The Battery Operated Magic Toupee - The Dark Podcast
A dark comedy podcast hosted by Elliott Stein, featuring twisted sketches, offensive humour, and absurd satire. Each episode dives into wonderfully inappropriate topics and no-holds-barred social commentary for adult listeners. The show also offers premium unedited content through Patreon. It carries an explicit-content warning and is not intended for the easily offended.
Episodes
s3 e8 -"Depression Talk and Non Stop Peeing”
After peeing and peeing (and peeing) nonstop, and falling inlove with a gender bending and confused dog – it’s time for in-depth therapy with Depression Talk.
s3 e7 - “Exploding Arse Syndrome”
From a producer who’s imaginary children don’t want to knowhim, we learn the correct method for spreading pig lard on your private parts and raise awareness for the horrors of Exploding Arse Syndrome.
s3 e6 -"Another Sid Bunyons Mystery and God Save Us"
After dealing with the moral dilemma of whether or not to vote for Honest Harry from the Trust Me Party, Sid Bunyons is on another trail of something that seems almost somewhat like a murder mystery.
s3 e5 - "WW All Inclusive 2: Europe on the brink of Cancellation"
The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee presents the mostinclusive, diverse, equitable, Integrated, and other bullshit synonyms for the wokest World War 2 drama ever.
s3 e4 - "The Adventures Of Cool-Man"
Following the devastation caused by the loose bowels ofDitzy the Goat, The Battery Operated Magic Toupee not proudly presents the greatest superhero of all time. More Superer than Superman, More Batty than Batman, more other things than other superheroes… we present The Adventures of Coolmam!
s3 e3 - "The Stolen Breakfast In Bloodstone Rock"
This episode finally provides relief to all those suffererswho cannot finish a sentence with Dr Hank Hinkley’s Online Sentence Finishing Course as The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee presents the cinematic masterpiece:“The Stolen Breakfast In Bloodstone Rock.”
s3 e2 – "The Stupid Detective And The Underpants Omelette"
This epic episode features the great detective Sid Bunyons ashe finds his niche: solving mysteries for the colossally stupid we view The Arse Biscuit Network – which is as intelligent as it sounds, but first... : an underpants omelette..
s3 e1: "This Strike Is Interrupted By The Gayest Gay Trousers In The Universe".
Welcome to season 3 of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee, which is interrupted by a strike of ‘The Talent’ (which is ironically referred to as ‘The Talent’) and the strike is interrupted by a gay trouser incident instigated by the gayest gay trousers in the universe.
s2 special encore - REPEAT AND UPDATED: “Election Special from season 1”
What is more ridiculous and ten times stupider than the coming local elections in the United Kingdom? Answer: A special remastered and expanded rerun of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee Election Special from season 1.We feature party political messages from The F**cking Embarrassing Party, The New Woke NAZI Paty, The Pity Party all the parties that no one in the right mind should vote for (but y
s2ep22 - Worst Of The Best Of The Worst - part 2
As we wrap the second season and approach the upcoming third series of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we look back at some of the best of the worst of the best… OR the worst of the best of the worst of Series 2 - part two,i ncluding deleted sketches, weird moments, and the kind of chaotic comedy you never knew you needed.This episode is your backstage pass to the madness—complete
s2ep21 - Best Of The Worst Of The Best - part 1
As we wrap the second season and approach the upcoming third series of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we look back at some of the best of the worst of the best… OR the worst of the best of the worst of Series 2 including deleted sketches, weird moments, and the kind of chaotic comedy you never knew you needed.This episode is your backstage pass to the madness—complete with unce
s2 special - REPEAT AND UPDATED: “The Case Of The Exploding Enema Bag - A Sid Bunyons Mystery”
The producers (actually the 2nd rate hacks) proudly (actually with great embarrassment) present a special (not special - it was just lying around and we used it) remastered (we fixed some major flaws) of Season one's (we should have ended the show with season 1) finalle: “The Case Of The Exploding Enema Bag - A Sid Bunyons Mystery”
s2 e20 - "A New Season Of Crap On The Lowest Common Denominator Network""
A preview of the upcoming season of the Lowest CommonDenominator Network, including the dramatic premier of the ground-breaking feature film " Diseases and Maladies of the Anus", The Royal Shakespeare company RSC is ordered by the courtsto recognise talent, inflicted with no talent, be a protected class. Thrill to the western drama of Hank Perve and his trustystallion Rusty 'T'
s2 e19 - "The Perfect Stool or Lobsters In Your Underpants"
If you suffer from Lobsters in your underpants – this penultimate episode of season 2 may be the mostimportant and urgent thing you may hear this decade… maybe even this century… or at least the next 30 seconds. You can catch up with the latest episode of the world renown,not known anywhere, Dr Bradford Bottemley – Proctologist, the man with the golden finger and witness the perfect stool (we me
S2e18 - Special - "Pre-BOMT"
This special edition trip through the BOMT archieves features the original comedy shorts and promos that were originally aired as the build up to the series.
