An Evolving Man Podcast
An Evolving Man Podcast explores leadership, emotional intelligence, trauma, healing and peak performance. Hosted by Piers Cross, the show features conversations with leading psychologists, psychiatrists, executive coaches, authors, researchers and high-performance leaders, alongside solo episodes on leadership, resilience, relationships and personal transformation. Drawing on the latest research in psychology, neuroscience, attachment, trauma and human performance, the podcast helps leaders develop greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and the capacity to lead with clarity, compassion and courage. Whether you are a CEO, founder, entrepreneur or aspiring leader, each episode offers practical insights to help you thrive professionally while creating a more meaningful and connected life.
Episodes
Birthdays and Boarding School
What were birthdays like in boarding school?Were they celebrated or ignored?Or did you get hazed or bullied on your birthday.Take care,Piers---Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evol
Why Do the Same People Keep Triggering Me? Leadership, Shadow Work and Boundaries
Why do the same people keep triggering us?Why do certain relationships, colleagues, family members or situations seem to provoke the same reaction again and again?In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore emotional triggers from the perspective of leadership, Jungian psychology, boarding school trauma, nervous system regulation and personal sovereignty.This is an important subject for
Kindness in Schools: Creating Emotional Safety for Children | Masha Kastner & David Moss | AEM #165
In this deeply moving episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Masha Castner and David Moss, founders and directors of Kind Waves.Kind Waves is a UK charity created to help schools build deeper cultures of kindness, emotional safety and positive relationships. The charity was born from the heartbreaking death of Masha and David’s 13-year-old daughter, Helena, known as Heli, who took her ow
5 Reasons We Need to Stop Sending Future Leaders to Boarding School
Prince George is set to attend Eton College, continuing a long tradition of future leaders being educated in elite boarding schools.But is this really the best way to prepare someone for leadership in the 21st century?In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore five reasons why we need to stop sending our future leaders to boarding school.Drawing on modern leadership literature, boarding
Porn Addiction, Shame & Mindfulness | Jeremy Lipkowitz on Breaking Free from Destructive Habits | AEM #164
In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Jeremy Lipkowitz, executive coach, meditation teacher, leadership facilitator and founder of Unhooked Academy.Jeremy works with high-achieving men who want to break free from destructive habits, porn addiction, compulsive sexual behaviour, shame and emotional avoidance. After overcoming addiction and depression in his early twenties through
Keir Starmer Resigns: What Britain’s Leadership Crisis Reveals About Emotional Intelligence
For Thursday's leadership workshop: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1991361811785?aff=oddtdtcreatorKeir Starmer’s resignation marks another major moment in British political leadership.If the UK is now heading towards its seventh Prime Minister in just over a decade, the deeper question is not simply who comes next.The deeper question is:What kind of leadership culture are we creating?In this
Boarding School Syndrome, Power & Politics | Dominic Waterson on Boris Johnson, Tony Blair & Elite Leadership |AEM #163
Why do so many politicians, business leaders and influential public figures come from boarding schools?In this fascinating conversation, I sit down with researcher, author and podcaster Dominic Waterson to explore the hidden influence of childhood experiences, elite education and institutional culture on leadership and power.Drawing on years of research for his book Traitors: The Pandemic Politici
The Conversations You're Not Having | Piers Cross
For the workshop: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-conversations-youre-not-having-tickets-1991361811785?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true Many leaders, entrepreneurs and former boarders avoid the conversations that matter most.Not because they don't know what needs to be said.But because somewhere deep in the nervous system, speaking up still feels dangerous.In this episode of An Evolvin
Lessons from Training 90,000 People | Why High Achievers Still Feel Empty | AEM #162 Will Steel
What if the thing holding you back isn't your circumstances, your team, your strategy, or even your mindset?What if it's the story you've been unconsciously living for decades?In this powerful conversation, leadership coach and author Will Steel shares his journey from Royal Air Force pilot to transformational coach and leadership expert.Together we explore authenticity, emotional i
Boarding School Syndrome: The Grief We Were Never Allowed to Feel | Piers Cross
When my wife Michelle died in 2025, I expected grief.What I did not expect was that her death would reconnect me with another loss that had remained hidden for decades.The loss of my mother.The loss of my family.The loss of home.The loss of safety.The loss that began when I was sent away to boarding school.In this deeply personal episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore the striking similarit
Police Chief: From Ego to Emotional Intelligence: Dr. Ron Camacho on Leadership & Trauma | AEM #161
What happens when a leader confronts their own trauma?In this fascinating conversation, Piers Cross sits down with Dr. Ron Kamacho, police chief, leadership consultant and author, to explore how emotional intelligence transformed his life and leadership.Ron shares his journey from highly driven, ego-based leadership to a more compassionate, accountable and emotionally intelligent approach.Together
Prep School vs Public School: Which Was Harder?
