains why the middle class are allowed to love the murder mystery reality hit. Plus, The Times says we should all ‘half-arse’
Et tu, Elon? Billionaire backstabs Farage – Fight Dryanuary, drink absinthe! – Are hairdos ruining YOUR love life?
We read the papers so you don’t have to! Today, Jason tries to wrap his head around the front page feud between Elon Musk and Nigel Farage. The Times says goodbye to ‘Dry January’ and hello to absinthe, but Miranda isn’t convinced. Plus – T2 has a fantastic column about hair, and Jonn reflects on his own life with a glorious bouffant.
Join Miranda Sawyer with comedy writer Jason Hazeley and journ
The Best of 2024
We read the papers, so you don’t have to! Today: We look back at the best stories from 2024, from Ket Mum to Pegging. Start your year off with some of the biggest laughs of 2024. The whole crew is here to celebrate the absurdity and joy of the fifth estate.
Join Miranda Sawyer, Jonn Elledge, Gráinne Maguire, Alex Von Tunzelmann, Jacob Hawley, Ava Santina, Coco Khan, Marcus Brigstocke, Rosie Jo
Year in Review part 3: The return of Trump, the Wicked cast gets weird and BRAT
We review 2024 so you don’t have to! Today: Trump’s victory in the US presidential election shocked the world, but as the dust settled, it became clear what had gone wrong for Harris and the Democrats. Miranda tells us what is and isn’t BRAT as we hail the return of the cool girls. Jan holds space for the Wicked cast as they embark on the strangest press tour of the year. Plus—Gráinne basks in the
Year in Review part 2: The Genny Lecs, Euros reaction and Britain’s riot shame
We review 2024 so you don’t have to! Today: Britain went to the polls as Jonn reminisces on the summer of campaign cringe, shock losses and Starmer’s stonking majority. Jacob talks us through the Euros and tries to figure out how the public were so angry with England’s pretty decent tournament. Plus – We discuss the wave of riots that defined the Summer as Miranda asks the most important question:
Year in Review part 1: Where was Kate Middleton?, Baby Reindeer Mania and the hopeless Tories.
We review 2024 so you don’t have to! Today: Remember when everyone had a meltdown over Princess Kate? Jack reminisces about the whole saga that engulfed the nation. Then, Miranda tries to recall all the weird stunts the Tories pulled before the election. Plus – Here’s a reminder that Baby Reindeer isn’t a Christmas classic for the whole family, as Jason examines the reaction to Netflix’s mega-hit.
Starmer vs Musk over $100m to Farage – Michael Gove in public snog horror – How to swerve family rows at Christmas
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph reports the latest on Elon Musk’s $100 million donation to the Reform Party. Ava explains how Starmer is trying to block it. Fleet Street battleaxe Sarah Vine insists she’s ‘totally cool’ with ex-husband Michael Gove’s public snog in the Daily Mail, but Alex reckons the lady doth protest too much. Plus – Just in time for the festive sea
His Royal Spyness: Prince Andrew’s China syndrome – Is Strictly the last great TV moment? – Sex and raving with mum and dad? Eww!
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Prince Andrew is all over the front pages for his poor choice of friends. The Times dishes out a step-by-step guide to schmoozing with the disgraced royal. Meanwhile, Natasha and Miranda tackle the burning question: does TV have a future after the Strictly finale? Plus – The Daily Mail has two stories about parenting, one about clubbing and the other
Starmer and Badenoch's sandwich standoff – Inside the Buckingham Palace Crimbo punch up – Winging it! The weird world of fairy erotica
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Star can’t wrap its head around Badenoch’s anti-lunch rant, luckily Coco is here to explain the great sandwich debate. Jacob spills all the gossip from Buckingham Palace’s wild Christmas bash. Plus – The Times has a deep dive into the world of fairy erotica, and Miranda is making us all talk about it.
Join Miranda Sawyer with comedian Jacob Hawle
Bonus episode: The ultimate Chrimbo sandwich showdown – Plus: What not to drink at your Xmas party
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Times rates all the chrimbo sarnies – so Jessica and Ava are hoovering up the lot. Gráinne and Alex pick the drinks guaranteed to keep you classy at the office xmas do – and what to avoid. Plus – Miranda rewinds the clock to rank the ultimate "Driving Home for Crimbo" bangers.
Join Miranda Sawyer, Jessica Fostekew, Ava Santina, Gráinne Maguire,
Syria’s tyrant toppled at last – Why nobody’s snitching on the Hot Hitman – Dating apps are OVER! Pray for Liza Jones and Vanessa Feltz
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Jubilation as Syrian rebels topple the tyrant Assad. What do the papers think? The world’s obsession with the “Hot Hitman” who killed a US healthcare executive gets totally out of control. And how are Paper Cuts faves Liza Jones and Vanessa Feltz going to find love now that dating apps are on the way out?
