How Not to Screw Up Your Kids
Psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan hosts this podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone who wants to raise confident children with self-belief. The show offers twice-weekly episodes, with shorter 'Bucket Emptying' episodes on Mondays and longer episodes on Thursdays. It aims to provide the right information and support to help children thrive in a fast-paced, ever-changing world.
Episodes
Bucket Emptying: How Much Your Child Really Needs (and What To Do If They're Not Getting It)
Is bedtime a battle?Does your child wake through the night?Or are you simply unsure whether your child is getting enough sleep?Most parents think of sleep as “rest”, but once you understand what sleep is actually doing inside your child’s developing brain, everything changes.In today’s episode, I break down the science behind sleep - what it really says about memory consolidation, emotional regula
What Your Child's Friendships Are Really Telling You
Today, I’m diving deep into one of the most emotionally charged parts of parenting: your child’s friendships.I’ll show you how to read what their social world is really telling you, how to recognise what’s developmentally normal, and how to support them without stepping in too fast or taking over.I will explain the difference between friendship friction and genuine red flags, how to coach your chi
Bucket Emptying: Why Toddlers Have Tantrums (And What Actually Helps)
Spoiler alert: a tantrum isn’t bad behaviour. It’s a developmental event that happens when your kid’s nervous system is really overwhelmed.When your children have tantrums, it is never a reflection of you or your parenting. It’s a completely normal and age appropriate thing.So in this episode, I’m diving into the world of toddler tantrums - what causes them, what happens in your child’s brain at t
How to Raise a Confident Child
How do you know if your child is confident, or just masking?In today’s episode, I explain the two core skills that create genuine, lifelong confidence, and once you understand these foundations, helping your child become braver, more resilient, and more willing to try new things becomes so much easier.I walk you through the wide‑lens approach I use with families, showing you how confidence grows t
Bucket Emptying: 5 Questions to Ask Your Child Instead of 'How Was School?'
If you’ve ever asked your children “How was school?” and received “Fine”, “I don’t know”, or total silence, you’re not alone. Our children walk through the door with a full emotional bucket, tired from holding themselves together all day, so the usual questions just don’t work.In today’s bucket emptying episode, I give you five simple questions you can start using today that help your kids open an
Raising Children Who Love Learning
What’s the real key to raising a child who genuinely loves learning - not because of school pressure, grades, or how much homework they do, but because curiosity and resilience have been built from the inside out?As a psychologist and parent, I’ve seen again and again that children do the best academically and emotionally when we stop focusing on homework battles, reading resistance, or low motiva
Bucket Emptying - REFILL: First Day at School Jitters - Top Ten Tips
The first day at a new school can be a scary experience for many children, as well as us parents! But what do you do if your kid is super nervous?We often feel like the bad guy making them go in when they clearly don’t want to, even when we know it’s the best thing for them, so in this week’s bucket emptying episode, I give you my ten top tips for managing those first day jitters.So pour yourself
The One Conversation Every Parent Should Have With Their Child Before September
Whether your child is starting reception, moving into secondary school, returning to a familiar classroom, or stepping into a brand‑new environment like college or university, there is one important conversation you should be having, but most parents miss it.In today’s episode, I walk you through exactly how I approach this conversation in my own family and with the families I support: how to choo
3 Conversation to Have with Your Child After Results (For Any Grade)
Results week doesn’t end on results day - in fact, the days and weeks following results day is where the real emotional work happens.In today’s bucket emptying episode, I give you three precise, ready‑to‑use conversation starters that help your child feel seen, steady and supported, regardless of whether they’re celebrating, disappointed, confused or quietly struggling.As a parent, your words shap
GCSE Results Day: What Your Child Needs From You in the Next 24 Hours
GCSE results day isn’t really about grades - it’s about emotions. Everyone is feeling a lot of things, from the moment you wake up, to opening that envelope, and then processing whatever is inside.In this episode, I explain why teens react so differently to results, and how your own exam memories resurface to influence your parenting. Remember: this day belongs to our children. Let them lead and b