One of the questions I hear most often from former boarders is:"Why did I hate prep school but love public school?"Or sometimes:"Why was public school much harder than prep school?"In this solo episode, I explore the different experiences people report and why those differences may exist.Drawing on stories from Roald Dahl, David Cameron, Ranulph Fiennes, Bear Grylls and John Pe
Why Ex-Boarders Struggle With Boundaries | Boarding School Trauma, People Pleasing & Leadership
Why do so many boarding school survivors struggle with boundaries?In this episode, Piers Cross explores how boarding school conditioning can shape people pleasing, emotional suppression and difficulty saying no later in life.Drawing on trauma theory, attachment work and years of coaching leaders and ex-boarders, Piers explores why boundaries can feel dangerous for many trauma survivors — and why n
Why Do We Self Sabotage As Ex-Boarders?
To register for the webinar: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/why-smart-leaders-still-self-sabotage-identify-and-break-hidden-patterns-tickets-1988408152310Why do we sabotage the very things we say we want?In this episode, Piers Cross explores self-sabotage through the lens of boarding school survival patterns, trauma, leadership and nervous system regulation.Drawing on Gay Hendricks’ concept of th
Polyvagal Theory, Vagus Nerve & Boarding School Trauma
Here is the link to this Friday's podcast with Sara Warner about the vagus nerve and wearables: https://youtu.be/HpxcTW0oKI8 In this episode, I explore polyvagal theory, the vagus nerve, childhood trauma and boarding school syndrome.Following my recent conversation with Sarah Warner about vagus nerve stimulation, wearables and nervous system regulation, I wanted to look more closely at what
Why Criticism Feels So Painful for Ex-Boarders
In this episode, I explore why criticism can feel so painful for those of us who went to boarding school.For many ex-boarders, criticism does not simply feel like feedback. It can feel like danger. It can activate old patterns of shame, fear, compliance, dissociation or defensiveness.I reflect on boarding school conditioning, the fear of getting things wrong, Nick Duffell’s work on wounded leaders
Music Therapy, Boarding School Trauma & Healing Through Connection | Helen Odell-Miller | AEM #159
In Episode 159 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Professor Helen Odell-Miller OBE, one of the UK’s leading pioneers in music therapy.Helen has spent decades working with trauma, attachment, mental health and emotional healing through music. She also worked closely with the late Joy Schaverien, whose work on boarding school syndrome transformed the conversation around early separation and i
Does Boarding School Create Resilience… or Dissociation?