s2 e17 - New Year's Eve Special -"The Late, Not Great, Happy New Year"
Our New Years Eve Special (lets be honest about this - there is one New years Eve sketch). Premiering on this episode, the long awaited sequel to a beloved classic, over 450 years in the making: Romeo and Juliet 2: - THe Day After."
S2e16 – "“Merry Christmas - Rudolph is Dead”"
In our final new Christmas episode, we end the year with aspecial helping of warped festival stuff for our loyal Bat-Op-Mag-Toupers… Discover the secrets of Flinging Excrement for Christmas, Shed a tear for Rudolf Is Dead and discover the exciting (maybe not exciting) Christmas Programming On TheLowest Common Denominator Network which includes new episodes of “North pole General Hospital”, the d
S2 – REPEAT and UPDATED #2 - S1 e 21 “HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2: "The Twitlike Zone: Jerry’s Foreskin for Christmas
As a special festive treat, we’ve remastered and updatedsome new stuff to our popular second Christmas episode from last year. Featuring our epic presentation (ok 9 minutes long but it’s epic for us) episode of "The Twitlike Zone: Jerry’s Foreskin for Christmas". Seriously – we had fun doing this one and hope you enjoy it.
S2e15 – “New Improved Jew in a Can” - 2025 holiday special 1
Our first of two-brand new Christmas specials for our loyal(and un- loyal) Bat-Op-Mag-Toupers… In this episode: witness the ultimate solution to crappy Family Christmas Dinners! Be enchanted by the story of “Doris theDungbeetle’s Christmas Tree” and transform the entire holiday season with the all new (and mildly offensive) “Jew In A Can”.The Battery Operated Magic Toupee is the ONLY way to begin
S2 – REPEAT and UPDATED - S1 e 20 “HOLIDAY SPECIAL 1: Sexing Up Chanukah For Christmas”
As a special holiday treat – we’ve remastered the first of last year’s holiday specials and added a few new surprises for this repeat episode. Cringe at “The Adventures of Intellectual Shopping Mall Santa”, save loads of money and prove what a miser you are with “Mean Morty’s Christmas Tips” and the repackaging of the Jewish holiday with “Sexing Up Chanukah”.
s2 e14 - "“The Continuing Adventures Of Doris The Dung Beetle”
We have an exciting, scatologically packed, episode for allyou Bat- Op-Mag-Toupers… On this week’s dropping (as in animal droppings) of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast asks the unaskable question, “DoYou Want To Do ‘IT’ With Greta Thunberg (the answer still has the production staff shivering in revulsion). After another charming adventure of every child’s favourite tale “The Contin
S2 e13 – "Never Too Late For A Post Abortion"
In this week’s penetrating episode (we chose the word penetrating on purpose… suggests sexual stuff) – We offer the ultimate solution to brats and misfits with “Post Abortion”, and learn the art of lazy comedy in “ Fuckbisquets Macdoogal’s Lazy Comedy School” and after dining at “Canabal Café” experience another uninspired episode of Inspired Business Now.”
