Andrew and Charlie Investigate:
Andrew Kirwan and Charlie Milner 56 episodes Nov 12, 2026
Andrew and Charlie Investigate is a weekly podcast hosted by Andrew Kirwan and Charlie Milner. The two set out to uncover the meaning of life while exploring philosophy, psychology, ethics, and morality. Each episode examines a different aspect of humanity and poses questions such as why we dream, why they both wet the bed until they were 14, and what is really wrong with Charlie. The show is conversational and humorous, with ad-free and bonus episodes available through Patreon.
Episodes
Cults #58
Andrew opens up about his time in the Nestle Consumer Panel and being part of a sexually-charged cult at school. The boys then workshop how to get old women and children in their cults and Charlie finally gets some informal processing. For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Jobs #57
The boys discuss Charlie getting no respect at any point in all of his work, how to be an effective ornamental hermit, why we shouldn't bother saving any money and then get trapped in a pornography film. For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandChar
Heroes #56
The boys discuss whether the Ancient Greeks were actually stupid mud people, why putting a pan on your head is very funny and whether people are only saving their family because they might win a pride of Britain award.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/c/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON
Gambling #55
Charlie furthers his analysis as to whether pigs are always camping before the boys discuss the magic casino toilets, why ball games are the best and create a new version of rock paper scissors. For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/c/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Inv
Traditions #54
The boys discuss masturbating in the living room, whether Andrew was abused by a costumed figure at a village fair and whether parades are actually for idiots.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Natural Disasters #53
The boys discuss the fortunate rise of Fearne Cotton, a family that can’t stop getting struck by lightning and why children are wearing pointy foam hats in Japan.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Hotels #52
The boys concoct a swingers hotel for men with micropenises and an arthouse film set in a hotel that’s a big beagle. Andrew’s concierge is being mean to him and Charlie takes us through what role play he would do with his girlfriend in a hotel.
Fashion #51
The boys consider how they’d use the red carpet to make a political protest, why cod pieces are best left in the past - and what’s the deal with landfill?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewkirwancomedy@charlie.charles.ch
Hoaxes #50
Whilst attempting to talk about hoaxes, the boys mostly focus on Michael Owen, what would’ve happened if JFK survived as a brain in a jar and why people couldn’t stop sewing things together in the 19th century.
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 49: Food
This week the boys tackle food, by considering whether it’s possible to fuse a whale with a rooster, whether or not they’d eat their grandmas and we finally get Charlie's salmon curry recipe.
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 48: Espionage
In an episode that focusses very little on Espionage, the boys discuss a hotel for lizards, Charlie goes for a wee near a man he was trying to buy drugs from - and what’s really going on with dentists?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 47: Exploration
The boys discuss whether it’s more impressive to fly to Fiji or crawl to Reading, whether we should go on an expedition with our Dads to an underwater city of dogs, the value of catching crayfish in Medieval ruins - and Charlie takes us on an exploration around the local area.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon h
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 46: Pubs
In an episode where the boys are deeply out of their natural habit (oink! oink! give us some beers or we’ll cry, guv’nor!), Andrew and Charlie consider how pub toilets have changed to stop gay people having sex in them, why Andrew’s friend is dead and how many people should there be per toilet at any given moment.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic s
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 45: Prisons
The boys tackle the issue of incarceration by discussing Charlie’s time at a Christian Summer Camp, the entertainment value in forcing inmates to play poker (whilst a bull runs at them) - and consider whether having animal testicles sewn onto you would make you act like that specific animal.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe t
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 44: Insects
Charlie is an expert on bedbugs and all worms, Andrew just wanted to learn about bees and we attempt to answer the fundamental question: does bugs have souls?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 43: Ghosts
In an emergency podcast recording, the boys are up against the clock to get to the bottom of ghosts, which they achieved by discussing a frog man who likes cucumbers, a woman who married the ghost of captain jack sparrow and the efficacy of 1930s photography. Due to this emergency, this is a mini-investigates, which we couldn't be more sorry for, but we've included our latest patreon as a
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 42: Language
The boys get to the bottom of language by working out exactly what makes Winnie a Pooh, why people pretend they can speak Italian after being bonked on the head, and we expose whistling mountain people for the perverts they really are.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 41: The Ocean
The boys discuss whether sharks are hiding in our toilets, whether it’s worth living forever if you’re a 1cm Jellyfish, whether Charlie might be a seal person and are charmed by a fish who’s also an ecclesiastical officialFor AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 40: Relaxation
Should we all be hit in the head by a hammer once a year? What did Charlie learn from his 21 day meditation course? Is the first name 'White' a suitable premise for a TV sitcom? And why are there so many camels in Australia?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 39: Money