Many boarding schools claim they build resilience.But what if what they often create is something else entirely?In this episode, I explore the difference between true resilience and dissociation, and why so many ex-boarders struggle with relationships, emotional regulation, connection and rest later in life.Drawing on the work of Barbara Fredrickson, Emma Seppälä, Joy Schaverien, Nick Duffell and
Crowds & Power at Boarding School | Why We Joined In (And How to Forgive Ourselves) | Piers Cross
In this episode, I explore the powerful influence of crowds and group behaviour, particularly within boarding school environments.Why do people join in when someone is being shamed or targeted? Why does it happen so quickly — and often without conscious thought?Drawing on Elias Canetti’s Crowds and Power and modern neuroscience around mirror neurons, this episode looks at how emotional contagion s
Third Culture Kid, Boarding School Survivor, Humanitarian | Peter Sykes’ Powerful Story | AEM #158
In Episode 158 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Peter Sykes — humanitarian, strategist, writer and author of Somewhere Never Home.Peter has led major humanitarian responses across the world, but in this conversation we explore the deeply personal side of his story.We talk about growing up as a third culture kid, being sent to boarding school at age 10, identity loss, addiction, achievemen
The Loss of Identity at Boarding School | Shame, Conformity & Healing
In this short solo episode, I reflect on one of the deepest impacts of boarding school:The loss of identity.What happens when children learn that their name, hobbies, feelings and individuality are not safe?Drawing on my recent conversation with Peter Sykes, I explore how institutional environments shape children into survival personalities — the complier, the rebel or the crushed child.We also lo
UK Child Protection: Grooming | Safeguarding Failures | What Schools Aren’t Telling Parents | AEM #157
In episode 157 of An Evolving Man, I speak with Kimberly Isherwood and Joan Ginsberg from Public Child Protection Wales.Together we explore one of the most urgent and difficult issues in modern society: how we genuinely protect children from harm.Kimberly and Joan share why Public Child Protection Wales was founded, what they see happening on the ground in education and safeguarding, and why they
Boarding on Insanity Screening in Glastonbury (18th April) | Trauma, Leadership & Group Healing
To buy tickets for the Glastonbury screening on 18th April 6.30-9pm or to share it: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/goodwillinactiontopreventsuicidecio/2140155 In this short video, I’m sharing some reflections and inviting you to a special screening of our documentary Boarding on Insanity on April 18th in Glastonbury.This feels like a full-circle moment, as we return to the very retreat centr
Childhood Trauma, Identity & Emotional Truth | AEM #156 Christopher J Wesley
In Episode 156 of An Evolving Man, I speak with Christopher J. Wesley — artist, speaker, and emotional leadership thinker — about trauma, identity, and emotional truth in a world shaped by pressure, performance, and algorithms.Christopher shares his powerful journey from early childhood abuse to rebuilding his identity through grief, creativity, and self-awareness.We explore how trauma shapes the
Boarding School Syndrome & The Outer Critic | Pete Walker's Complex PTSD | Inner | Piers Cross
In this episode of An Evolving Man, I explore the concept of the outer critic — a key pattern in trauma, CPTSD, and boarding school syndrome.Drawing on the work of Pete Walker, we look at how unresolved emotional pain can turn outward, shaping how we judge, mistrust, and distance ourselves from others.While the inner critic attacks the self, the outer critic targets others — often silently and unc
Flow State, Burnout, Purpose and the Future of Leadership | AEM #155 Deri Llewellyn-Davies
In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Deri Llewellyn-Davies — boardroom strategist, creator of the Ultra States framework, and someone deeply immersed in the worlds of performance, pressure, recovery, and leadership.Deri has worked with hundreds of boards and has also pushed himself through extreme endurance events, giving him a rare perspective on what prolonged pressure does to the h
Digestion & Stomach Problems | A Common Symptom of Ex-Boarders | Piers Cross
Over the years I have noticed a common ailment among ex-boarders. And that is stomach issues. Why is that? And what can we do now? #digestion #trauma #boardingschoolsyndrome ---Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, re
Andrew, Fergie, Epstein & Boarding School Trauma: A Psychological Perspective
Prince Andrew, Epstein, and boarding school trauma — exploring the psychology behind early experiences and adult behaviour.In this episode, I explore the psychological patterns that may sit beneath well-known public narratives.Looking at Prince Andrew, Sarah Ferguson, and Ghislaine Maxwell, I reflect on their early childhood experiences — including boarding school and family dynamics — and how the