Bucket Emptying: 5 Ways to Support Your Teenager When Plans Change
If your teenager’s exam results were not what you expected, your plans might be making some sudden changes. That’s ok, and this episode is for you.Whether your child didn’t get the grades they hoped for, is suddenly unsure about university, or is facing a future that looks different from what they imagined, I will walk you through the five things I want you to do this week to help them move forwar
What to Say to Your Teenager on Results Day (Whatever the Grades)
Results Day is one of the most emotionally-charged moments in your teenager’s life, and what you say in the first hours after they open that envelope can shape their confidence, their resilience, and their future selves. No pressure 😂Today I am going to give you the exact sentences to use on A‑level Results Day, GCSE Results Day, or any high‑stakes academic moment. No clichés, no “at least” statem
Bucket Emptying: One Rule for Screens This Summer
A must‑listen for every parent navigating the screen‑time battle this summer!Today, I cut through the overwhelm with one simple, highly effective rule that stops arguments, protects your child’s sleep, stabilises their mood, and restores calm at home.If you’re seeing bedtime resistance, evening meltdowns, wired behaviour at night, or grumpy mornings, this episode explains why screens are disruptin
Screen Time, Sleep, and Your Child's Mood: What You Are Missing
Screens aren’t just distracting your child - they’re quietly disrupting the one thing their brain and body cannot function without: sleep. And when sleep quality drops, everything else follows: mood, behaviour, emotional regulation, impulse control, learning, resilience and family harmony.In today’s episode, I explain the real screen‑time problem most parents miss, how it impacts your child’s slee
Bucket Emptying: 5 Things to Say When Your Child Won't Try Something
Fear of failure is one of the most misunderstood challenges parents face, especially when you’re raising a bright, capable child who refuses to try anything unless success is guaranteed.Today, I break down exactly why children avoid new experiences, quit the moment things get hard, melt down over mistakes, or insist “I can’t do it” before they’ve even begun.I am going to give you 5 practical strat
When Your Child Won't Try Anything New: Fear of Failure and the Resilience Gap
If you’re watching your bright, capable child refuse to try anything unless success is guaranteed, this episode is going to feel like oxygen.I’m breaking down exactly what’s really driving fear of failure in children - the avoidance, the perfectionism, the “I’m not doing it if I’m going to be bad at it” - and I’m giving you five practical things you can do right now to close the resilience gap.You
Bucket Emptying: Five Ways to Support Your Sensitive Child Without Wrapping Them in Cotton Wool
In this episode, I’m tackling one of the most confusing challenges parents face: how to support a highly sensitive child without wrapping them in cotton wool or pushing them too hard. If your child feels everything deeply - the party overwhelm, the criticism that undoes them, the emotional intensity that seems bigger than everyone else’s - then you need this episode.I explain what high sensitivity
Highly Sensitive Children: Is It Anxiety, Neurodivergence or Just Who They Are?
In this episode, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood traits I see in children every single week: high sensitivity.If your child feels everything deeply - the loud places, the scratchy clothes, the emotional intensity of a birthday party they actually enjoyed - you may have wondered whether it’s anxiety, ADHD, autism, or something you’ve somehow caused. So let’s clear it up.I explain the
How to Survive the First Week of the Holidays
In this episode, I will walk you through the real first week of the school holidays - the meltdowns, the boredom, the clinginess, the explosions over nothing - and why this week is always the hardest for anxious children.I explain exactly what’s happening in your child’s nervous system when the school‑day scaffolding disappears, why their bucket fills before lunchtime, and the three practical tool
Why Anxious Children Struggle in the Holidays (and What Actually Helps)
Summer holidays are tough for parents, but it can be a hidden superpower! In this episode, I explain exactly why anxious children struggle the moment school ends, why the holidays bring out their anxiety, and the five practical tools that genuinely help.I walk you through the real reason behind the meltdowns, the boredom‑to‑explosion cycle, the clinginess, and the screen‑time battles. You’ll learn
What to Say When Your Child Says "I Give Up"
In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I’m giving you the exact words to use in one of the hardest parenting moments: when your child looks at you and says “I’m not good enough.”If you’ve ever watched your child crumble after a mistake, a test, a football practice, or a moment that didn’t go their way, and your reassurance only made things worse, you need this episode.I walk you through three specifi
