Athletico Mince
Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson host a comedy podcast that loosely revolves around football, featuring absurd characters, surreal sketches, and running jokes like brass hands and blue drink. It's a humorous show that often veers off into bizarre tangents, with a distinct British comedic style.
Episodes
The Slaughters Collection Vol. 3
A compilation of Bob’s visits to the Ally Pally meat restaurant from episodes 112 to 117 (and some Parsnips episodes in between). (First issued to Club Parsnips members in November 2025) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 57: Kettles
A head injury, country music, safety, a Littlepod, kettles, Farke and Bamford visit Peter, and a crow story. (Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 1/12/25 https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Beardsley Collection Vol. 6
Here’s a compilation of Peter’s efforts between June and December 2021, including some of his world class rapping.(Originally released to Club Parsnips members in October 2025) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 56: Gold Card Renewal
Scary stuff, country music, Lawro at Talksport, Memory Man, Dyche returns, a quiz, and a new visitor to Slaughters.(Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 31/10/25 https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 55: Sons
Football, a song, names, topics, another Sorrento tale, pig Guru, a Martin visit, and telly ideas.(Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 28/7/25 https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 54: Medico
Glastonbury, John Cooper Sunshine, beach safety, a disrupted eye test, a Sorrento holiday, and Coogan meets Mick.(Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 28/6/25 https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Talksport Collection Vol. 2
A compilation of tapes, mp3s and WAVs acquired by Bob between November 2021 and April 2024.(Originally released to Club Parsnips members in June 2025) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 53: Cupboard Dogs
Names, topics, a tale from Scotland, questions, Hodgson, Martin meets Farke, and vegetarian waiter ASMR. (Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 30/5/25 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 52: Lemon Drivel
Safety first, a QR game, Crime Files, a dog-based Littlepod, a visit to an old friend, and some children's pastimes.(Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 24/4/25 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Crime Files Collection Vol. 4
A compilation of tales from Neil Hunt’s nonsense pottery from February 2022 to March 2023. (Originally released to Club Parsnips subscribers on 27th Feb 2025) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 51: The Power Of Nine
Numbers, Ferry, a quiz, chicken in a hot car, a pie quest, a piano engine, Crime Files, and more.(Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 8/3/25 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 50: General Purpose Powder
Safety tips with Mickey, ground poppadoms, a zoo visit, a BMLC function, a quiz, and an allergies song. (Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 16/2/25 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Littlewood Collection Vol. 2
Please enjoy the progress and growth of Dominic Littlewood in his appearances from May 2021 to Feb 2023.(Originally released via Club Parsnips in January 2025 https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 49: Missed Spoon Opportunity
Country music, gift talk, an Ally Pally visit, ding dong, a llama meeting, and some interesting topics. (Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 1/1/25 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 48: Ladder Parties
Musical fun, shunned topics, a new quiz, Peter encounters Martin, soccer secrecy, and nursery rhymes. (Originally released via Club Parsnips in October 2024) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Geordie Heat Collection Vol. 3
A dollop of Tyne-based crime reality from between July and November of 2022 (First released to Club Parsnips members in July 2024) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 47: Norwegian Tasting
Safety, memory renewal, a quiz, Gangs of the EPL, a door, Ding Dong, and access aggravation. (Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 5/10/24 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The McClaren Collection Vol. 4
Steve and Casper’s antics and adventures (and singing) from episode 85 to 116.(Previously issued via Club Parsnips on Patreon and Apple Subscriptions in Feb 2024) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 46 And A Half: Cool Petrol Guy
Parsnippers questions, quizzing, singing, that sort of thing. (Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 17/9/24 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Beardsley Collection Vol. 5
From episodes 103-113, including Carol’s new beau, Peter listening to Talksport, and much more…(Originally released to Club Parsnips members on 31/10/23) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 45: Japanese Street Food Van
A lanky song, catchphrases, Crime Files, Littlepodding, a quiz, Mick goes shopping and more format theft.(Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 1/9/24 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 44: Fish Truthers
Safety, snake vaping, a distance quiz, a door, and a hot tub dreamer.(Originally released to Club Parsnips members in July 2024)Join Club Parsnips at https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 43: Bone On Bone
A safety rap battle, Lawro commentates, Martin visits Neil, Harry’s England gang, and a Slaughters trip.(Released via Club Parsnips in June 2024) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Littlewood Collection Vol. 1