Beautiful Leadership: Integrity, Empathy, Ethics & Leading Under Pressure | AEM #154 Dawn Stallwood | Piers Cross
In this episode of An Evolving Man, I speak with Dawn Stallwood — corporate and commercial lawyer turned leadership counsel, chief integrity officer, entrepreneur, and author of Beautiful Leadership.Dawn brings nearly three decades of experience advising boards, founders and senior leaders, and in this conversation we explore what it really means to lead with integrity, empathy, humility and coura
Boarding School In The Press, Film & Media | Elio | Young Sherlock | Eton | St Chris' | Piers Cross
For the leaders' workshop about dealing with pressure: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/leadership-under-pressure-how-you-can-manage-pressure-better-tickets-1982772564114?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=ebdsshcopyurl ---Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mai
Pressure Reveals Conditioning: Leadership, Stress and Emotional Intelligence
How do leaders behave when pressure rises?In this episode, Piers Cross explores how stress reveals the underlying conditioning that shapes leadership behaviour.Drawing on leadership research and psychology, the conversation looks at how many leaders unconsciously revert to learned survival strategies under pressure — particularly those who grew up in highly structured or emotionally restrictive en
Beyond the Shell: Leadership, Anxiety and Emotional Ownership | AEM #153 Matt Young | Piers Cross
Piers Cross speaks with leadership coach and former professional footballer Matt Young about identity, emotional intelligence, and sustainable performance.After eight years in elite sport, Matt’s career ended abruptly. Without football, he was forced to confront anxiety, self-doubt, and a deeper fear many high achievers recognise — not being good enough beneath the role. That painful period led hi
The First Night: Boarding School Separation and the Psychology of Attachment
In this episode, Piers Cross explores the psychological impact of a child’s first night at boarding school and why it often becomes a lifelong emotional imprint.Drawing on accounts from Richard Branson, Sebastian Faulks, and Peter Sykes, we examine what happens when children are separated from their families at a young age. Many remember intense fear, others remember nothing at all — a sign of dis
Jane Barclay: Boarding School, the Body, and the Long Road Back to Love | AEM #152
In this episode, Piers Cross is joined by Jane Barclay, a humanistic psychology practitioner, UKCP-accredited, and a member of the BACP.Jane shares her journey into counselling and trauma work — beginning with a major life move, a profound sense of disorientation, and what she later recognised as a traumatic reaction to separation. Her story moves into the heart of boarding school experience: ear
The Train That Never Stops: Boarding School Conditioning, Overwork and Burnout
Many leaders and high performers live as if they are unable to stop.In this episode, Piers Cross explores the long-term psychological effects of boarding school timetabling and how it conditions the nervous system to equate busyness with safety.Children raised in highly structured environments learn to stay constantly active. Stillness becomes uncomfortable — even threatening. As adults this often
Boarding School Shame: How It Shapes Identity, Safety, and Self-Trust | AEM #151 Jessica Boston
What does boarding school shame do to a child’s nervous system — especially when it’s wrapped in privilege, silence, and “you should be grateful”? In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Jessica Boston — trauma-informed transformation coach and creator of The Homecoming Method (a somatic approach integrating subconscious reprogramming, nervous-system safety, and reparenting). Together w
One Year on From My Wife's Death - 3 Learnings That Have Helped Me | Piers Cross
One year on from my wife, Michelle's death.What are some reflections? What are 3 things that have really helped me?Here is the interview with her: https://youtu.be/fKs1A_4xw7ATake care,Piers---Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups
Dr. Amy Albright — Safety, Trauma, and the Neuroscience of Human Potential | AEM #150
In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Dr. Amy Albright, an expert in human potential who bridges neuroscience, health, business strategy, and spirituality with rare depth and academic rigour.We go deep into a theme that affects so many leaders — especially those shaped by early separation, boarding school, adoption, or childhood trauma: safety.Amy explains why safety is not a motivatio
Safety, Boarding School, and the Nervous System: What the Body Remembers
What happens to a child’s nervous system when safety is missing — not for a moment, but for years?In this episode, Piers reflects on safety and boarding school, exploring how chronic fear, hypervigilance, and emotional suppression shape the adult nervous system long after school ends.Drawing from lived experience, trauma psychology, and insights from neuroscientist Dr. Amy Albright, this conversat