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The Mail loses it over Starmer’s relaunch – Hitman targets healthcare CEO – Have you been shamed by Spotify wrapped?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Starmer is trying to get people excited with some new pledges, but he’s making people really angry instead – Ava talks through the milestones. And, there’s been a crazy hitman story in New York and Miranda has dug into the deets. Plus, Jessica talks us through Spotify wrapped and we have nightmare sublet stories.
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Why is The Guardian on strike? Plus – Trump’s Christmas tat and other interior design disasters
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Guardian staff walk out over the potential sale of The Observer – Miranda Sawyer explains the scandal from the picket line! Marcus Brigstocke and Coco Khan debate the most cringe-worthy interior design trends. Plus – Donald Trump’s holiday merch is here, but Jason Hazeley won’t be decking the halls with the gold-plated tat.
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Biden pardons his son, Trump rages — The Paper Cuts Xmas party survival guide — “I gave up Hollywood to be a trad wife”
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Joe Biden sparks outrage by pardoning his troubled son Hunter – Natasha explains why this has Trump so rattled. The Guardian reveals the shocking rise of booze-free Christmas parties, leaving Jacob fuming. And actress and Elon Musk’s ex Tallulah Reilly tells The Times about her chic countryside commune. But Miranda isn’t sold on the rural hippy dream
What did Gregg Wallace do? Latest BBC scandal explained — The pettiest influencer battle so far — Would you go to a daytime rave?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Gregg Wallace has stepped down from MasterChef amid a string of allegations from coworkers. Coco delves into the claims. The Daily Mail provides an in-depth look at a legal battle between two very bland influencers and we've forced Jason to read it. Plus, The Guardian is obsessed with daytime raves, but Miranda isn’t convinced.
Miranda Sawyer is joi
‘Everything Is News’ crossover edition! – Get a vasectomy for Net Zero, Drake takes Kendrick beef to court, and could YOU survive Trump’s diet?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Miranda investigates The Daily Mail’s strange link between electric cars, net-zero policy, and vasectomies. The rap feud of the year between Drake and Kendrick Lamar continues to escalate – our insider Michael has all the spicy details from The Sun. Plus – The Telegraph makes one of their reporters eat like Trump for a whole week, and Helen is sweati
Storm Bert chaos: Were warnings wrong? – The Telegraph gets serious about jumpers – “Oh no, Mum’s watching p*rn again!”
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The front pages all cover the damage caused by Storm Bert and discuss whether warnings were sufficient. Miranda and Jan can’t agree on The Telegraph’s “essential jumpers for 2025”. Plus – The Sun has a story about a mum with a naughty habit, so we made Jonn read it and report back to us.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and queen
Paper Cuts Classified – Live on Zoom!
We don’t just read the papers so you don’t have to… we do it on Zoom too. In a special live edition for the Paper Cuts Supporters Club, host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and Podmasters backroom genius Jacob “Jarv” Jarvis. On the agenda: Remembering John Prescott, are “moflins” the new furbies, the star-cross’d potential romance between Jonn and Michael Gove… and your questio
Captain Tom charity finally exposed! – Could Jeremy Clarkson be Britain’s Trump? – The allure of the Lidl middle aisle
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The panel picks through the front pages including the ICC news of a ruling on Netanyahu. Then, Captain Tom’s charity gets exposed as a report reveals his family personally benefited from it. And Jeremy Clarkson, what’s he up to now – and could he make a switch into politics? Then, the middle aisle of Lidl – love it or hate it, it might ruin your rela
Extra episode – How is Cher so cool? and Brat: The word that won't go away
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Cher – she’s got a new book out and the panel can’t contain their excitement. And, Brat – nobody knows what it means still, despite it being the word of the year and Jacob Hawley dressing a little bit Brat!
Miranda Sawyer is joined by Jacob Hawley, Coco Khan, Jacob Jarvis and Ava Santina.
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World War Three? Biden's risky missile plan – Take That! Boybands reveal all – What’s behind the boredom epidemic?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Natasha explains Biden’s decision to lift the ban on Ukraine using long range US missiles, and reassures us that it (probably) won’t start World War 3. Gráinne has found an article in The Guardian all about 90s boy bands. Plus – Miranda corroborates The Times’ claim that young people would rather electrocute themselves than be bored.
Miranda Sawyer
Elon Musk's crazy week with Trump – Gladiator battle! Paul Mescal vs. Paddington – The papers go moth mad!