Please enjoy the progress and growth of Dom Littlewood from his appearances up to and including episode 113. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 42: Business Monkey
Safety with Mickey Nixon, soccer secrecy, Steve and Mark drink liquids, countryside bother, and fighting with Peter. (Rec: 28/5/24 - full version available in Club Parsnips archive)Join Club Parsnips at https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince - extra episodes, studio footage, animation, all sorts of extra stuff Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Homeowner Collection Vol. 2
(Updated version with bits that were originally missing)Here’s the best of Barry Homeowner from episodes 68 to 88… ciao bella! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Homeowner Collection Vol. 1
(Updated version with bits that were originally missing)He’s not Train Guy… or is he? Judge for yourself – here’s the best of Barry Homeowner from episodes 41 to 66… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Martin Collection Vol. 2
Another round-up of recorded content from M-M-M-M-M-Martin from Homes Under The Hammer from the time period of February 2020 to April 2022. It’s a little bit unusual but you’ll like it(Previously released to Club Parsnips members in July 2023) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ep. 125 - Mr. Parakeet
Safety first, crime on the Tyne, a Littlepod, Martin visits a darts star, and Barry C. Homeowner returns.Join Club Parsnips for the entire Mince archive at https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 41: No No No No No
Fish and chips, safety, a Beardsley barbecue, door opening, questions, Talksport, and a showbiz centre opportunity.(Rec: 29/11/2023) Join Club Parsnips at https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Geordie Heat Collection Vol. 2
A compilation of incidents of crime on the Tyne from between December 2021 and June 2022. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 40: Safety First
A new rapper, a job interview, a McClaren podcast, TV tennis, Geordie Heat, a row in Edinburgh, Lawro’s cheeses, and an air fryer rival. (Released via Club Parsnips in August 2023) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Slaughters Collection Vol. 2
A compilation of Bob’s visits to spy on Adrian Lewis at the Slaughters restaurant from Parsnips 5 to Mince 109. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Beardsley Joke Collection Vol. 2
Short but sweet, it’s another selection from Peter’s joke book, from episodes 82 to 113… dog dirt. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ep. 124 - No Fighting
Young England lads on the town, Talksport, Dom, Roy, Geordie Heat, and much more…(63-min extended version available via Club Parsnips - search Athletico Mince on Patreon and Apple Subscriptions) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 39: What Are Machines?
Kings Cross, foil, Harry’s barbecue, sleep, party foods, zombies, and more. (Released via Club Parsnips in April 2023) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 38: Sound Effects Extravaganza
Crisps, writing on hearts, Hunt vs Sugar, egg escape, a Pearson/McCarthy coffee shop trip, and much more. (Full version released 31/3/23) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The McCarthy Collection Vol. 1
A collection of Mick’s visits to the studio from episode 57 to 110. (Originally released via Club Parsnips) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 37: Crawling Under A Horse
Historical fear, Harry’s Farm, skip talk, a door, Eddie and Amanda Baby visit the Beardsleys, and Dom pods. (Full version released 28/2/23) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The White Harts Collection Vol. 3
A compilation of the antics of Harry Kane and his pals from episode 68 to 93. (Originally released via Club Parsnips) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 36: Mr Sting’s Unexploded Bomb
Fancy trousers, hose connectors, a happy song, a Rubik’s cube, custard, and so much more. (Rec: 30/1/23) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Dyche Collection Vol. 2
A compilation of Sean Dyche’s motivational WAVs from episode 106 until September 2022. (Originally released via Club Parsnips) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 35: Fingers Of Richmond
Doctor tactics, slipper chat, ray gun repair, a Dyche WAV, regal scatter cushions, Peter’s 2022 Christmas message, and more. (Rec: 20/12/22)Explore the entire Club Parsnips archive free for 7 days at https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Crime Files Collection Vol. 3
Here's a compilation of some Crime Files stories, from episodes 105 to 117. DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... (Released 30/7/22)Join Club Parsnips on Patreon for the complete Mince experience with exclusive bonus episodes and video content https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 34: Wheat Special
Football, aftershave, driveways, telly, cream, Tyne crime, Dom, the EFT gang, and soap. (Rec: 29/11/22)Enter Club Parsnips with a 7-day free trial at https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Beardsley Collection Vol. 4
From episodes 91-103, Peter and Carol receive a visitor, we learn about their wedding day, legal issues, a shopping trip and more… (first issued to Club Parsnips members in May 2022) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 33: Norwegian Jumper Hunt
A country music remix, a lunch club update, a showbiz centre visit, resin bonded driveways, air frying, gut health, and nonsense pottery. (Rec: 27/10/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 32: Goodbye Fun Conifer
Categorised items, Peter’s van, anti-woke Lawro, test drives, Geordie Heat, telly pitches, and more. (26/9/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Talksport Collection Vol. 1
A compilation of tapes, mp3s and WAVs acquired by Bob between August 2019 and August 2021. (Rec: 21/3/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 31: Buttered Crackers