Masati: Near-Death Experiences, Trauma, Coherence & Exponential Intelligence | AEM #149
In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Masati, CEO and founder of Exponential Intelligence Science (XI). After multiple near-death experiences, Masati devoted his life to understanding human potential beyond conventional performance psychology—exploring coherence, consciousness, and what creates real, measurable change.We begin with Masati’s personal story: a life-threatening accident i
Why Ex-Boarders Struggle With Decision-Making | Trauma, Leadership & Intuition
Why do so many ex-boarders struggle with decision-making — especially in senior leadership, relationships, and life?In this reflective solo episode, I explore how boarding school conditioning shapes our ability to think independently, trust intuition, and make decisions without fear of rejection or punishment.Drawing on the work of Nick Duffell, I unpack the three core survival patterns often seen
Jon Wedger (Ex-Met Detective) on Institutional Child Sexual Abuse, Cover-Ups, and Why Justice Matters | AEM #148
In this powerful episode of An Evolving Man, Piers Cross speaks with Jon Wedger (also widely known as John Wedger) — former Metropolitan Police detective and leading UK whistleblower on institutional child sexual abuse and safeguarding failures.Jon shares what he witnessed while working in specialist units, including child protection, and why he believes abuse is too often protected by silence, st
Speaking Up at the House of Commons: Fear, Courage & Choosing the Challenge Response | Piers Cross
In this short reflection recorded outside the House of Commons, Piers Cross shares a deeply personal moment before screening a documentary on institutional harm and child protection.He explores:The fear of speaking upHow trauma can wire us to avoid, hide, or runThe shift from threat response to challenge responseWhy embracing discomfort can improve performance, resilience, and even longevityRefere
Boarding School Syndrome in Women: Trauma, Hyper-Independence & Healing | Kara Blackmore | AEM #147
In this episode of An Evolving Man, Piers speaks with Kara Blackmore — a trauma-informed coach specialising in the long-term emotional and nervous system impacts of boarding school experiences, especially for women.Kara shares her personal story: choosing boarding school at age 10, the shock of early separation, and the reality of living in an environment with minimal adult supervision, rigid cont
Moral Injury & Boarding School | How Early Institutional Trauma Damages a Child’s Moral Compass
In this episode, Piers explores the concept of moral injury and asks whether boarding school environments can create a deep, values-based psychological wound in children.Moral injury occurs when someone is forced to act against, witness, or remain silent in the face of behaviour that violates their inner moral values. Unlike PTSD, which is fear-based, moral injury is rooted in guilt, shame, loss o
Boarding School, Stress & Performance: England Cricket, Trauma & Leadership
Here is the link to reach out to your MP for the screening in the House of Commons: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/In this New Year reflection episode, I share an update on the upcoming House of Commons screening of Boarding on Insanity and explore a powerful insight that emerged for me over Christmas while watching the Ashes series.Why does England’s cricket
Home Alone vs UK Boarding School Culture: The Psychology of Separation | Piers Cross
This week I rewatched Home Alone — and realised it can be viewed as a surprisingly powerful study of child development, attachment, and the psychology of separation.Kevin is eight years old — an age that matters deeply in the UK context, because it has historically been an age when many children began boarding school. In this short reflection, I explore key moments in the film through a boarding-s
The Mother Wound & Boarding School | Rupture, Repair, and the Cost of Separation | Piers Cross
In this reflective episode, Piers Cross explores boarding school, the mother wound, and the lasting impact of early separation from parents — particularly as Christmas approaches.Inspired by a powerful public conversation between Amelia White and her mother, Piers reflects on how boarding school disrupts natural attachment, prevents rupture and repair, and often leaves relationships with parents —
Protect Children: Boarding School Abuse & Mandatory Reporting | House of Commons Screening
For the article in the Telegraph: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education-and-careers/2025/12/03/working-at-a-boarding-school-is-like-being-in-a-cult/ And for the letter to write to your MP: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/ In this short solo episode, I share an update and a heartfelt thank you.On 19th January 2026, we’ll be hosting a special screening of our d