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Miranda has questions about Musk’s new job in Trump’s administration. Athena dives into The Guardian’s reviews of Gladiator 2 and Paddington but ends up just wanting to talk about Denzel Washington. Plus, The Times has a harrowing tale about moths that Zing finds all too relatable.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Zing Tsjeng and comedian At
Bonus episode: Do's and don'ts for the modern office – The Times gets serious about kids flicks
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Moana wasn’t included in The Times' top 20 animated movies and Jonn and Jacob aren’t happy. Meanwhile, Jarv and Marcus try to get their head around The Telegraph’s new office etiquette guide. Plus – Do you want to know 15 facts about Ironing? Grainne, Natasha and Miranda have you sorted.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists Jonn Elledge, Jacob
Starmer’s dilemma: EU vs Trump? – Are you a “Dark Empath”? – Mad for it! We bring back the 90s
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Guardian details Starmer’s Trump backup plan and Coco has the inside scoop. Meanwhile, The Daily Mail has uncovered a new TikTok trend that’s got Jacob fearing he might be a ‘dark empath.’ Plus – Miranda’s written all about the ’90s fashion revival in The Times, so of course, we’re talking about it.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Coco Kh
Putin and Trump: Best friends forever – Prince William's very bad year – Meet Gary Barlow’s big son
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Putin congratulates Trump on his victory in The Guardian, while Coco unpacks the ongoing fallout of the US election. The Times gives Prince William an angelic makeover, despite him having had an awful year. Our royal correspondent Marcus has the details. Plus – Miranda can’t get enough of Gary Barlow’s giant son, but The Sun's investigative report ex
Trump won – how did Harris lose? – special reaction with American Friction
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Trump has done it again. The US papers react to Trump’s victory and Jarv explains why so many experts got it wrong. The Times clues Miranda in on some of Trump’s eyebrow-raising policies. Plus – The New York Post asks if you can outrun a vampire bat and Chris is pretty sure he could.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by the dynamic duo Jacob Jarvis and Chr
Kemi Badenoch gets the Mail excited – Are you common? – The Guardian guide to holding a grudge
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Daily Mail is completely besotted with Kemi Badenoch after her Tory leadership victory. The Times politely informs Jonn and Gráinne that they’re common. Plus – The Guardian goes deep on grudges and Miranda shares some brilliant crow facts.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedian Gráinne Maguire.
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The Telegraph and farmers lead Budget outrage – Trump sues TV channel, Biden bites baby – The pros and cons of “sleep divorce”
We read the papers so you don’t have to. The budget has made all the right-leaning papers angry, with the Telegraph uniting with farmers in a rage-a-thon. Trump wants to sue a TV Channel for $10 billion, as he continues to live in his Dr. Evil era. And do you share a bed with your partner? If you do, it might be hurting your relationship more than it helps.
Jacob Jarvis is joined by Jacob Hawley
Halloween Bonus: The Mail vs. Spooky Season – plus a tale of revenge!
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Quentin Letts tells The Daily Mail all about his hatred of Halloween – but the most frightening part is that Marcus and Jonn agree with him. Meanwhile, Jason and Coco read a pretty grim story about the savage (and sometimes cruel) ways women have gotten revenge on their cheating partners. Plus a special clip from behind the paywall about why high-fly
MP thumps constituent… allegedly! – Jeff Bezos bends the knee to Trump – Un-Brie-lievable! The Great Cheese Robbery
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: MP in embarrassing constituent altercation! Everyone tries to get their hot Budget take in early. The Washington Post mysteriously fails to endorse a Presidential Candidate. Has Trump nobbled billionaire owner Jeff “Amazon” Bezos? And £300,000 of cheese has been nicked. Would you Edam and Eve it? (And can noted cheese fiend Marcus account for his whe
Let’s get fiscal! Has Reeves gone borrowing mad? –”I left my husband for a horse” – The science of being sexy
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Miranda comes up with the perfect explanation of ‘the economy’ while The Mail rages against Rachel Reeves. Coco and Jason discover the scientific formula for being sexy in The Times. Plus – Femail shares the plight of women who left their husbands for horses. Yes – horses.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Coco Khan and comedy writer Jason Haz
Taster – ‘Why do people join cults?’ – from the new series of Why? with Emma Kennedy
Try the new science and psychology podcast Why? – from the makers of Paper Cuts.
Why? is the podcast for curious minds. Every Thursday, presenter Emma Kennedy talks to experts and theorists to discover the science and psychology of why we are the way we are.