s2 e12 – Halloween 2 - "The Twitlike Zone Halloween Special"
Halloween – the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee wanted to personally transverse the multiverse and wish every individual in existence, both past, present, and future and those existing in higher planes of existence a Happy Halloween. It intended to create a display of Halloween cheer using over three trillion holographic generators linked to one another with spectacular super-mega AI generated image
s2 e11 – Halloween 1 - "Planet Tourettes”
To celebrate Halloween, BOMT visited Planet Vampire, a dead world with no life.One theory behind this dead planet is that it was a planet of Vampires which only had vampires and no people. All the vampires did was attack and drink the blood of fellow vampires while defending themselves from other vampires by driving stakes through other vampires hearts.That was it – drinking blood from one anothe
s2 e10 – “Buttplugs ‘R’ Us”
In this episode The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee landed on planet A PLANET, a desperate planet where they just ran out of ideas and A PLANET was the best name they could come up with for their planet.A PLANET was once the hive of wit and creativity in the galaxy, the centre of sophistication - now it reuses the same tire shite over and over. The last original joke on the planet was written over 4
s2 e9: “Gameshows on The Lowest Common Denominator Network”
The battery-operated magic toupee landed on the planet Switcheroo, A planet where no one was happy or satisfied with the way they were and identified with things they weren’t. No-one knew where they were going as south transitioned north and north transitioned east. Rich people identified as the common man while the working man transitioned to be rich. Women switched to men, Men swapped to women,
s2 e8 : “Masturbation: The Ultimate Taboo”
In this episode BOMT landed on the Dickofa Barnyard’s sister planet: Animatude – a world of animals with too much attitude… lets be blunt and not mince words: the animals are RIGHT assholes! TOO MUCH F-CKING ATTITUDE!These are not the cute innocent creatures of Earth!Cats covertly jump on you and say, “Admire me bitch! I want you to fucking worship me and tell me how great I look. I'm now goin
s2 e7: "As a Member of No Community..."
The Battery Operated Magic Toupee remained on Planet Biff Glickman Is A Twat.The whole purpose of this planet was to have the fact that Biff Glickman is a twat live in memoriam long after Biff Glickman and knowledge of his twattiness passed from memory. Scientists have debated whether Biff Glickman was a twat or just a bit of a dick? Or if he was a twat, was Biff Glickman a colossal twat or just a
s2 e6: "the Adventures Of Inappropriate Man
The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee landed on the planet Biff Glickman Is A Twat.” – a planet discovered and inhabited purely out of spite.“Biff Glickman Is A Twat” was discovered over 1,200 years ago by Harry Schmidlabt. Harry was irritated by Biff Glickman. According to the planet’s one best seller “Why Biff Glickman Is A twat”, it was written: “Biff Glickman is a twat because he slept with my sis
s2e5: "This Season On The Lowest Common Denomination Network"
The Battery Operated Magic Toupee landed on Dickofa Barnyard - a planet that would give Old McDonald a stroke and have him drop dead on his farm while whispering his dying words of “Ee- i ee- i fucking-o!”On a planet where the animals are nasty little shits andtalk, some of the cows on the farm moo, “Hey ya fucking perve, stop squeezing my milky teats! Go squeeze your wife’s titties with those ca
s2 e4: "View And Review With The Film Fatties"
After journeying from dimension to dimension and multiverse to multiverse, The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee was getting lonely. He wanted someone or something to share his life with.Actually, to be perfectly candid, The battery Operated Magic Toupee wanted to get laid hence it landed onPlookit Four: one of the best planets in the multiverse where one can easily log in to a website and immediately
S2 e3: "Antler Flow for Moose"
The Battery Operated Magic Toupee landed in the planet U-I-whatever. U-I-whatever is the planet of social media. It isn't the case that person-to-person interactions are just looked down… they are forbidden. A live conversation, in person, with another being is considered, in the words of the planet’s greatest intellect, “Eeeech… how fucking cringeworthy.”After an eight-hour live feed of sleep, in
s2e2: "Bagwan McGintee’s Multidimensional Bowel Movement Technique "