Boarding School, Neurodiversity & Shame: Adverse School Experiences | Ian Keys & Piers Cross AEM#146
In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast (AEM #146), I speak with Ian Keys, an ex-boarder, youth worker and newly qualified counsellor, about what really happens when neurodiverse children move through a schooling system that doesn’t understand them.Ian started boarding school at 11 and left with no qualifications, convinced he was “thick”. Decades later, after working with excluded teenagers, f
Are Boarding Schools Ending? The Quiet Collapse No One Is Talking About | Piers Cross
Are boarding schools reaching the end of the road?To contact your MP to get them to attend the House of Commons screening please visit here: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/ In today’s episode, I reflect on last week’s conference honouring Dr Joy Schaverien and share surprising insights from conversations with people working inside the current boarding school
Honouring Joy Schaverien: A Landmark Event on Boarding School Trauma | Piers Cross
In this episode, I share reflections on the upcoming event The Silent Damage of Boarding School — a special day honouring the life and work of Dr Joy Schaverien, whose research into Boarding School Syndrome has transformed the field of trauma and psychotherapy.I walk through what the event includes, who will be speaking, and why Joy’s contributions continue to be so influential across psychology,
"I Was Terrified!" Fear and Boarding School | Piers Cross
For the link to Nicky Moxey and Dr Linda Devereux's book Worlds Away From Home: https://amzn.eu/d/9sE6I0jFear is one of the most overlooked experiences in boarding school life. In this episode, Piers reflects on his own memories of fear and explores why so many ex-boarders still carry hypervigilance and survival patterns into adulthood. Drawing on research from Suzanne Zeedyk, Nick Duffell a
Emotional Fitness: From Dissociation to Emotional Mastery | Corey Corpodian | Piers Cross AEM #145
In this transformative conversation, Piers Cross speaks with Corey Corpodian — author, orthodontist, and host of the Unleash Success Podcast — about how to master your emotions, build resilience, and lead with authenticity.After achieving every external marker of success, Corey found himself deeply unfulfilled. A life-changing health scare set him on a new path toward emotional fitness — a discipl
AI, Neuroscience & Boarding School: Why Emotional Intelligence Is the Future | Piers Cross
What do AI, neuroscience, and boarding schools have in common?In this reflective solo episode, Piers Cross explores how artificial intelligence mirrors the left-brain dominance of elite education — and why the real revolution ahead is emotional, not technological.Drawing on thinkers like Arthur Brooks, Daniel Goleman, and Nick Duffell, Piers unpacks why empathy, adaptability, and emotional intelli
Big Thank You To Boarding School Concern Conference | Reflections and My Dissociation | Piers Cross
Some reflections about last Saturday's Boarding School Concern conference.What an amazing, heart-felt day. I felt very blessed to be there. A big thank you to all the organisers and volunteers and all the participants for attending. It was lovely to meet so many of you. I talk a little about dissociation which is what happened during my talk. To learn more about the BS Concern's work pl
Sarah Perrett | The Emotion Code | Reconnecting With Your Heart & Emotions | AEM #144 Piers Cross
In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Sarah Jane Perrett, an intuitive happiness coach and energy practitioner who helps people release emotional baggage, reconnect with their intuition, and rediscover joy.Sarah shares her extraordinary journey from post-natal depression and breakdown to a profound spiritual awakening in 2013 — and how this experience led her to the transformati
Boarding School Survivors Conference 2025 – Join Us in London
The Boarding School Survivors Conference 2025 (formerly Boarding School Concern) takes place on 1st November in London (Euston). I’ll be speaking and showing our documentary Boarding on Insanity with a live Q&A.Speakers include Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Dr Linda Devereux, Nicky Moxey, and Nick Duffell, among others. It’s an extraordinary event for anyone exploring the long-term impacts of early separ
Censored Letters: What Boarding School Taught Us About Self-Silencing | Jeremy Paxman | Piers Cross
In this episode, I reflect on letter writing at boarding school — and what those censored, monitored, or ignored letters reveal about the emotional isolation many children experienced.Drawing on the writings of Nick Duffell, Jeremy Paxman, and Karen Wilson, as well as my own childhood letters from the 1980s, I explore how boarding schools conditioned children to hide their real feelings.This conve
Discipline, Punishment & Expulsion At A Girl's Boarding School | Karen Wilson AEM #143 | Piers Cross