In an episode clearly affected by the recent heatwave, the boys seemingly decide to ignore the topic of money and instead set up a side-hustle podcast called “Desert Island Crisps”, debate whether a bath is the opposite of a boat and discuss Charlie’s attempts to get children to appear in a TikTok video.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 38: Houses
Should we all live in bubbles? Did Charlie kidnap a man? Was Andrew wrong to be naked in a shared house kitchen? Is Sim Jae-duck himself, a toilet?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: / andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 37: World Cups
Charlie messaged Lionel Messi when he was 18, there’s a bog snorkelling world championship in Wales and a wife carrying championship in Finland. For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: / andrewandcharlie FOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewkirwancomedy@charlie.charles.charlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 36: School
The boys spend a significant amount of time discussing dodgy teachers, recap the worst thing that Andrew has ever said, consider why it’s difficult to imagine Donald Trump using a biro and go through some of their childhood writingFor AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 35: Surgery
The boys uncover a worrying conspiracy, discuss Andrew’s lumps, consider whether they’d like to be frozen and suggest that we stop putting teeth in people’s eyes.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 34: Pirates
Should Royal Navy ads be targeted toward 16th century pirates? Are the mysterious sea people boring? What is a spleen? Why has Charlie got back into shoplifting?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 33: Magic
The boys get a very important first guest into the studio whilst discussing the historical development of magic over millennia and Charlie eating only broccoli for breakfastFor AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 32: Fighting
The boys discuss Andrew’s youth karate experience whilst Charlie alienates members of a boxing club by being weird. They continue their deep dive into the world of ants and consider which one of them would win in a fight
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 31: Farming
Andrew takes a call with Farmer Eustace to discuss the changing landscape of modern farming. Charlie defends his desire for breastmilk. The boys then chart the troubling rise of Nazi Cows and the international power of Old MacDonald.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 29: Revenge
Is revenge a dish best served cold or should we pop it back in the microwave for a bit? An important woman is scandalously silenced, Charlie encourages old testament vigilantism and we crown Miss Revenge 2024.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 28: The Circus
The boys discuss how to modernise the circus, Charlie is rude to some freaks, they analyse the horrible tale of an elephant being hung and have a long misunderstanding about the purpose of the Association of Circus Proprietors of Great Britain.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewan
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 27: Vehicles
Do animals think cars are animals? Is a pot of hummus a vehicle? Should we combine showers and cars? Charlie teaches Andrew how to drive.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 26: The Army
Would you prefer to fight an army of Paul Hollywoods or an army of paraplegics? How can we improve military recruitment slogans? How can we enlist River Trolls to help deceive the enemy? And what can we learn from our childhood experiences of breakdancing?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 25: Trees
In their most non-sensical episode yet, the boys attempt to discuss trees whilst answering questions such as: How many of the tallest dwarfs is the biggest tree? Is it worse f*cking a tree or a car? Is there such a thing as human race of giants? Does living in a tree house mean you have to eat tree? They also get their first guest on.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, gro
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 24: Aliens
Would putting on an intergalactic talent show help appease malevolent aliens? Are we all just in a giant bowl of pasta being consumed by a large entity? Are alien abduction stories just excuses for men who have masturbated? Would having sex with an Alien ruin your wedding day?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon h
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 23: Holidays
In this week’s episode the boys spend most of their time defining what a holiday is, asking important questions such as: can you go on holiday to your living room and is it possible to stay attached to your mother’s umbilical cord until you’re 21?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andre
EMERGENCY PATREON RELEASE - 'An Eye Full of Chilli'
CHARLIE IS STUCK IN AUSTRALIA BECAUSE OF WAR SO WE COULDN'T RECORD A FRESH EPISODE! We're releasing a Patreon episode for free this week in place of the main. We are VERY sorry about this, we love you all and will be back to regular programming next week.The boys discuss another disastrous weekend for Charlie, why old people's chairs are so important, the Epstein files* and Charlie'
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 22: Deception
The boys discuss how their dead bodies would be more use to a war effort than their alive ones, what could get done with an invisible penis, they dive into Charlie’s short lived modelling career and finally settle whether or not babies have the ability to breathe underwater.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon her
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 21: Monsters
The boys discuss whether there should be a Nintendogs for our inner demons, Charlie’s visit to just outside of the Coronation Street set, they each create new monsters for the modern world and decide which mythical beast is the most desirable.Their pieces take us inside Andrew’s bedroom and raising a baby monster.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic s
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 20: The Weather