The battery-operated magic toupee landed on the most egocentric planet in the galaxy. ME is a world of PURE self-indulgence and the only planet in the cosmos that demands, under penalty of cancellation, that its name, ME, is always written in capital letters and in bold and underlined.As soon as The Battery Operated Magic Toupee landed on ME launched it’s one battery-operated magic toupee show… wh
s2 e1: "Explosive Diarrhoea Syndrome"
(NOTE: We, the producers, apologize for this first episode of the new season transmitted from planet SorryArse). The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee visited the sorriest planet in the known universe. The planet SorryArse. SorryArse is the pitiful excuse for a planet masquerading as an apology of a rotating rock with people living on it. while dwelling on the planet Sorry-Arse, The Battery-Operated M
s1ep28 - Best Of The Worst Of The Best - part 2
As we approach the second series of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we look back at some of the best of the worst of the best… OR the worst of the best of the worst of Series 1, including deleted sketches, weird moments, and the kind of chaotic comedy you never knew you needed.This episode is your backstage pass to the madness—complete with uncensored outtakes, absurd characters,
s1ep27 - The Best of the Worst of the Best - part 1
As we approach the second series of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we look back at some of t he best of the worst of the best OR the worst of the best of the worst of series 1, including some deleted sketches and odd and ends. This episode is your backstage pass to the madness—complete with uncensored outtakes, absurd characters, fart-powered inventions, and surreal storytelling.
ENCORE EP 1 (s1 ep10) - “Porking Sexy Sacred Cows”
A special encore episode of season 1 episode 10 - full uncut version as we await season 2. 🚨 Warning: No sacred cow was left unsnorted in this one.In this wildly unfiltered episode of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we grab the taboo by the horns and give it a firm comedic spanking. From sultry livestock fantasies to debunking the untouchable truths of modern life, we serve satire
S1e26 - “The Case Of The Exploding Enema Bag - A Sid Bunyons Mystery”
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After a first season of artistically desolate and painful explorations of exploring new dimensions and bringing back artefacts of sheer stupidity, BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) staggers back to home port with smoking diodes, melting intelligence chips, and smeared faecal on its b
S1e25 - “The New Improved Anal Symphony”
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On this special penultimate episode
of season 1, BOMT stopped on the way to a galaxy that would have been amazing, and could have supplied the best programming of the series, and possibly could
have been the best podcast ever made.
But the most spectacular episode of a podcast was never
rea
S1e24 – “Literal Method Therapy Sex Apps”
In our latest Funny Comedy Podcast....BOMT overstayed its welcome and continued vegetating (no pun intended) on Asparagusto 1, that orb of flatulence inducing green side dish known as the most asparagus-centric society in the multiverse.Their system of currency is asparagus. This makes shopping difficult since the asparagus in one’s wallet goes putrid and becomes a glomp of stinky vegetable schmut
S1e23 – “Disempowerment Untransformed Seminars”
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With a carrot accidently lodged in its back cooling passage, BOMT stumbled upon Planet Asparagusto 1,
the most asparagus-centric society in the multiverse, an entire civilization rooted in (no pun intended) asparagus.
On a planet with no intrinsically valuable materials and
where nothing
s1e22 – “F-ing With Nature”
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BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) lands on Whackoff 8, the most self-sexually, self-romantically, and self-involved planet in a self-absorbed universe of immense, egocentric, imperiousness. The official transcription logs of BOMT, as it approached the gravitational field of pure na
s1e21 - HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2: "The Twitlike Zone: Jerry’s Foreskin for Christmas"
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It’s time to verbally vomit clichéd merry Christmases and
happy Chanukah schmutz into a microphone and poop out into a second holiday special.