Why I'm Only Just Being Diagnosed: Neurodivergence, Perimenopause and Parenting
If you’re a woman in your 40s or 50s who feels like everything has suddenly become harder - the brain fog, the overwhelm, the burnout, the emotional crashes, the sense that you’re “failing” at things you used to manage - this episode may explain more than you realise.I’m joined again by Jessie Hewitson to talk about a phenomenon we’re seeing everywhere: women in peri‑ and post‑menopause receiving
Three Signs Your Daughter Needs an ADHD Test
If your daughter is “fine at school” but falling apart at home - the meltdowns, the morning battles, the homework explosions, the constant need for you to narrate every step - this episode may be the missing piece you’ve been searching for. Because none of this is about attitude, defiance or bad parenting. It may be ADHD, and in girls it looks nothing like the stereotype.In this episode, I walk yo
ADHD in Girls: Why It's So Often Missed and What Parents Need to Know
If you’re parenting a girl who is anxious, overwhelmed, explosive at home, masking at school, or constantly burning out, this episode will give you answers you may have been searching for for years.I’m joined by Dr Olivia Kesel, whose new book Beyond the Label: Empowering Parents of ADHD Girls is one I believe every parent of a daughter should read.Olivia shares her story of years of chaos, shame,
My Child Won't Stop Comparing Themselves to Their Sibling
If your child is constantly shouting “It’s not fair!”, measuring every biscuit, bedtime or privilege against their sibling, and turning every moment into a competition, this episode will help you breathe again.None of this is really about fairness; it’s about belonging. When children compare, they’re not asking about portions. They’re asking, do I matter as much as they do?In this episode, I’ll sh
Who's the Favourite? Birth Order, Sibling Rivalry and Why It Matters
If you’ve ever worried about sibling rivalry, felt guilty about how your attention is divided, or wondered whether your children secretly believe you have a favourite, this episode will change how you see your family forever.I’m joined by journalist and author Catherine Carr to talk about her extraordinary book Who’s the Favourite? - a deep dive into the hidden emotional world of siblings.We explo
What to Say When Your Child Says 'I'm Not Good Enough'
When your child looks at you and says, “I’m not good enough,” it hits you in the chest. Every instinct you have wants to fix it, to tell them they’re brilliant, to list every wonderful thing about them, to make the feeling go away. But if you’ve tried that, you already know it doesn’t work. They don’t believe you. They cry harder. They shut down. And you’re left wondering what on earth you’re supp
My Child is a Perfectionist: When High Standards Become Anxiety
If your child is melting down over tiny mistakes, refusing to start homework, or abandoning activities the moment they stop being “naturally good,” this episode is one you cannot afford to skip.I’m seeing perfectionism show up in more children than ever, and most parents don’t realise it’s not about high standards at all. It’s anxiety. And it’s quietly eroding your child’s confidence, resilience,
Three Practical Strategies to Help Your Distracted Child Focus
If your child can spend 45 minutes sharpening pencils, rearranging their desk, or “revising” without absorbing a single thing, you are not imagining it - something is getting in the way of their concentration, and it’s not laziness or lack of effort.In this bucket emptying episode, I’ll show you why so many children struggle to focus, even when they’re trying, and why the strategies most parents r
Why Your Child Can't Concentrate: Focus, Distraction and ADHD with Professor Sam Wass
If you’ve ever wondered why your child can spend 40 minutes talking about Minecraft but can’t concentrate for four minutes on homework, this episode explains everything.I’m joined again by Professor Sam Wass, and if you heard his previous episodes, you’ll know why parents loved them. In today’s conversation, Sam breaks down what concentration actually is from a neuroscience perspective, why young
5 Questions to Ask Your Worried Child Tonight
If your child is anxious, you already know how hard evenings can be. You sit beside them wanting desperately to help, but every time you try to reassure them, it backfires. Logic doesn’t land. Distraction doesn’t stick. And sometimes, despite your best intentions, the thing you say makes everything worse.This episode gives you something you can use tonight.I’ll walk you through five specific, evid
When Your Child Won't Stop Worrying
If your child is melting down over homework, asking endless “what if” questions, getting mysterious tummy aches, refusing school, withdrawing from activities, or exploding the moment they walk through the door, you need this episode.I work with anxious and dysregulated children every single day, and what I want you to know is this: most of the behaviours parents struggle with aren’t actually behav