In the first episode: Why do people join cults? And how do they get out? Emma Kennedy talks to world-leading cult deprogrammer Rick Alan
Bonus episode: Lara Croft vs. Wagatha Christie
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Miranda and Ava debate the feminist appeal of Lara Croft while Gráinne pitches a bold reboot of the Tomb Raider franchise. Meanwhile, Jacob and Jonathan argue over whether Rebekah Vardy could redeem her public image by entering the jungle in the latest series of I'm a Celebrity.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by Ava Santina, Jonathan Lis, Grainne Maguire and Jac
Is Elon Musk trying to buy the US election? – Rivals mania! The papers go Cotswolds crazy – Has Ozempic saved the world?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Jonn explains why Musk’s attempt to buy the US election is a huge deal – even though nobody seems to care. The Telegraph is obsessed with the latest adaptation of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals, and Miranda reveals why rich people have so many affairs. Plus – The Guardian lists the unexpected ways Ozempic is changing the world.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by
Liam Payne: How the papers covered One Direction tragedy – Cheating scandal shocks conker bashers – Why stylists want you to cut up your trousers
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The tabloids react to Liam Payne’s tragic death. Marcus and Miranda are fascinated by the scandal that has rocked the world of competitive conkers. Plus – Jacob Jarvis, our resident fashionista, explains why it's good to only have one t-shirt.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by host of American Friction, Jacob Jarvis and the grand fromage Marcus Brigstoc
Paper Cuts – Live at the Clapham Grand!
We read the papers so you don’t have to. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that Miranda’s been banging on about the Paper Cuts live show at the Cheerful Earful Festival of Comedy Podcasts for what feels like forever. Well, folks, the wait is over – it finally happened!
In this epic showdown, Marcus Brigstocke and Coco Khan face off against Jonn Elledge and Gráinne Maguire to see who’s
Finally, a Taylor Swift/Keir Starmer scandal! – Are you an ‘emotional vampire’? – The ’80s are back! Again!
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Miranda can’t wrap her head around the Taylor Swift and Starmer drama in The Daily Mail. The Guardian introduces us to 'emotional vampires,' and Jacob thinks there's one in his family. Plus, Caitlin Moran says the ’80s are back – and Jonathan opens up about his Thatcher nightmares.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian Jacob Hawley and journalist Jonathan L
How did the Tories end up with Badenoch and Jenrick? – What's your 'winter arc'? Inside the new health fad – Are you a toxic fan?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Tory leadership race has got weirder with the final two, and Ava Santina thinks a woman who was bonked by a cauliflower in Waitrose is more important than the hopefuls. Miranda explains why she’ll not be shaving her head for the latest wellness trend. Plus – Gráinne delves into the world of toxic fandom and reveals her Manic Street Preacher fanfi
Bonus edition: A double dose of holidays from hell
We read the papers so you don’t have to, now every Monday and Friday. Today: Brace yourselves for the 'Holidays from Hell' mini pod! Miranda tells Jason the tale of a luxury cruise ship marooned in Belfast Lough. Meanwhile, Jan and Jonn dive into holiday horror stories in The Fence (Britain’s only magazine).
Miranda Sawyer is joined by fan favourite panellists Jonn Elledge, Jan Ravens and Jason H
Musk and Trump’s bad bromance – Why did Sue Gray have to go? – The Guardian’s terrible sex tips
We read the papers so you don’t have to, now every Monday and Friday. Today: Elon Musk joins Donald Trump at a rally and all of the papers are cringing. Jonn tries to explain why The Daily Mail is so obsessed with Sue Gray’s employment status. The Guardian shares some rizz-free sex advice that prompts Jan to recite some of her own fiery frissons. And finally – Miranda is troubled by the nation's b
Did Starmer surrender the Chagos islands? – Cut the Cord! It's time to retire the G-string – Inside Daniel Craig’s midlife fashion crisis
We read the papers so you don’t have to, now every Monday and Friday. Today: The Daily Mail is outraged that Starmer has given up the Chagos islands. The Times introduces Jason to the polycule while Jonn sympathises with Kate Lister’s underwear struggles in The i. Finally, we all bond over Daniel Craig’s mid life style crisis as reported in The Guardian.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist
Kemi Badenoch’s weird maternity pay outburst – Love tragedy for the Mail’s Liz Jones, again – Normcore: ten years of the age of beige
We read the papers so you don’t have to, now every Monday and Friday. Today: Mums! Kemi Badenoch thinks you’re getting too much maternity dosh – and other political mentalness. Mail loon Liz Jones’s messy love life takes another bad turn and Grainne is “totally here for it.” And the Times celebrates ten years of normcore (quietly).
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedian
Boris Johnson’s book ‘bombshells’ – Meet Britain’s smuggest trad wife – Kiss off! The art of the political smooch
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Book it! The Daily Mail shares exclusive excerpts from Boris Johnson’s book. Not for lazy mums. We’re introduced to Britain's smuggest trad wife in Secrets & Lives. Kiss and tell. The Telegraph ranks political smooches from the Clintons to the Starmers.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Anniki Sommerville and comedian Jacob Hawley.
Come and s
How Musk made the right wing even weirder – Meghan Markle's redemption tour – Is this Britain's worst mother-in-law?
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A right mess. The Guardian explains how Musk’s twitter takeover has hurt the right. We are not amused. The Sun looks into the conflicting reports about Meghan Markle’s track record as a boss. Monster-in-law. The Daily Mail has found the world’s worst mother in law.
Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedian Alistair Barri