BOMT is shamelessly exploited by producers for a cheesy
second holiday special designed by producers to excrete some more happy holiday crap that ri
S1e20 “HOLIDAY SPECIAL 1: Sexing Up Chanukah For Christmas”
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BOMT landed on an alternative timeliness of Earth in time
for the ultimate holiday of love and kindness of man to his fellow man and transvestite. It was the time of year where miracles are celebrated: The annual wanking of the bull.
In this alternative timeliness timeline, Spaniards cele
s1 e19 “The Puckered Anus of A Syphilitic Dog With Haemorrhoids”
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BOMT travels to the most sanitary planet of good taste and
smells in the galaxy, a planet where shit doesn’t exist.
No animal or vegetable possesses an anus (that said, minerals possess a micro-atomic level mini anus however it is so tiny
and theoretical that, f
s1ep18 - “The Frimpton Baby Pooped Itself”
Subscribe for the Unedited Chaos!Get full, uncut episodes and exclusive content: 👉 Patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast.Questions or rants? Email us at: bomt@bomt.uk.
🎙 This Episode: Offensive comedy, absurd satire, and unfiltered laughs await as The Battery Operated Magic Toupee travels to Planet Terseconsise—a place so succinct it only has three words in its dictionary: succinct, terse, and concise. Philos
s1e17 - ““Nixon Is a C-Word.” (election Special no.2)
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BOMT watches its back and removes the knives as they appear
in it as it revisits a world in which dark comedy writers are unnecessary since all
the universe’s absurd, preposterous, and ridiculous crap has fallen from a wormhole and in the midst of a steam
s1e16 - “Don’t Vote For The Asshole or Shminglefart” (election Special no.1)
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In this Twisted humor for adults episode BOMT
shiftily sleazes backwards through the stench tunnel leading to the most putrid arsepit of sleaze and corruption, an antiuniverse where integrity has been replaced by putrid pig mick. It is the world of politics. It is a world where the enti
s1e15 – “A Talentless Contest"
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BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) goes hardcore e-S&M,
submissively puts on a Kalavax dog collar, begged for forgiveness from the dominant
Schlooglehabs of Planet Imyoubitch4, and
insisted to be disciplined. It digitally
exclaimed “I’m a naughty multidimensional toupee which is magical and operated
by batteries… scrape
s1e14 – “The Personalised Gender and Pronoun Shop”
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BOMT (The Battery-Operated magic Toupee) cloddingly clomped through “Huh-Um-Duh” the most illiterate dumbed down arse tunnel of the multiverse. The following was written inside the Ignorancy Wave Field of Huh-Um-Duh:
“BOMT go in thing. Go BOMT go. BOMT do farty sound, ha-ha, laff at BOMT
s1e13 –“This Restaurant Doesn’t Take Shit “
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BOMT lands on the planet Attitude with another adult comedy
Look buddy - we’ll tell you what this sodding episode of BOMT is about but DON’T ‘F-us-about’, okay!
I apologise. BOMT is visiting the Planet Attitude, a planet which boast the most attitude of any planet in the multiverse and it just got to me… the attitude. And… why th
S1 - E1 ‘Stopping Gas On The Pants Pooping Trail’ (BOMT)
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8 May 2024
On our premier, very first, episode: BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) transmits from the multiverse: ‘Douche Colossus’, known as the most self-centred ‘me-verse’ of the multiverse.
If you’re listening from Douche Colossus, please reframe from writing love poems to yourself for a moment and listen to the first ske
s1e12 – “Filthy Frank And The Weird Fucking Asshole”
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There is really not much we can say as the Battery Operated Toupee unmotivatingly visits the most uninspired dimension in the multiverse. TV ads drone the message, “Are you feeling inspired and lit up – well we now have something to cure that.” We’d like to write more about this episode a
s1e11 – “Noah Likes Animals… Too Much!”