Bucket Empyting: One Thing to Say to Your Son Every Day to Build His Confidence
If you’re raising a boy, you already know this: you can believe in him with your whole heart, and still watch him struggle to believe in himself. You tell him he’s brilliant and he shrugs it off.You encourage him and he brushes it away.You try to have a meaningful conversation and suddenly his phone becomes the most fascinating object on earth.Meanwhile, you can see the gap widening - t
How Not to Screw Up Your Kids - A Podcast for Parents from a Child Psychologist Who Gets You
If your child is melting down, shutting down, refusing school, avoiding sleep, snapping back, or clinging to you because something feels “wrong” but they can’t explain what, you’re in the right place.I’m Dr Maryhan, a psychologist who works with anxious and dysregulated children every single day. And here’s what I want you to know: most of the behaviours that keep you up at night aren’t really abo
Raising Confident Boys
If you’re raising a boy right now, you already know this: the world he’s growing up in is tougher, louder, and more confusing than ever, and the cracks in his confidence can appear long before you realise what’s happening.Maybe you’ve watched your son compare himself to other boys and quietly decide he’s not good enough.Maybe he shrinks back, masks who he really is, or performs confidence he doesn
When Siblings Are Stuck Together
If your children have been at each other all week, this episode will change everything.I’m diving into one of the biggest sources of family stress - sibling conflict - and why it’s almost never about the toy, the sofa, or the “look” one child gave the other, and nearly always about your children’s emotional buckets overflowing.In this bucket-emptying episode, I walk you through three powerful tool
Why Parenting Feels Harder Than Ever
You don’t need more time with your child. You just need five intentional minutes.And in this episode, I’ll show you exactly why those tiny moments matter more than you think.If you’ve ever worried that you’re not present enough, not connected enough, or that the days are slipping by while you’re juggling work, life and everything in between, you’re not alone. I hear this from parents constantly, b
Back-Chat, Boundaries, and What Your Child is Really Trying to Tell You
Back‑chat isn’t your child being “difficult” - it’s a message. And in this episode, I’m going to show you how to finally hear it.If you’re dealing with eye‑rolls, snappy comebacks, or that sudden surge of attitude that leaves you wondering what on earth is happening, you’re not alone. So I’m going to unpack what back‑chat really means, why it shows up at any age, and the psychological needs sittin
The Meals That Carry Us Through Hard Seasons with Helen Hopkins
In this episode, you’ll discover a completely different way to think about feeding your family - one that saves you time, money, stress, and emotional bandwidth, and joining me is Helen Hopkins, better known as The Meal Time Maverick, whose viral batch‑cooking method has transformed kitchens across the UK.Instead of filling your freezer with meals you forget to defrost, Helen shows you how to batc
Good Parents Doubt Themselves Too
We all have an inner critic. Even us parents.In today’s episode, I explore one of the most overlooked but powerful ways to lighten your emotional load and quieten your inner critic.Modern parenting gives that critical voice endless opportunities to speak up - especially when we compare our behind‑the‑scenes chaos to everyone else’s curated highlight reel. I unpack why we’re so much kinder to our c
Homework: Building Persistence, Resilience & Independence
Hands up if you like homework…Me neither.But homework isn’t just a task to be completed. It’s a powerful opportunity to build persistence, resilience and independence in your children.Homework can so easily become a battleground filled with tears, avoidance and frustration, yet when we shift our focus from performance to process, everything changes. In today’s episode, I explore why the “how” of o
Bucket Emptying: Living with Parental Guilt
In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I explore what it really means to live with parental guilt - that ever‑present tug that arrives the moment we become parents and never fully disappears.I talk about why guilt isn’t a sign that you’re failing, but a natural by‑product of caring deeply across multiple roles: parent, professional, partner, friend, adult child.Instead of treating guilt as a performa
What Every Parent Needs to Know About Siblings
Do you have more than one child?Are they constantly fighting for your time and energy?So how do you parent siblings?In today’s episode, I explore how birth order shapes your children’s development, behaviour, and long‑term identity. You’ll learn why research consistently shows firstborn advantages in earnings, IQ, and academic outcomes, and what sits beneath those patterns - from early illness exp
Bucket Emptying: Does Distraction Tame a Tantrum?