In episode #143 of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Karen Wilson, author of Atrocious Behavior.Karen was sent to boarding school at just seven years old and expelled by ten. Her memoir captures the harsh reality of punishment, isolation, and shame — and her later discovery of healing through theatre, teaching, and reflection.We explore how trauma lives on in the body, how neglect shapes the nervous
"You're Gay!" Homophobia and Homosexuality in Boarding Schools | Stephen Fry | Piers Cross
What happens when a generation of children are raised to fear softness, sensitivity, and touch?In this solo reflection, I look at the unspoken culture of homophobia and repression in boarding schools — where words like “you’re gay” became weapons of humiliation. Drawing from Boarding School Syndrome by Joy Schaverien, Trauma, Abandonment & Privilege by Nick Duffell, and reflections from Stephe
The Entitlement Endemic: Boarding School To The Boardroom | AEM #142 Collette Easton | Piers Cross
What happens when the patterns of boarding school shape the boardroom?In this episode, I speak with Collette Easton — former CEO, executive coach, and author of Manager. Collette shares her journey from boarding school and the RAF, to building digital businesses, and now helping leaders overcome toxic patterns that hold them back.We discuss:The impact of boarding school on leadership stylesWhy som
Fixed vs Growth Mindset: What Boarding Schools Really Teach Us
Do boarding schools create fixed mindset thinkers or growth mindset leaders? In this episode, I explore Carol Dweck’s research on Mindset and connect it with my experiences — and those of many clients — who came through the boarding school system.We unpack the core differences between fixed and growth mindsets, look at how school culture fosters one or the other, and explore practical ways to shif
Anthony Abbagnano: Healing Trauma, Breathwork, and Boarding School | AEM #141 | Piers Cross
In episode 141 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Anthony Abbagnano, founder of Alchemy of Breath.Anthony shares his deeply personal story of childhood trauma, boarding school experiences, and how an encounter with breathwork as a child shaped the course of his life. Today, he’s one of the world’s leading voices in conscious breathwork, with facilitators trained in more than 70 countries.We
Breathwork, Trauma & Healing: Reflections on Anthony Abbagnano’s Work
In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I share reflections on the power of breathwork and how it helps us heal from trauma.Drawing on insights from my recent interview with Anthony Abbagnano (founder of Alchemy of Breath), as well as the work of Bessel van der Kolk and Emma Seppälä, I explore:Why trauma often causes us to hold or restrict the breathHow different breathing patterns affect emot
Bullying, Burnout & the Inner Critic | Boarding School | AEM #140 Kalyani Pardeshi
In this episode, I sit down with Kalyani Pardeshi, award-winning author, TEDx speaker, and anti-bullying advocate. Kalyani draws from her own boarding school experiences and her years of work with children, adults, and organisations to explain why traditional anti-bullying strategies often fail — and how the unconscious brain holds the key to real change.We explore the painful reality of bullying,
Girls’ Experiences of Boarding School — Shame, Survival & Silenced Voices
For the interview with Kalyani Pardeshi: https://youtu.be/iBXcs5i4zyg For the interview with Nicky Moxey and Dr Linda Devereux: https://youtu.be/oJNHoex41-Q For the interview with Sara Warner and Karen Macmillan:https://youtu.be/VXAHJucCGsY For the interview with Amelia White: https://youtu.be/08WbNwen_SA For the interview with Joanna Brittan: https://youtu.be/MJknonuf4Sw For Karen Wilson's
UnEldered: Françoise Elvin on Eldership, Attachment & Healing Boarding School Trauma | AEM #139
In this episode of An Evolving Man, I speak with Françoise Elvin, counsellor, mentor, facilitator, and author of Uneldered. We discuss:Secure vs insecure attachment — and how it shapes our adult livesTrauma as “undigested experience” and the importance of integrationWhy elders and initiatory practices are vital for healthy societiesThe balance of masculine (yang) and feminine (yin) initiationHer u
Healing the “I’m Not Good Enough” Belief in Ex-Boarders
In this solo episode, I explore one of the deepest wounds many ex-boarders carry: “I’m not good enough.”We look at:Why this belief develops in boarding school environmentsThe double bind that places blame inward on the childHow it manifests later in life as burnout, addiction, or perfectionismThe role of attachment in buffering or amplifying traumaPractical ways to reframe self-talk, celebrate ach
Disguised Trauma of Early Boarding & Adoption | Complex PTSD | Addictions | AEM #138 Paul Sunderland