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BOMT (The Battery-Operated magic Toupee) wholeheartedly daytripped through the most sincere apology for a planet in the multiverse: planet Grovel. As it passed through the unfeigned, thick, clouds of smoke blowing up the arses of its inhabitants, BOMT apologised so sincerely that it’s met
S1 - E10 - “Porking Sexy Sacred Cows”
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Our special 10th episode (which is significant for coming after episode 9 and before 11) has BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) in a sombre and depressed mood as the existence of the podcast series lowers the quality of life and creates a stink throughout all known multiverses, thoro
S1 - E9 - “Beware Of Tourists”
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BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) crashs on the planet KraꟇאּﬣnsmÆotdenݗnvgtgtmbargfgHdenᵹ₠∏shart, a planet where it’s inhabitants, from the age of 4 till age 75, go to school in order to learn the correct pronunciation
of the planet’s name. No-one ever graduates and there is no nee
S1 - E8 - “Papa Hitler’s Irritable Bowel Cabaret”
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BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) effortlessly glided into “Gotit 5”, an empowering world of positivity and unrivalled cuteness, a world where political correctness and diversity, equity and inclusion is woven into the fibre of every being’s DNA.
BOMT reacted by vomiting a bathtub
S1 - E7 - “OoompaLumpa-ism and the adventures of Sleeznac”
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BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) wanders into a corner of the multi-verse that doesn’t exist because a multiverse, like a universe, doesn’t have corners since it is infinitely expanding and something that is infinite can’t have a corner.
Instead of examining this paradoxical quand
S1 - E6 - “The Carbon Neutral environmentally responsible Liberal” (BOMT)
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BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) visits a planet SO woke that it hurts it in its gender thing of no fixed abode as it un-cancels itself, chooses a new pronoun: Whatthe/ Fuck, and chooses to identify itself as
a confused cisgender toupee with bisexual magic that is battery operated
S1 - E5 “Psycho Spoiling PC Comedians” (BOMT)
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BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) visits a unnamed multiverse that we cannot name because it was cancelled for being ‘uniphobic’ – phobic of everything in the universe that one can be phobic about. If we mention the name of this cancelled universe we will be cancelled across every
S1 - E4 “Gang Banging With Mini Mouse” (BOMT)
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BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) scrubs its private parts with industrial cleaner after it visits the universe “Fukhorse”, where humans love animals… just a little too much. Let’s not delve into this further… we’ll just say they love animals a little too much.
BOMT begins the epis
S1 - E3 “ To Love A Proctologist” (BOMT)
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BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) poots and farts four degrees left to dimension “Arse 4”, one whole degree and one less whiff from dimension Arse 3. It is a dimension which embraces an arse-centric view of the ‘hole’ universe.
BOMT begins with a profound moment of introspection and
S1 - E2 ‘Gone With The Breaking Wind’ (BOMT)
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Episode 2 has BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) transmitting from a timeline which contradicts Winston Churchill’s assertion that “History is written by the victors”. In this timeline, history (and everything else) is written by losers. To be more precise: complete fucking losers.
The Battery Operated Magic Toupee - The Podcast - "Don't Touch Yourself While Listening"
Another short promo for The Battery Operated Magic Toupee - The Podcast, launching 8 May 2024.
Battery Operated Magic Toupee - Promo 2 "BOMT Gets Political"
Another short promo for The Battery Operated Magic Toupee - The Podcast, launching 8 May 2024.
Promo 1 - The Battery Operated Magic Toupee - coming soon
-Promo for new upcoming series-
The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee journeys across the multiverse, from world to world, culture to culture,
collecting samples of TV and radio, social media, and other ludicrous crap.
This podcast is a collection of REAL cultural artefacts gathered by BOMT as it farts across alternative
universes.
A new scripted sketch comedy series in the form of a
podcast aimed a