In this episode, I will explain the viral “Where’s Jessica?” distraction trend and discover whether it truly helps your child manage big emotions.I am going to show you why distraction can work in the moment - the novelty, the shift in attention, and the calm, curious tone that naturally regulates your child’s nervous system, and you’ll see why relying on distraction long‑term can backfire, teachi
Helping Children Manage Uncertainty
In today’s episode, we will explore how to help your child navigate life’s inevitable uncertainties, from exam results and friendship turbulence to school transitions and family change.You’ll learn why shielding your child from uncertainty actually weakens resilience, and how simple shifts in the way you listen, respond, and structure daily life can dramatically improve their ability to cope.I wil
Bucket Emptying: Foundations to Building Confidence
In today’s bucket-emptying episode, you’ll learn the three essential foundations your child needs before confidence can grow.If you’ve got a child who avoids challenges, gets overwhelmed easily, or insists they’re “rubbish” at everything, this is where you start. In this episode you’ll discoverhow to explain the mind–body connection in a way your child can actually understand,why their brain often
What I Know for Sure About Raising Confident Kids
Today is my birthday, and it’s become a tradition of mine to reflect on life and what I’ve learned. So this year I’m reflecting in public, on the podcast with you.I am going to share my top ten parenting lessons, drawn from my own experience, about how to raise confident children.My two children are adults now, and I like to think I’ve learnt a lot over the years. I’ve gotten things right, and I’v
5 Powerful Reflection Questions to Build Confidence in Children
I talk a lot about confidence, because it’s super important, and it’s something we all struggle with - yes, even us parents!But a lack of confidence can manifest in so many different ways, it can be really tricky knowing how to spot the signs in our kids and support them through it.So in today’s bucket emptying episode, I’m giving you a cheat sheet, with five really powerful reflection questions y
What to Say When Your Child Feels Anxious
Anxiety is not a one size fits all thing. It can show up in so many different ways, from school refusal to bedtime worries and everything in between.We think it’s our job as parents to find the magic solution, but there isn’t one! Instead, we have to find ways to navigate these tricky situations and the supportive presence our children need.In today’s episode I am going to help you tackle your kid
Good Mum, Not Enough Mum: Why It Still Never Feels Like Enough
Spoiler alert: being a mum is hard.It’s ok to be a good mum and feel like you’re not enough. You might feel like you can’t tell other mums that, but I promise you we are all feeling the same.So in this bucket emptying episode, I talk about why that feeling is so common, why it’s not a personal failure, and why being a good mum can still feel exhausting and heavy.This episode isn’t about fixing the
Why Your Child Won't Listen, and One Thing to Try Tonight
Do you ever feel like you are speaking to a brick wall?Do your kids sometimes ignore you as if you’re invisible?Do you feel the frustration eating away at you?Well let me tell you something - you are not alone! Every child has moments, and some more than others, of simply not listening. There are so many reasons for this, and yes some of them are learned, but some are simply part of growing up.In
Bucket Emptying: After School Meltdowns
After school tantrums are anything but random.Often, they are a sign that your child has been trying super hard to follow the rules and be on their best behaviour all day - and for neurodivergent children they could be masking all day - and this is exhausting. So when you turn up, they release all of the emotions and big feelings.It might not feel like it, but I promise you, that’s a good thing be
The Manosphere and Raising Boys
From Adolescence to Louis Theroux, the manosphere has become a mainstream talking point, and that’s a good thing!The manosphere is a term associated with toxic behaviour. Me, you, and all other parents out there know this is not what it means to be masculine or manly, but our kids don’t know that, and it is so important that we help them identify and understand problematic content when they see it
Bucket Emptying: 5 Mindset Shifts Before Returning to Work
Returning to work is not easy, especially for new parents.You’ve probably had an extended time off. Your routine is different, your priorities are different, and life is different - you have a child now! So going back to work will never be the same as before.It is hard to adjust to your new normal, but I am going to share five ways you can shift your mindset to deal with this big change.Spoiler al
Thriving as a Single Parent
There are many myths about single parent families, and I’m telling you they are not true.The success, wellbeing and happiness of your child has nothing to do with how many parents they live with. In fact, children with single parents are very high achievers.But that doesn’t stop you feeling isolated, lonely, even out of your depth, wondering if you’re doing things right, or doing enough, or being
Bucket Emptying: 30 Second Reset
Calm down.Every parent knows these are the worst two words you can ever say to your child in the midst of a meltdown… and we’ve all learnt the hard way!Bringing your kids down from a tantrum can be impossible, and it’s much better if you have the tools and the tricks to diffuse a situation or calm them down before it escalates into a full tantrum.In this episode I am going to share a life-changing