A stamping duck, a scary camping trip, Geordie Heat, a Littlepod, a listen to Talksport, and much more. (Rec: 30/8/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Geordie Heat Collection Vol. 1
A compilation of episodes featuring crime on the Tyne… (first released to Club Parsnips members in Feb 2022) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Hodgson Collection Vol. 2
To celebrate his return to management, here’s a round-up of Roy’s appearances from Mince 86 all the way to Parsnips 19. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 30: Amanda Baby
Fresh blood for Geordie Heat, pre-season Lawro, a distance quiz, hot Scholes, Steve and Casper at home, and a Milky call. (Rec: 20/7/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ep. 123 - Gateshead Revolution
An emotional hotel, machine talk, Mr Sting’s Alexa problem, treadmill friction, Cliff’s croissants, and some Littlepodding. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Homeowner Collection Vol. 2
Here’s the best of Barry Homeowner from episodes 42 to 68… ciao bella! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ep 122 - New Ray Gun
Plasterboard fixings, Geordie Heat, Roy returns, Martin visits a mouse, a showbiz centre call, the shipping forecast, and a Scottish Tale. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 29: Make Time For Lemon Curd
Country music, run flat tyres, Lord Bamford, Lawro at Wimbledon, the BMLC, and Martin visits Roy. (Rec: 28/6/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 28: Great Big Super Onions
A country song, some nonsense pottery, a call to the showbiz centre, Lawro commentates, and Mr Sting visits the Beardsleys. (Rec: 31/5/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The White Harts Collection Vol. 2
A compilation of Bob’s reports on the Spurs gang’s activities from episodes 50 to 64. (Rel: 19/10/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 27: Dyche’s Farewell
Bob plays his cards right, topical comedy, a new Geordie Heat boss, Adrian joins in the ASMR, Martin visits Steve, and a snooker visit. (Rec: 30/4/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Observational Comedy Collection Vol. 1
Some high quality observing and remembering from episodes 15-31. (Rec: 31/8/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Martin Collection Vol. 1
Here’s a compilation of appearances by M-M-M-M-M-Martin from Homes Under The Hammer, from episodes 81 to 94. (Rec: 24/6/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 26: Flat Hand!
A tale from the island, Eddie visits Peter, the Secret Soccer Superstar returns, waiter ASMR, and Martin calls on Mr Sting. (Rec: 31/3/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 25: Over To Stockley Park
Mark Hughes updates the BMLC, a farming quiz, Lawro in Venezuela, Howe visits Hunt, and Dom’s fog egg. (Rec: 28/2/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 24: Chance In A Million
A tip upgrade, Geordie Heat, Martin’s new sidekick, waiter ASMR, and some unidents. (Rec: 28/1/22) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 23: Booster Boy
A Hot Derek manager interception, festive Omsk, Martin visits Talksport, a quiz, unidents and more. (Rec: 26/11/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ep 121 - Jackets and Bitcoin
Chocolate, country, group names, McCarthy v Pearson, mammals, Geordie Heat, a showbiz centre call, and Talksport. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 22: Custard Beats Everything
A chucked tin of peaches, Mark visits Peter, watching a fire, socks, East Or West, and lots more. (Rec: 28/10/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 21: Sunderland Funeral Buffet
A bit that might not have worked, unidents, Dom, Mr Sting’s graffiti, Adrian’s birthday, and pain relief. (Rec: 19/9/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Crime Files Collection Vol. 2
Here's a compilation of some Crime Files stories, from episode 91 to 102. DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 20: Bob’s Bed Bees
A lockdown poem, a Warhammer quiz, a Talksport tape, ‘Cash or Cheque’, a Slaughters/Hunt encounter, and the perfect unident? (Rec: 30/8/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ep. 120 - Cowboy Special
Some country music, a vague levy, a new Phil Jones trailer, a card game, Geordie Heat, and more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The McClaren Collection Vol. 3
Here’s more of Steve and Casper’s crazy antics from episode 45 to 83… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 19: Curry Emergency
Peter’s rap, Geordie Heat, unidents, Steve and Wade, Dom’s beautiful song, and more. (Rec: 30/7/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 18: Egg Poultice
Lockdown Gary, England camp spying, a Beardsley update, and Lawro’s shapes. (Rec: 28/6/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Beardsley Collection Vol. 3
From episodes 75-88. A visit from Mark, how the Beardsley’s met, a visit to Carol’s sister, a trip to hospital, the gas man cometh, and more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 17: Sting’s Missing Vest
Lockdown poetry, Ron Craggs’ camper van, Geordie Heat, Roy plans his future, the podcast becomes fully vaxxed, and we rate your unidents. (Rec: 31/5/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ep. 119 - The Lip Of The Skip At The Tip
The A19, John Cooper Sunderland, Geordie Heat, Lawro in Venezuela, and Debbie leaves the White Harts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 16: Never Drink Nuts
The EPL captains meeting, a waterworks mantra, clown car repair, and your unidents assessed. (Rec: 29/4/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Boiled Parsnips 15: Alien Confrontation
A Homeowner brag, wingspan, a possible butterfly unident, more Geordie Heat, and Scholes confusion. (Rec: 29/3/21) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