In their dumbest episode yet, the boys discuss: Can you make a cloud in your bedroom? How can we make weather discussion more interesting? Does everyone want to be struck by lightning? Why are Frognados so prolific? They also exhibit some of their most bizarre pieces which take us into a shop selling Charlie Milner’s and a particularly rainy day.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 19: The Winter Olympics
What in the world does the person at the bottom of the double luge do? Are all snowboarders good for nothing weed-smoking teenagers? Why is everyone meaner in the snow? And the boys turn their haters into Diesel fuel. The pieces take us down the ice track and into a troubling new obsession within a relationship.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic sug
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 18: Shops
Could we save the high street with holograms? Is it acceptable to fondle avocados in Tesco? Does Charlie live in a Londis? What would a Moonpig shop look like?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 17: Volcanoes
Are volcanoes insecure or horny? Could volcanoes take us to space? Can you swim under Britain? Would Charlie have been a top graffiti artist in Pompeii?The pieces take us into the final minutes before Pompeii’s explosion and a Volcano trying to become a man.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreo
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 16: Clubbing
Is Andrew too big a fan of Top Gear to go clubbing? Should Charlie stop pounding his fists like a monkey on the dancefloor? Was it right that Andrew became the victim of a public shaming for his friend’s theft of an ornament on a Psytrance night? Should we ban baby raves? The boys also take on their most ambitious piece to date.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group cha
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 15: Memory
Was Charlie responsible for the Boston Marathon bombings? Would it be better if we all had a photographic memory? Is Charlie to blame for a naked woman nearly falling through a roof? Why did Andrew put a moose’s antlers up his nose?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 14: Resolutions
Should we become lethal for new year? Should we be meaner to our friends? What does potato language sound like? Do we only inherit nipples from our mothers?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 13: Christmas
Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone.
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 12: Aviation
Should we put babies in the overhead bins? Should everyone be allowed a plane? Will Charlie’s dad succeed in his quest for flight? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 11: Technology
Are our fridges listening to us? Has there been a cover up of a sentient malignant printer? Should we all be uploaded to the cloud instead of having bodies? What the fuck is going on with vinyl grooves?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 10: Criminal Justice
Are jury trials outdated? Should we incubate a small boy to make all our legal decisions? Was the pig who was tried for murder actually innocent? What's the drawn in hung, drawn and quartered? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 9: Advertising
Should we go back to a Soviet style of advertising? Why is Charlie so allured by the baby Evian advert? Can smells make you give more to charity? What would an advert for this podcast look like?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigat
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 8: Injury
Why is Charlie faking an injury? Why does a metal pole in your skull turn you into a lewd man? How can a Haemorrhoid make you a feminist? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewkirwancomedy@charlie.charles.charlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 7: Responsibility
Do you have to be bald to be baptised as an adult? Why does a town keep voting in Goat Mayors? Should you help find a lost baby’s parents if it’s having a great time?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewkirwancomedy @charl
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 6: Exercise
Should Charlie get into mall walking? Why's everyone running marathons? When should you stop calling your Dad, Daddy? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewkirwancomedy@charlie.charles.charlie
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 5: Conformity
Is it possible to be a free individual in a mass society? Why does Andrew look like an Italian peasant? What lessons can we learn from conformity experiments? Does Charlie think that the moon was made by ants? Why are Andrew and Charlie so confused? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/an
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 4: Theft
Is it ever just to steal? How do you do a weekly shop? Should we approach theft from a utilitarian or absolutist standpoint? When does a beech stop being a beach? For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewkirwancomedy@charlie.
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 3: Ageing
We ask important questions such as: What are the ethics around getting plastic surgery to look 10 again? Why is Charlie going grey so early? And why does Bryan Johnson look like that?For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewk
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 2: Nudity
The boys take it all off.For AD-free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats, and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlie_Investigate @andrewkirwancomedy@charlie.charles.charlieEdited by LRG Studios
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 1.5: Solitude
Uploading a previous episode. Here the boys swim in the seas of loneliness, trying to uncover what, if anything can be gained from being alone.For AD free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlieInvestigate @andrewkirwancomedy@charlie.charles.charlieEdited
Andrew & Charlie Investigate | Episode 1: Fear
The boys dive into their innermost troubles, discussing what keeps themselves and the world up at night - and why.For AD free episodes, weekly bonus episodes, advice threads, group chats and topic suggestions, subscribe to our Patreon here: https://patreon.com/andrewandcharlieFOLLOW US ON: @AndrewandCharlieInvestigate @andrewkirwancomedy@charlie.charles.charlieEdited by LRG Studios
Trailer
See you next Thursday.