The 9 Expectation Changes to Supercharge Success
You have high expectations for your kids. Every parent does, and I get it!But sometimes we can present those expectations in ways that may not be as supportive to our children as we hoped.Last week I talked through the behaviours you can model to boost your kids’ academic success, confidence and friendships, so today I’m going further and giving you practical, easy to use tips for each of these, t
Bucket Emptying: Grabbing the Opportunity
The UK government has opened a public consultation on a potential social media ban for under 16 year olds, and this creates a huge opportunity for us.It’s not just about giving our opinion to government, but as parents we now have a real chance to connect with our kids like never before.What is their opinion on this?How do they feel?What matters to them, and why?This is chance for us to encourage
9 Modelled Bevahiours Boosting Academic Success, Confidence & Friendships
If you have not yet watched American skier Eileen Gu’s interview following her silver medal at the recent Winter Olympics, click the link below, because it blew me away!Her confidence and self-assuredness is an amazing example to lots of young people, especially young women and girls, and it got me thinking… are there common actions or traits of parents who raise successful, confident children?We’
Bucket Emptying: Parenting in Public
Children should be seen and not heard. Do you agree?We’ve all heard that expression, and we were all probably told this by our own parents! But I have noticed more and more examples of adult only areas of public spaces - on trains or in shopping malls - so I wanted to tackle this head on.For the record, I don’t agree with that saying, and in this episode I am going to share five reasons why it is
Managing Emotional Outbursts
Outbursts, tantrums, meltdowns… whatever you call them, they’re not fun!But your kids are not hardwired to deal with their emotions, it’s a skill they learn over time, and it’s your job as parent to support them and encourage them to develop those skills.It’s not easy - I can attest to that, having raised two kids myself! And that’s why in this episode I help you understand what causes emotional o
Bucket Emptying: Pocket Money - 5 Benefits You May Not Have Considered
Should I give my children pocket money?How much is enough?Should they have to earn it through chores?Knowing how much, when, and what can feel like a tricky minefield when thinking about pocket money for our kids. Some of you might decide simply not to do it, and that’s ok too.I can’t give you the right answer, because only you know what’s best for your family, but in this bucket emptying episode,
Confidence is on the Decline
Did you know 1 in 3 children have little or no confidence?Did you know girls are more likely to downplay their confidence?And did you know that children from non-white and minority ethnic groups are likely to have less confidence than their white male friends?Today I speak to Kathryn McColl, co-founder of Hark, the education agency that delivers programmes to over 90% of UK schools. Hark recently
Bucket Emptying: Parenting Trends and How They Affect Our Own Parenting
From gentle parenting to FAFO, social media bombards us with content about the latest trends, so how do you really know what works and what doesn’t?In today’s bucket emptying episode, I talk you through some of the biggest parenting trends, and explain how they can be impacting you, and the ways in which you might then choose to parent your own kids.Because parenting is all-consuming. It’s a 24/7/
Let's Talk - 5 Ways to Start a Conversation About Mental Health
Mental health is not just a buzz word, and oftentimes it goes hand in hand with physical health. But because we can’t see mental health, as parents it can be so easy to procrastinate these important conversations that provide a safe, supportive space for our children to really get honest with us.Whether you’re listening to this during Children’s Mental Health week or at any other time of the year,
Bucket Emptying: Valuing Children - 5 Ways to Build a Sense of Belonging
A sense of belonging is a basic human need. Without it can lead to loneliness, depression and many other mental and physical health issues.So to celebrate Children’s Mental Health Week, the theme of which this year is ‘this is my place’, I am going to give you five tips to help your children build their sense of belonging, because the world is a better place with them in it, and it’s our job as pa
Navigating Exam Stress
From the 8 Plus to A-Levels, exams can be a stressful experience… often as much for you, the parent, as the kids.You want the best for them, and of course you want them to do well, but it’s important to make sure we create a supportive environment, and not inadvertently add to the pressure.That’s why, in this important episode, I’m going to talk you through the dos and do nots of navigating exam s
A new perspective on emotional co-regulation
In this bucket emptying episode, I look a bit closer at my conversation with Professor Sam Wass, who you may recognise from such TV shows as The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds. He is is currently Director of the Institute for the Science of Early Years at the University of East London.In last week’s interview he spoke to us at length about his research, but in today’s episode I want to drill down just