In this episode, I sit down with Paul Sunderland, an internationally respected addiction specialist and trainer. With decades of clinical experience on both sides of the Atlantic, Paul has become a leading voice on the often-hidden connection between complex PTSD, adoption, boarding school trauma, and addiction.We explore:Paul’s personal story of addiction and recovery.Why early separation wounds
Why Are Early Boarders & Adoptees Over Represented In Addictions | Piers Cross
I spoke with addiction specialist Paul Sunderland on Monday: https://youtu.be/a7tBz4adgGo In the conversation he spoke about addictions and why early boarders and adoptees are over represented in addiction treatment and recovery. He calls these traumas "disguised" in the way that they are seen as lucky. I also talk about how Paul refers to the equation: Stress - Without Attachment = Trau
Eton vs Marlborough | Which Boarding School Should Prince George Go To? | Piers Cross
Should Prince George follow his father to Eton College — or his mother to Marlborough College? Or should he avoid boarding altogether?In this episode, I explore the debate currently surrounding Prince William and Kate Middleton’s choice of school for their son, who has just turned 12. Drawing on stories from both Eton and Marlborough, as well as insights from neuroscience and decades of research i
A Deep Dive Into Healing Trauma With Plant Medicines | AEM #137 Dr Richard Grossman | Piers Cross
What role can plant medicines play in deep trauma healing?In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Richard Grossman — acupuncturist, healer, and long-time student of Amazonian plant medicine traditions. We explore his decades of work at the intersection of Eastern medicine, shamanic healing, and trauma recovery.Dr. Grossman shares his experiences studying with indigenous tea
The Evolution of Leadership: From Command & Control to Compassionate Leadership
In this episode, I reflect on the changing face of leadership. For generations, leaders operated in a command-and-control style—authoritarian, hierarchical, and often ruthless. But today, we’re seeing a shift toward emotionally and spiritually intelligent leadership, grounded in compassion, care, and trust.I draw on insights from books and leaders including Admiral Mike Manazir, Simon Sinek, Richa
Boarding School Abuse Survivor Speaks Out | New Zealand | Dilworth: AEM #136 Neil Harding
In this deeply moving and vital episode of The Evolving Man Podcast, I sit down with Neil Harding — survivor, advocate, and whistleblower — to speak honestly and bravely about the widespread child sexual abuse that took place at Dilworth School in New Zealand.Neil was a full-time boarder from the age of 9. For decades, he held onto the trauma he experienced there, until the day came when he could
When Your Parents Went to Boarding School – How It Shapes You | Reflections on Boarding School Syndrome
What happens when your parents — not you — went to boarding school? How might their experiences shape your childhood, and the adult you become?In this reflective episode, I explore the hidden ways parental boarding school experiences can ripple through generations. Drawing on personal stories, research, and dozens of podcast interviews, I share how traits like emotional distance, overwork, and rep
The Healing Power of Trauma-Informed Psychiatry – Dr. Paul Miller | AEM #135 | Piers Cross
In this powerful episode of The Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Professor Dr. Paul Miller — consultant psychiatrist, EMDR trainer, and pioneer in the use of psychedelic-assisted therapy for trauma.We explore Dr. Miller's remarkable journey through psychiatry, from the early days of surgical training to becoming a leading voice in trauma-informed care. He shares eye-opening insights into ho
Why Does Boarding School Create Burnout? | Piers Cross
A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about his CEO. He mentioned that the CEO tried to micromanage everything. And that he couldn't stop. And that he was reaching burnout. He mentioned that he was South African. So I asked, "Did he go to boarding school?" He replied, "Yes, I am pretty sure he did." So I mentioned boarding school syndrome and that micromanaging everyth
Stress + Rest = Growth | Piers Cross
Last week I took a holiday and had time off work. I recorded this reflection about how stress is not usually the problem and is often a good thing. That is as long as we rest. When we rest daily. We stop. We turn off our phones and push notifications. We grow. Some reflections today about the equation Stress + Rest = Growth. Take care, Piers #stressmanagement #rest #growth #burnout #leadershipburn
The Foundations of A Thriving Relationship | 7 Radical Questons | AEM #134 Roy Biancalana
Roy Biancalana is a nationally recognized relationship coach, bestselling author, and host of The Attracting Lasting Love Podcast. With over 15 years of experience, Roy helps singles identify and overcome the internal barriers that keep them from finding fulfilling, lasting relationships. His journey into coaching began from personal hardship – navigating heartbreak, divorce, and unsuccessful rebo
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