Neuroscience and Emotional Regulation in Children, with Professor Sam Wass
Does your child ever get worked up, and you find it escalates super fast but feel powerless to bring them down from that ledge?Every parent has been there, but it’s only in recent years that we have really begun to understand the reasons why, and it’s all about neuroscience.Children’s brains are changing and developing all the time, which means as parents it can be so difficult to keep up, and kno
Stop Making Life Easy! 5 Proven Ways to Build Your Child's Resilience
“I can’t do it!” - as parents we hear this all the time.Our children are learning new skills and experiencing new things every day, which means they are always facing things they’ve never done before. This can be scary, and often our kids might think they can’t do it or they’re not good enough.That’s why building resilience is so important. It gives them the foundation they need to persevere, to f
"Why Won't They Sleep?" The Hidden Factors Affecting Your Child's Sleep Part 2
Why won’t my kids go to sleep at their bed time?It doesn’t matter if your child is 2 or 20, every parent in the world will ask themselves this question, because sometimes, even if we stick to the routine, they just won’t settle down and get in bed.In this episode I continue our discussion around sleep, sharing some of the ways in which overtiredness can impact our kids and what you can do about it
Bucket Emptying: Creating New Habits by Stacking
New year is my favourite time of year.It’s a chance for us to turn a blank page and make conscious changes in our lives. Maybe you want to improve your health, or perhaps you have certain career goals, or maybe you just want to save for that dream family holiday.Whatever it is you set out to do this year, it all comes down to one thing: habits.Saving money is a habit.Eating better is a habit.Exerc
"Why Won't They Sleep?" The Hidden Factors Affecting Your Child's Sleep Part 1
It’s bedtime. You’ve done all the right things. You followed the routine. There are no disruptions. And yet… the kids just won’t go to sleep!We’ve all been there, which is why in this episode, the first of a two-part special, I am going to explore the hidden reasons your children might not sleep.Some of these things might be hiding in plain sight, and that’s ok. Over the next two episodes I am goi
Bucket Emptying: 10 Powerful Questions to Get Your Kids Talking
What did you do today?It’s the question every parents asks when we pick our kids up from school, nursery, or wherever they’ve been. The response is usually ‘I don’t know,’ ‘nothing,’ or a disinterested grunt or huff, am I right?Getting our kids to open up can be painful and frustrating, so in this bucket emptying episode I am sharing 10 questions that will get your children talking.These are every
The Comparison Trap: Why We Compare, When to Say Yes, and the 48-Hour Rule
It’s said that comparison is the thief of joy, and there’s truth to this.Whether it’s your kids thinking their life is so unfair because their friends have phones, or go to parties and they’re not allowed, to you as a parent constantly judging yourself against the other mums and dads at the school gate.In this episode, I show you how to avoid the dreaded comparison trap. I explain the five step re
Bucket Emptying: 10 Things to Say to Your Children Every Day
I believe in you.I will always love you.I am always here for you.How often do you say any of these things to your children?The truth is, it’s probably less you’d like to admit, and you’re not alone. As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in the day to day of parenting, that we forget to give our kids the affirmation and reassurance they want and need from us.In this bucket emptying episode, I’m go
The Power of Failed Goals: Why Broken Resolutions Build Confidence and Capability in Children
Have you and your family made New Year resolutions?And how many have you broken already?I love making resolutions. It’s the highlight of my year. But statistics show that most New Year resolutions are broken, so you are not alone! However, making resolutions, even if we break them, can still be super valuable for our personal growth and in building confidence, especially in our kids.In today’s epi
The Best of 2025
As 2025 draws to a close, I thought the best way to round out another year of the podcast is to give you a compilation of our best bits and the best tips in one episode.Consider this your How Not to Screw Up Your Kids cheat sheet for 2025!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, have a very happy new year, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:05 - Rage Against the Screen0
Merry Christmas: The Best of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from me and the team at How Not to Screw Up Your Kids. However you are celebrating, and whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re having some well earned time off, and getting some precious quality time with your loved ones.Just in case you need a few wise words of encouragement in your ear, here are some of the best bits from the last year of the podcast, taken from
Bucket Emptying: Start Right, End Right - Daily Routines for Calmer, Happier Kids
Our children are sponges. They absorb our energy.So when we start our day with a bang, that rubs off, and our kids will be unbalanced from the get go. And that just sets us all up for a difficult day, doesn’t it?So, in today’s bucket emptying episode, I’m going to share my top tips on how to set up your day for calm, cooperation and compassion.I will give you 5 things that you can do at the start
